Bite Me cover art

Bite Me

A Love Story

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Bite Me

Written by: Christopher Moore
Narrated by: Susan Bennett
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About this listen

"The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge, shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup.

"‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a blood sucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non."

Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.

©2010 Christopher Moore (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers
Fantasy Fiction Literature & Fiction Romance Cats Vampire City Paranormal San Francisco
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What the critics say

"Moore’s most hysterical ‘love story’ to date." ( Booklist)

What listeners say about Bite Me

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Danger: use caution while listening

This book (all three books, in fact) is so funny and performed to such hilarious perfection that you laugh really, really hard and could get into an accident while driving, or drop a weight on some unfortunate part of your anatomy at the gym. The up side is laughing hysterically for no apparent reason while on public transit will usually clear some physical distance around you pretty quickly, and probably get you an empty seat in the wake of the “get away from the crazy person” exodus.
You may also experience side effects like tears streaming down your face, the need to stop dead while walking to bend over with laughter, the sudden onset of starting each sentence which sounds like a question? with “Kayso” and referring to significant others as “love monkey”.

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  • Overall
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Good story, voicing can be annoying

The narrator's voice characterization of the main girl in the story, while probably accurate to character, was annoying to listen to and made it difficult to finish. Another good story by Moore, and if you can get past Abby's "voice", this is fun.

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