BuyMort: Rise of the Window Puncher: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
Shopocalypse Saga, Book 3
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wish list failed.
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Buy Now for $55.98
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Wayne Mitchell
-
Written by:
-
Damien Hanson
-
Joseph Phelps
About this listen
A leader dead. A complicated relationship lost. And a conglomerate angered...
After unwittingly becoming the CEO of the growing Silken Sands Affiliate, Tyson finds himself in an increasingly dangerous Arizonan desert, the protector of a growing community of Nu-Earth humans faced with the very real possibility of total corporate annihilation.
Dearth wants their land, and they will not take no for an answer. But behind Tyson stand a growing band of capable administrators and heroes, and a community of people who believe in him. He is their leader. They trust in him, even if he doesn't trust in himself.
Powerful multiversal forces are at play. Market upsets, brilliant purchases, and the invisible hand slide, slap, and strangle as the campaign for Arizona state rages, and Silken Sands digs in for a decisive battle.
This story features an amalgamation of Amazon, Walmart, every service fee, sales algorithm, membership perk, advertising jingo, Microsoft mascot, and insane discount that you have ever experienced in your life coupled with the madness of the multiverse, a dash of invisible hand monopolism, feudalism, straight-up cronyism, and LOTS of profanity. There is fantasy violence, base-building, tons of market loot, monsters, a dungeon, affiliate and credit levels, and progression.
BuyMort: Rise of the Window Puncher completes the How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona story arc, but the Shopocalypse Saga will continue.
©2023 Joseph Phelps and Damien Hanson (P)2023 Podium AudioYou may also enjoy...
-
BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
- Shopocalypse Saga, Book 1
- Written by: Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps
- Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
- Length: 16 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
-
-
Fun story that kept me laughing
- By Lephturn on 2023-06-27
Written by: Damien Hanson, and others
-
Sylver Seeker
- A LitRPG Adventure
- Written by: Kennit Kenway
- Narrated by: Garrett Michael Brown
- Length: 20 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Don't miss the start of this LitRPG adventure about a reincarnated necromancer growing in power and finding his way in a new world where the rules have changed vastly since he last "lived".
-
-
Very solid
- By Hunter on 2024-05-06
Written by: Kennit Kenway
-
Mimic & Me
- Written by: Cassius Lange, Ryan Tang
- Narrated by: Ryan H. Reid, Dorrie Sacks, Jeff Hays
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Betrayed and left for dead by a group of slaving nobles, he thought there was nothing left but to bleed out as he counted the number of bricks on the ceiling. But fate had other plans.
-
-
Good story / weird noises
- By King Corbeil on 2024-03-10
Written by: Cassius Lange, and others
-
Mark of the Fool
- A Progression Fantasy Epic
- Written by: J.M. Clarke
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 19 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After his parents died, Alex Roth had one desire: become a wizard. Through hard work, he was accepted into the University of Generasi, the world’s greatest academy of wizardry.... Fate, however, had another plan. On his 18th birthday, he is Marked by prophecy as one of his kingdom’s five Heroes, chosen to fight the Ravener, his land’s great enemy. But his brand is "The Fool". Worst of the marks.
-
-
Frustrating
- By Jessica on 2023-12-01
Written by: J.M. Clarke
-
Corruption Wielder
- Book 1
- Written by: Aaron Shih
- Narrated by: Matt Hicks, Erin Bateman
- Length: 17 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
April 3rd, 3:46 AM. Planet Earth merges with the magical world of Arcadia, and a system gives humanity a choice: 40 years of indentured servitude, or entering a tutorial as a user to fight against the chaos incursion. Will doesn't hesitate—but the system thanks him for stepping into the fight by throwing him into an impossible tutorial. With little chance of survival, Will has a simple response: “Screw it. Might as well fight fire with fire."
-
-
Worth the listen
- By Sondra on 2024-08-11
Written by: Aaron Shih
-
Chrysalis, Books 1-3
- A LitRPG Adventure Box Set
- Written by: RinoZ
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays, Annie Ellicott
- Length: 54 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Anthony has been reborn! Placed into the remarkable game-like world of Pangera. But something seems a little off... What's with these skills? Bite? Dig? Wait.... He's been reborn as a WHAT?! Follow Anthony as he attempts to adjust to his new life as an ant in his new Dungeon home. He'll have to learn how to survive, level-up, and grow both himself and his bite-sized colony into a force to be reckoned with.
-
-
Unlikeable MC
- By S. on 2024-02-18
Written by: RinoZ
-
BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona
- Shopocalypse Saga, Book 1
- Written by: Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps
- Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
- Length: 16 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
-
-
Fun story that kept me laughing
- By Lephturn on 2023-06-27
Written by: Damien Hanson, and others
-
Sylver Seeker
- A LitRPG Adventure
- Written by: Kennit Kenway
- Narrated by: Garrett Michael Brown
- Length: 20 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Don't miss the start of this LitRPG adventure about a reincarnated necromancer growing in power and finding his way in a new world where the rules have changed vastly since he last "lived".
-
-
Very solid
- By Hunter on 2024-05-06
Written by: Kennit Kenway
-
Mimic & Me
- Written by: Cassius Lange, Ryan Tang
- Narrated by: Ryan H. Reid, Dorrie Sacks, Jeff Hays
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Betrayed and left for dead by a group of slaving nobles, he thought there was nothing left but to bleed out as he counted the number of bricks on the ceiling. But fate had other plans.
-
-
Good story / weird noises
- By King Corbeil on 2024-03-10
Written by: Cassius Lange, and others
-
Mark of the Fool
- A Progression Fantasy Epic
- Written by: J.M. Clarke
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 19 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After his parents died, Alex Roth had one desire: become a wizard. Through hard work, he was accepted into the University of Generasi, the world’s greatest academy of wizardry.... Fate, however, had another plan. On his 18th birthday, he is Marked by prophecy as one of his kingdom’s five Heroes, chosen to fight the Ravener, his land’s great enemy. But his brand is "The Fool". Worst of the marks.
-
-
Frustrating
- By Jessica on 2023-12-01
Written by: J.M. Clarke
-
Corruption Wielder
- Book 1
- Written by: Aaron Shih
- Narrated by: Matt Hicks, Erin Bateman
- Length: 17 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
April 3rd, 3:46 AM. Planet Earth merges with the magical world of Arcadia, and a system gives humanity a choice: 40 years of indentured servitude, or entering a tutorial as a user to fight against the chaos incursion. Will doesn't hesitate—but the system thanks him for stepping into the fight by throwing him into an impossible tutorial. With little chance of survival, Will has a simple response: “Screw it. Might as well fight fire with fire."
-
-
Worth the listen
- By Sondra on 2024-08-11
Written by: Aaron Shih
-
Chrysalis, Books 1-3
- A LitRPG Adventure Box Set
- Written by: RinoZ
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays, Annie Ellicott
- Length: 54 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Anthony has been reborn! Placed into the remarkable game-like world of Pangera. But something seems a little off... What's with these skills? Bite? Dig? Wait.... He's been reborn as a WHAT?! Follow Anthony as he attempts to adjust to his new life as an ant in his new Dungeon home. He'll have to learn how to survive, level-up, and grow both himself and his bite-sized colony into a force to be reckoned with.
-
-
Unlikeable MC
- By S. on 2024-02-18
Written by: RinoZ
-
Loremaster
- Ascension of a Street Rat, Book 1
- Written by: M.E. Robinson
- Narrated by: Pavi Proczko
- Length: 22 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With a knife in his gut, Rowan figured he was destined to become just another corpse littering the slums of Taureen. So he was fairly surprised to wake up in the back of a moving wagon with a couple of adventurers. Turns out that Rowan had been given something most street rats can only dream of—a second chance.
-
-
Came for Pavi...Stayed for story
- By xavier on 2023-11-08
Written by: M.E. Robinson
-
Shadeslinger
- The Ripple System, Book 1 (A Fantasy LitRPG Series)
- Written by: Kyle Kirrin, Portal Books
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 21 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Corporate flameout Ned Altimer dreams of leaving his world behind. So, when Earthblood Online splashes onto the VRMMO scene, he dives in and never looks back. His advantages are twofold: exclusive access to the game’s three-day Head Start period, and a ridiculously handsome talking axe named Frank who has knowledge of the game’s deepest secrets...if the magnificent Frank ever feels like sharing them.
-
-
Loved it
- By Amazon Customer on 2021-02-22
Written by: Kyle Kirrin, and others
-
Industrial Strength Magic
- Written by: Macronomicon
- Narrated by: Steve Campbell, Jeff Hays, Annie Ellicott, and others
- Length: 24 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Born to a Magical Fantasy Princess and a nine-to-five Supervillain in the most superhero riddled city in the world, Perry's never felt...adequate. He's got no talent for magic, and not a scrap of superpowers to his name. When The System boots and unlocks his powers, it forces him to follow in his father's footsteps, but he'd rather take after his mother... Maybe there's a way he can do both...
-
-
invincible meets sky high
- By Elizabeth B on 2024-09-20
Written by: Macronomicon
-
Big Sneaky Barbarian: A LitRPG Novel
- Book 1
- Written by: Seth McDuffee
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain
- Length: 20 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gabe Skelter has a temper, which he likes to imagine has the effect of causing people to fear and respect him. On the contrary, his pudgy, underdeveloped body and negative personality make him more your standard outcast teenager. Worse still, he kinda knows what a jerkweed he actually is. Then, in the middle of a class trip, Gabe finds himself spirited away to Regaia: a world of magic, mayhem, and nerd-tastic adventure. Naturally, he’s completely ill-prepared. But in this realm, he’s a monstrous, muscular man of action.
-
-
I suspect the author was trying for humor...
- By Amazon Customer on 2023-03-26
Written by: Seth McDuffee
-
The Prince Has No Pants
- Ben's Damn Adventure, Book 1
- Written by: Matthew Howry
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.
-
-
Just a good fun listen
- By Sir.Okey on 2023-04-15
Written by: Matthew Howry
-
Jake's Magical Market
- Written by: J.R. Mathews
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 20 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jake is working at the neighborhood market under his apartment when the world ends. He expected nuclear war, a computer virus, or even climate change burning everyone to a crisp to bring about the downfall of civilization. But cruel and arbitrary gods from another world? Who would have guessed that? When these cruel gods shuffled Earth like a deck of cards, nothing was in the same place anymore. Monsters, dungeons, and magical items appear scattered across the globe. And suddenly, everyone has access to a new, strange magical card system that gives them magical powers.
-
-
Pulls you in right away!
- By Frederick H Wright on 2022-02-24
Written by: J.R. Mathews
-
Iron Prince
- Warformed: Stormweaver, Book 1
- Written by: Bryce O'Connor, Luke Chmilenko
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 33 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Reidon Ward will become a god. He doesn't know it yet, of course. Reidon was born weak, sickly, and small. Afflicted with a painful disease and abandoned by his parents because of it, he has had to fight tooth and nail for every minor advantage life has allowed him. However, his perseverance has not gone unnoticed, and when the most powerful artificial intelligence in human history takes an interest in him, things began to change quickly.
-
-
So GOOD I lost sleep over this one!
- By sam on 2021-04-06
Written by: Bryce O'Connor, and others
-
Heretical Fishing: A Cozy Guide to Annoying the Cults, Outsmarting the Fish, and Alienating Oneself
- Heretical Fishing, Book 1
- Written by: Haylock Jobson
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 23 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When summoned to a fantastical world and granted powers by a broken System, most freshly minted protagonists would strap on their big-boy boots and get ready for their stats to start climbing. But Fischer isn't like most MCs. In fact, he doesn't want to be a hero at all. Fame? Fortune? Power? He had enough of all that in his old life. Discovering forbidden fishing techniques and petting every cute animal that comes within scritching distance? Now that's a good time.
-
-
Well, this was a surprise. Absolutely Superb.
- By TjR on 2024-04-24
Written by: Haylock Jobson
-
Dead Tired I
- Written by: RavensDagger
- Narrated by: Justin Thomas James, Dorrie Sacks, Tiana Camacho, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the distant past, a time of magic and swordplay, there lived Harold, the mightiest lich of all, a master of arcane sciences, and a challenger of gods. After reaching the pinnacle of his power and finding it surprisingly bland, Harold waged a cataclysmic war against the gods, aiming to shatter the very system that confined him.
-
-
Audio treat!
- By Kindle Customer on 2024-01-13
Written by: RavensDagger
-
All the Skills: A Deck-Building LitRPG
- All the Skills, Book 1
- Written by: Honour Rae
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 13 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Arthur lives with his father, a fallen but proud former noble, in Border Village #49, along with the other good folks condemned to toil in service to the Baron. But Arthur has an edge: a stolen heart card that secretly fell into his possession, thanks to a dragon. It’s a priceless source of power for the Baron and the tyrant will kill to get it back. Invaluable, too, to a young man of spellcasting ambitions.
-
-
Great story, no cards were needed.
- By Brian McKnight on 2024-08-10
Written by: Honour Rae
-
Beware of Chicken: A Xianxia Cultivation Novel
- Book 1
- Written by: Casualfarmer
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 12 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I’m stuck in his body. Arrogant Masters? Heavenly Tribulations? All that violence and bloodshed? Yeah, no thanks. I’m getting out of here. Farm life sounds pretty great. Tilling a field by hand is fun when you’ve got the strength of ten men—though maybe I shouldn’t have fed those Spirit Herbs to my pet rooster.
-
-
Surprisingly boring
- By Roman on 2023-08-07
Written by: Casualfarmer
-
Azarinth Healer: Book One
- A LitRPG Adventure
- Written by: Rhaegar
- Narrated by: Andrea Parsneau
- Length: 24 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ilea likes punching things. And eating. Unfortunately, there aren’t too many career options for hungry brawlers. Instead, the plan is to quit her crappy fast-food job, go to college, and become a fully functioning member of society. Essentially—a fate worse than death.
-
-
Mostly good, but frustrating
- By MKReads on 2023-07-10
Written by: Rhaegar