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  • Clowns vs. Spiders

  • Written by: Jeff Strand
  • Narrated by: Joe Hempel
  • Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
  • 3.3 out of 5 stars (6 ratings)

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Clowns vs. Spiders

Written by: Jeff Strand
Narrated by: Joe Hempel
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Publisher's Summary

Jaunty the Clown just wants to entertain families with lighthearted slapstick antics, but people think of clowns as terrifying, nightmarish creatures who hide in closets or under beds. When Jaunty, along with his fellow performers Guffaw, Wagon, Reginald the Pleasant Clown, and Bluehead are fired from the circus, they're told that the world just doesn't like clowns anymore.

Still, clowns have to eat. And since these clowns don't eat children, to make ends meet they're eventually forced to take a job in a popular haunted attraction, the Mountain of Terror. Instead of charming entertainers, they're now scary clowns. A zombie clown. A demon clown. A creepy doll clown.

But the town is about to discover something more frightening than clowns. Because on opening night, millions of oversized spiders emerge from a cave and begin their deadly invasion....

From Bram Stoker Award-nominated author Jeff Strand comes an insane mix of shameless silliness and grisly creepy-crawly horror. Clowns vs. Spiders. Who will win?

©2019 Jeff Strand (P)2019 Tantor

What listeners say about Clowns vs. Spiders

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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Hoped for more

This book explores all the stereotypes of spider and clown fear. It is neither funny enough or scary enough to be good. The characters ranged from ok to tedious. The narrator had very little inflection to their voice and was not able to pull off the dry wit. I had hoped for more from this book but was disappointed.

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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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Couldn't finish it..

I bought this book because of the title and looked forward to a creepy plot and a bit of laughter. Instead, although the author's attempt at dry wit succeeded in making me smile on just a couple of occasions, he just couldn't maintain the humor. Actually, it seems as if he was trying too hard to be funny. As for creepiness, there just isn't any. How can a writer make rampaging, overgrown, deadly spiders boring? Not to mention the clowns who are neither funny nor creepy. Instead, they are one-dimensional and tedious. Regarding narration, Joe Hempel is just okay: Not terrible. Not great. Anyway, I stopped listening and could kick myself for wasting a credit on this disappointment.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Weird

Fun and entertaining romp with two of the bigest phobias, clowns and spiders. How do you make a bunch of children's clowns into bad asses? make them humorous, heroic, and slightly silly. Like any good clown should be.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A Jaunty Tale

Was this a hard hitting psychologically destructive phobia filled nightmare?

Absolutely not.

Was it a quick, funny, kind of creepy, skin crawler?

Absolutely yes.

If you’re looking for something that you don’t have to think too hard about and can just sit back and enjoy the fun, this is a great book for you.

Warning: the title is not some kind of deep metaphor. There are both clowns and spiders in this book… but they’re the good kind of clown 😏 - there is no good kind of spider.

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