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Conflicted Scars

An Average Player’s Journey to the NHL

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Conflicted Scars

Written by: Justin Davis, Brian Kilrea - foreword
Narrated by: David Attar
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About this listen

An indispensable guide to parents of hockey hopefuls

At a time of great change in hockey, Justin Davis exposes the dark underbelly of the journey from the minors to the big leagues

Hockey culture: it’s a commonly used phrase inside the game, glorifying sacrifice, toughness, loyalty, and a sense of identity. Justin Davis viewed this culture as something he was lucky enough to experience. After all, he’d won a Memorial Cup after leading the tournament in scoring, and he’d been drafted by the Washington Capitals. “In my mind,” he says, “I was the normal one.” Unfortunately, after stepping outside the game, he began to recognize the racism, sexual abuse and bullying that was so deeply ingrained in the sport. And then, as his own children grew into teenagers, the curtain was pulled back, the memories came rushing forward, and he was horrified: “Why was I naked in a bus bathroom for four hours with seven teammates? What happened to my brain, and why can’t I remember the simplest things? How did I end up living in a basement where the strangers upstairs were clearly engaged in domestic abuse?”

As it navigates the sport’s darkest corridors, Conflicted Scars shares the story of the common Canadian player and offers a guide for parents who need to know how and why a typical teenager with NHL dreams, from a small town, now lives anxiously, introvertedly, and battling emotional detachment.

©2022 Justin Davis (P)2022 ECW Press
Hockey Sociology of Sports Sports
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What the critics say

“[A] very powerful, raw memoir calling into question many aspects of a hockey culture that glorifies sacrifice, toughness, and loyalty.”—Library Journal

“This is a deeply introspective, brutally honest memoir and a stark exposé of a part of hockey that remained hidden for far too long.”—Booklist

“I loved playing in the OHL, the second-best league in the world, and I have loved my life in the NHL. Justin’s book should be on the shelf of every hockey parent. He has some amazing stories … and every former player will vouch for them. Canada loves hockey, and rightly so, but we have to make sure the kids come first. I am glad my friend wrote this book.”—Joe Thornton, 22-year NHL veteran and Hart Memorial and Art Ross Trophy winner

What listeners say about Conflicted Scars

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A Timely and Honest look at the Traumas and Triumphs of Hockey

This book made me laugh, cry, feel uncomfortable and want to celebrate.

Justin Davis looks closely at the consequences and poor historical management of everything from concussions and hazing to horrible coaches and angry hockey parents. ( not his parents, who sound lovely) Along with various forms of discrimination and the silence surrounding it.

He also celebrates a lot of the good life lessons, memories, the friends, camaraderie, locker room banter, healthy adult mentors, his faith and countless memories. Well worth sharing for a glimpse into the hockey culture and the journey from being a sensitive and skilled player at 7 years old up through the OHL, NHL and European professional leagues.

He explores the complicated line between anger, degradation and pranks that can be both character building and character crushing.

This is a conversation starter for discussions that need to be had. Even if you aren’t a hockey player or hockey parent. Neither of which I am. I could relate well to poorly managed severe concussions and the consequences of TBIs. As well as navigating a long history of angry and abusive men and boys in our culture. And the hazing and bullying that happens in all kinds of institutions and groups outside of hockey as well.

We can only help break these cycles of violence with healthy communication and strong leaders. Something Justin Davis is trying to help model for us all.

Thank you Justin!

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Amazing Book! I couldn’t stop listening!

What a fantastic book Justin has written. An honest and real life acount of his career coupled with some funny stories and relatable life experiences. This was the best book I’ve read in 10 years. It kept me wanting more the entire time. Well done!

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Excellent reality of hockey in Canada

Captured the reality of hockey in Canada , I could relate very well to his story after playing two years of junior B from 1973 to 1975 and being drafted to the OHl in the 74 draft. I loved hockey until the business side kicked in and I was being asked to go beat up opponents on the other teams for no apparent reason except to deliver a message. Great story Justin evolving hockey to a better place takes a long time. I never scored any points telling my coaches to F/O when they asked me to do something which I thought made no sense. I have worked in the field of mental health and adolescents for the past 35 years and I know for a fact that my experiences in hockey led me there. Sincerely T.G

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A MUST READ FOR ALL WHO LOVE OR HATE HOCKEY

This book is amazing and so real and shocking. I have heard stories like Mr Davis over the years and to hear and see it in writing is the final piece to make a change.
I will recommend to all hockey or not to read.
if you are part of the Old Boys Network this should be a must and stop telling people boys are boys. CHL and NHL this is a must read so they can take their rose coloured glasses broke.
As a mental health advocate and trying to do what Mr. Davis is doing for OHL Storm I say thank you for giving me the push to continue helping players.

The reader of this audiobook Thames is pronounced "Tems" lol OCD

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