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Decoding Boys

New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons

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Decoding Boys

Written by: Cara Natterson
Narrated by: Cara Natterson
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About this listen

“If you’re raising a boy, you need this brilliant book. It is clear, wise, and eye-opening.” (Lisa Damour, PhD, author of Untangled)

When boys enter puberty, they tend to get quiet - or at least quieter than before - and parents often misread their signals. Here’s how to navigate their retreat and steer them through this confusing passage, by the best-selling author of The Care and Keeping of You series and Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys.

What is my son doing behind his constantly closed door? What’s with his curt responses, impulsiveness, newfound obsession with gaming, and...that funky smell? As pediatrician and mother of two teenagers Cara Natterson explains, puberty starts in boys long before any visible signs appear, and that causes confusion about their changing temperaments for boys and parents alike. Often, they also grow quieter as they grow taller, which leads to less parent-child communication. But, as Natterson warns in Decoding Boys, we respect their increasing "need" for privacy, monosyllabic conversations, and alone time at their peril. Explaining how modern culture mixes badly with male adolescent biology, Natterson offers science, strategies, scripts, and tips for getting it right:

  • Recognizing the first signs of puberty and talking to our sons about the wide range of "normal" through the whole developmental process
  • Why teenagers make irrational decisions even though they look mature - and how to steer them toward better choices
  • Managing video game and screen time, including discussing the unrealistic and dangerous nature of pornography
  • Why boys need emotional and physical contact with parents - and how to give it in ways they’ll accept
  • How to prepare boys to resist both old and new social pressures - drugs, alcohol, vaping, and sexting
  • Teaching consent and sensitivity in the #MeToo culture

Decoding Boys is a powerful and validating lifeline, an audiobook that will help today’s parents keep their sons safe, healthy, and resilient, as well as ensure they will become emotionally secure young men.

Praise for Decoding Boys

"Comforting...a common-sensical and gently humorous exploration of male puberty's many trials." (Kirkus Reviews)

©2020 Cara Natterson (P)2020 Random House Audio
Relationships School-Age Children Teenagers Young Adult Boys Development
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What the critics say

"Decoding Boys offers remarkable scientific insight as to why teenage boys seem to shut down and behave antisocially once they enter puberty. We would say we wish this book was around when we were teenagers, but we were too busy playing videogames, underage drinking, and lying to our parents to read." (Nick Kroll and Andrew Goldberg, co-creators of Big Mouth)

"Fifty years ago the publication of Our Bodies, Ourselves lifted women up by replacing ignorance and prejudice with knowledge and the power of sisterhood. Decoding Boys is equally revolutionary in its mission to help us understand the nuances of how boys develop. Natterson’s warm, candid, and conversational style gives us a vibrant, page-turning deep dive into both their emotional and physical growth; hers is an authoritative and passionate voice. I finished reading this book enlightened and excited to share it with parents of boys everywhere." (Wendy Mogel, PhD, New York Times best-selling author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B Minus)

"Decoding Boys debunks the widespread myth of the inscrutable teenage boy. Dr. Cara Natterson illuminates boys' inner lives, details the pressures they face from the outside world, and teaches parents how to effectively engage and support their adolescent sons. Decoding Boys is clear, wise, and eye-opening. If you're raising a boy, you need this brilliant book." (Lisa Damour, PhD, New York Times best-selling author of Untangled and Under Pressure)

What listeners say about Decoding Boys

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Highly recommended

As a mother of 13year twin boys and never have if been raised with a brother, this book was SUPER helpful.

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100% recommend!

This book was so full of information given in a way that made it easy to talk to my son. We travel often and I actually played the chapters for him. He said he liked that we weren’t talking but he could ask me questions if he needed. We did this when he was 13 and I wish I would have done it sooner.

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