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  • Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die

  • And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love, and More Things That Ruin Your Life
  • Written by: Daniel Sloss
  • Narrated by: Daniel Sloss
  • Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (88 ratings)

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Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die

Written by: Daniel Sloss
Narrated by: Daniel Sloss
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Publisher's Summary

One of this generation's hottest and boldest young comedians presents a transgressive and hilarious analysis of all of our dysfunctional relationships, and attempts to point us in the vague direction of sanity.

Daniel Sloss' stand-up comedy engages, enrages, offends, unsettles, educates, comforts, and gets audiences roaring with laughter - all at the same time. In his groundbreaking specials, seen on Netflix and HBO, he has brilliantly tackled everything from male toxicity and friendship to love, romance, and marriage - and claims (with the data to back it up) that his on-stage laser-like dissection of relationships has single-handedly caused more than 300 divorces and 120,000 breakups.

Now, in his first book, he picks up where his specials left off, and goes after every conceivable kind of relationship - with one's country (Sloss' is Scotland); with America; with lovers, ex-lovers, ex-lovers who you hate, ex-lovers who hate you; with parents; with best friends (male and female), not-best friends; with children; with siblings; and even with the global pandemic and our own mortality. In Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die, every human connection gets the brutally funny (and unfailingly incisive) Sloss treatment as he illuminates the ways in which all of our relationships are fragile and ridiculous and awful - but also valuable and meaningful and important.

©2020 Daniel Sloss (P)2020 Random House Audio
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What the critics say

“This is the Pandora's Box of self-help books.” (Conan O'Brien)

“He tells jokes that are transgressive, that are shocking, that are dark enough to emphasize that he’s not some kind of pious, soggy, joyless hector.” (Sophie Gilbert, The Atlantic)

“Sloss uses comedy as a means to not only make his fans laugh but also to raise critical questions about the way we act.” (Christina Zhao, Newsweek)

What listeners say about Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die

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Loved it

I'm a huge fan of Daniel Sloss' stand up comedy, and this book did not disappoint. I will probably listen to it again.

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AMAZING!!

Love Sloss's comedy and this book was such a great listen. Would recommend 100% and will be enjoyed by all!!

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BRUTALLY HONEST....PURELY BRILLIANT!

So truly brilliant that after the 1st chapter you can't wait to finish the book and start again!

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    4 out of 5 stars

Great hilarious dark uplifting book.

Loved the author reading his own book and his footnotes.
Great hilarious dark uplifting book.

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This book could be $100+ and i’d still buy it.

It’s like one wonderfully long stand up special/ted talk. The man is h i l a r i o u s. I had strangers staring at me in public because I was in tears laughing. I’m already on my second listen because I really want to let his perspective resonate. Daniel Sloss is an incredibly witty and insightful comedian whose perspective on life and relationships is refreshing in the same way having freezing water thrown in your face when your hungover is refreshing. You feel bombarded and personally attacked but it worked - you’re refreshed. As a 22yo who has very little figured out, i’m so grateful to have heard this perspective on relationships and I will be recommending this book to everyone. Brilliant.

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Laughed me fool head off!

Great narration and lots of silly bits. Got to let go of any political baggage and enjoy. Play on Daniel!

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Add another notch to the breakup/ divorce count.

Bud, mate, Dan, I know that you’ll probably never read this, but eh, what hell.
Side note, you’re a cunt and I want to hate you, you beautifully vicious man.

Your Jigsaw set made me question it my relationship and end it, this book Reinforced my decision and pulled me out of that darkness that follows.
I couldn’t have been shown your work at a better time, your work pulled me out of the darkest times of my life and this book helped stand me up the rest of the way.

Thank you.

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So funny

Absolutely needed this!! Made me laugh out loud often when I had my EarPods in…totally looked like a fool!

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Brilliant

If you love intelligent, poignant, honest, abusive, realistic comedy, and the word c**t, this is for you. The audio book is a must. No one could narrate this but Daniel Sloss. Brilliant book. Hilarious and sweet.

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I need more!

Daniel you are amazing and I am thrilled that you are happy in life. This is such a great book, I laughed, I cried and I thought deeply. My only complaint is that I wanted more!

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