Listen free for 30 days
-
Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die
- And Other Comforting Thoughts on Family, Friends, Sex, Love, and More Things That Ruin Your Life
- Narrated by: Daniel Sloss
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wish list failed.
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Buy Now for $20.40
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Publisher's Summary
One of this generation's hottest and boldest young comedians presents a transgressive and hilarious analysis of all of our dysfunctional relationships, and attempts to point us in the vague direction of sanity.
Daniel Sloss' stand-up comedy engages, enrages, offends, unsettles, educates, comforts, and gets audiences roaring with laughter - all at the same time. In his groundbreaking specials, seen on Netflix and HBO, he has brilliantly tackled everything from male toxicity and friendship to love, romance, and marriage - and claims (with the data to back it up) that his on-stage laser-like dissection of relationships has single-handedly caused more than 300 divorces and 120,000 breakups.
Now, in his first book, he picks up where his specials left off, and goes after every conceivable kind of relationship - with one's country (Sloss' is Scotland); with America; with lovers, ex-lovers, ex-lovers who you hate, ex-lovers who hate you; with parents; with best friends (male and female), not-best friends; with children; with siblings; and even with the global pandemic and our own mortality. In Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die, every human connection gets the brutally funny (and unfailingly incisive) Sloss treatment as he illuminates the ways in which all of our relationships are fragile and ridiculous and awful - but also valuable and meaningful and important.
You may also enjoy...
-
Comedy Sex God
- Written by: Pete Holmes
- Narrated by: Pete Holmes
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Part autobiography, part philosophical inquiry, part sacred quest - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck for the spiritual seeker - a hilarious, profound, and enlightening romp around the fertile mind of standout stand-up comedian, host of the hugely successful podcast You Made It Weird, and star of HBO’s Crashing Pete Holmes.
-
-
Starts amazing, ends ok
- By Andrew on 2019-05-28
Written by: Pete Holmes
-
Girl Walks into a Bar...
- Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle
- Written by: Rachel Dratch
- Narrated by: Rachel Dratch
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Anyone who saw an episode of Saturday Night Live between 1999 and 2006 knows Rachel Dratch. She was hilarious! So what happened to her? After a misbegotten part as Jenna on the pilot of 30 Rock, Dratch was only getting offered roles as "Lesbians. Secretaries. Sometimes secretaries who are lesbians." Her career at a low point, Dratch suddenly had time for yoga, dog- sitting, learning Spanish - and dating. After all, what did a forty-something single woman living in New York have to lose?
-
-
Really loved it
- By pennmani on 2019-11-13
Written by: Rachel Dratch
-
I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
- Essays
- Written by: Tom Segura
- Narrated by: Tom Segura
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
-
-
I came up in May
- By garrett press on 2022-07-05
Written by: Tom Segura
-
Strong Female Character
- Written by: Fern Brady
- Narrated by: Fern Brady
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Scottish comedian Fern Brady was told she couldn't be autistic because she'd had loads of boyfriends and is good at eye contact. In this frank and surreal memoir, she delivers a sharp and often hilarious portrait of neurodivergence and living unmasked.
-
-
“i realized there were more than one of us”
- By A. on 2024-10-01
Written by: Fern Brady
-
So, Anyway...
- Written by: John Cleese
- Narrated by: John Cleese
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The legendary writer and performer of Monty Python and Fawlty Towers fame takes listeners on a grand tour of his ascent in the entertainment world John Cleese’s huge comedic influence has stretched across generations; his sharp irreverent eye and the unique brand of physical comedy he perfected now seem written into comedy’s DNA. In this rollicking memoir, Cleese recalls his humble beginnings in a sleepy English town, his early comedic days at Cambridge University (with future Python partner Graham Chapman), and the founding of the landmark comedy troupe.
-
-
excellent, as expected.
- By Zenith VCR on 2019-11-13
Written by: John Cleese
-
We're All in This Together . . .
- So Make Some Room
- Written by: Tom Papa
- Narrated by: Tom Papa
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Stand-up is all well and good, but observational humor that’s funny and warm may work best in books. And Tom Papa, whose loyal audiences are packed with “date night” couples of all ages, has perfected the form. In We're All In This Together, Papa’s thirty-seven short essays tackle these universal American topics,
-
-
Funny and heartfelt
- By Veronica on 2024-10-21
Written by: Tom Papa
-
Comedy Sex God
- Written by: Pete Holmes
- Narrated by: Pete Holmes
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Part autobiography, part philosophical inquiry, part sacred quest - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck for the spiritual seeker - a hilarious, profound, and enlightening romp around the fertile mind of standout stand-up comedian, host of the hugely successful podcast You Made It Weird, and star of HBO’s Crashing Pete Holmes.
-
-
Starts amazing, ends ok
- By Andrew on 2019-05-28
Written by: Pete Holmes
-
Girl Walks into a Bar...
- Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle
- Written by: Rachel Dratch
- Narrated by: Rachel Dratch
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Anyone who saw an episode of Saturday Night Live between 1999 and 2006 knows Rachel Dratch. She was hilarious! So what happened to her? After a misbegotten part as Jenna on the pilot of 30 Rock, Dratch was only getting offered roles as "Lesbians. Secretaries. Sometimes secretaries who are lesbians." Her career at a low point, Dratch suddenly had time for yoga, dog- sitting, learning Spanish - and dating. After all, what did a forty-something single woman living in New York have to lose?
-
-
Really loved it
- By pennmani on 2019-11-13
Written by: Rachel Dratch
-
I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
- Essays
- Written by: Tom Segura
- Narrated by: Tom Segura
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
-
-
I came up in May
- By garrett press on 2022-07-05
Written by: Tom Segura
-
Strong Female Character
- Written by: Fern Brady
- Narrated by: Fern Brady
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Scottish comedian Fern Brady was told she couldn't be autistic because she'd had loads of boyfriends and is good at eye contact. In this frank and surreal memoir, she delivers a sharp and often hilarious portrait of neurodivergence and living unmasked.
-
-
“i realized there were more than one of us”
- By A. on 2024-10-01
Written by: Fern Brady
-
So, Anyway...
- Written by: John Cleese
- Narrated by: John Cleese
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The legendary writer and performer of Monty Python and Fawlty Towers fame takes listeners on a grand tour of his ascent in the entertainment world John Cleese’s huge comedic influence has stretched across generations; his sharp irreverent eye and the unique brand of physical comedy he perfected now seem written into comedy’s DNA. In this rollicking memoir, Cleese recalls his humble beginnings in a sleepy English town, his early comedic days at Cambridge University (with future Python partner Graham Chapman), and the founding of the landmark comedy troupe.
-
-
excellent, as expected.
- By Zenith VCR on 2019-11-13
Written by: John Cleese
-
We're All in This Together . . .
- So Make Some Room
- Written by: Tom Papa
- Narrated by: Tom Papa
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Stand-up is all well and good, but observational humor that’s funny and warm may work best in books. And Tom Papa, whose loyal audiences are packed with “date night” couples of all ages, has perfected the form. In We're All In This Together, Papa’s thirty-seven short essays tackle these universal American topics,
-
-
Funny and heartfelt
- By Veronica on 2024-10-21
Written by: Tom Papa
What the critics say
“This is the Pandora's Box of self-help books.” (Conan O'Brien)
“He tells jokes that are transgressive, that are shocking, that are dark enough to emphasize that he’s not some kind of pious, soggy, joyless hector.” (Sophie Gilbert, The Atlantic)
“Sloss uses comedy as a means to not only make his fans laugh but also to raise critical questions about the way we act.” (Christina Zhao, Newsweek)
What listeners say about Everyone You Hate Is Going to Die
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anonymous User
- 2021-10-17
Loved it
I'm a huge fan of Daniel Sloss' stand up comedy, and this book did not disappoint. I will probably listen to it again.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kat Hrabowsky
- 2021-10-13
AMAZING!!
Love Sloss's comedy and this book was such a great listen. Would recommend 100% and will be enjoyed by all!!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 2021-10-19
BRUTALLY HONEST....PURELY BRILLIANT!
So truly brilliant that after the 1st chapter you can't wait to finish the book and start again!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Nathan Smith
- 2023-02-03
Great hilarious dark uplifting book.
Loved the author reading his own book and his footnotes.
Great hilarious dark uplifting book.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anonymous User
- 2021-10-24
This book could be $100+ and i’d still buy it.
It’s like one wonderfully long stand up special/ted talk. The man is h i l a r i o u s. I had strangers staring at me in public because I was in tears laughing. I’m already on my second listen because I really want to let his perspective resonate. Daniel Sloss is an incredibly witty and insightful comedian whose perspective on life and relationships is refreshing in the same way having freezing water thrown in your face when your hungover is refreshing. You feel bombarded and personally attacked but it worked - you’re refreshed. As a 22yo who has very little figured out, i’m so grateful to have heard this perspective on relationships and I will be recommending this book to everyone. Brilliant.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Super Kitty
- 2022-03-04
Laughed me fool head off!
Great narration and lots of silly bits. Got to let go of any political baggage and enjoy. Play on Daniel!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jake Wood
- 2022-01-09
Add another notch to the breakup/ divorce count.
Bud, mate, Dan, I know that you’ll probably never read this, but eh, what hell.
Side note, you’re a cunt and I want to hate you, you beautifully vicious man.
Your Jigsaw set made me question it my relationship and end it, this book Reinforced my decision and pulled me out of that darkness that follows.
I couldn’t have been shown your work at a better time, your work pulled me out of the darkest times of my life and this book helped stand me up the rest of the way.
Thank you.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Tina Gervais
- 2023-09-28
So funny
Absolutely needed this!! Made me laugh out loud often when I had my EarPods in…totally looked like a fool!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Sophie K.
- 2023-12-10
Brilliant
If you love intelligent, poignant, honest, abusive, realistic comedy, and the word c**t, this is for you. The audio book is a must. No one could narrate this but Daniel Sloss. Brilliant book. Hilarious and sweet.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amanda Wickens
- 2021-11-03
I need more!
Daniel you are amazing and I am thrilled that you are happy in life. This is such a great book, I laughed, I cried and I thought deeply. My only complaint is that I wanted more!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!