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Hollywood Park

A Memoir

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Hollywood Park

Written by: Mikel Jollett
Narrated by: Mikel Jollett
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About this listen

This program is read by the author and includes original music from the Airborne Toxic Event album Hollywood Park.

Hollywood Park is a remarkable memoir of a tumultuous life. Mikel Jollett was born into one of the country’s most infamous cults and subjected to a childhood filled with poverty, addiction, and emotional abuse. Yet, ultimately, his is a story of fierce love and family loyalty told in a raw, poetic voice that signals the emergence of a uniquely gifted writer.

We were never young. We were just too afraid of ourselves. No one told us who we were or what we were or where all our parents went. They would arrive like ghosts, visiting us for a morning, an afternoon. They would sit with us or walk around the grounds, to laugh or cry or toss us in the air while we screamed. Then they’d disappear again, for weeks, for months, for years, leaving us alone with our memories and dreams, our questions and confusion.

So begins Hollywood Park, Mikel Jollett’s remarkable memoir. His story opens in an experimental commune in California, which later morphed into the Church of Synanon, one of the country’s most infamous and dangerous cults. Per the leader’s mandate, all children, including Jollett and his older brother, were separated from their parents when they were six months old, and handed over to the cult’s “School.” After spending years in what was essentially an orphanage, Mikel escaped the cult one morning with his mother and older brother. But in many ways, life outside Synanon was even harder and more erratic.

In his raw, poetic and powerful voice, Jollett portrays a childhood filled with abject poverty, trauma, emotional abuse, delinquency and the lure of drugs and alcohol. Raised by a clinically depressed mother, tormented by his angry older brother, subjected to the unpredictability of troubled step-fathers and longing for contact with his father, a former heroin addict and ex-con, Jollett slowly, often painfully, builds a life that leads him to Stanford University and, eventually, to finding his voice as a writer and musician.

Hollywood Park is told at first through the limited perspective of a child, and then broadens as Jollett begins to understand the world around him. Although Mikel Jollett’s story is filled with heartbreak, it is ultimately an unforgettable portrayal of love at its fiercest and most loyal.

Amazon.com Best Books of the Year - 2020

Esquire Magazine Best Books of the Year - 2020

A Macmillan Audio production from Celadon Books

Praise for Hollywood Park:

"Musician Mikel Jollett is the tender voice of this harrowing memoir of a tumultuous coming-of-age.... Listeners will hang on every word, especially in the early chapters, which take place during his childhood. Jollett is very giving as he presses on in a raspy voice, sharing details of poverty, deprivation and drugs. Fans of his music will appreciate the short bursts at the beginnings and ends of chapters. The musical interludes soften the harsh realities he recounts as listeners celebrate his resilience." (Audiofile Magazine)

"Mikel Jollett, the front man of indie band Airborne Toxic Event, chronicles his tumultuous life.... What comes through the pages is a story of fierce love and family loyalty. This moving and profound memoir is for anyone who loves a good redemption story." (Good Morning America, 20 Books We're Excited for in 2020)

"The frontman of rock band Airborne Toxic Event chronicles, in gorgeous and exacting lyricism, his harrowing coming-of-age within (and eventual escape from) the Church of Synanon, a violent religious cult." (O, The Oprah Magazine, The 30 Most Anticipated Books of 2020 (So Far)

©2020 Mikel Jollett (P)2020 Macmillan Audio
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What the critics say

"Musician Mikel Jollett is the tender voice of this harrowing memoir of a tumultuous coming-of-age.... Listeners will hang on every word, especially in the early chapters, which take place during his childhood. Jollett is very giving as he presses on in a raspy voice, sharing details of poverty, deprivation and drugs. Fans of his music will appreciate the short bursts at the beginnings and ends of chapters. The musical interludes soften the harsh realities he recounts as listeners celebrate his resilience." (AudioFile Magazine)

What listeners say about Hollywood Park

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A Week with Mikell

We have always been Airborne fans, I have always known there was something extra special about Mikell but it wasn’t until going to last weekend’s concert and then listening to him read Hollywood Park all week that I realized how and why this artist has so much to give us. Listen to his music, read his lyrics, and then, when you’ve taken it all in, have him read you the story behind his art.

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Profound and poetic

What a surprise this book was. The words that come to my mind are heartbreak and love, struggle and courage, hard work and reward … and poetry, such poetry. What a brave and insightful journey this story, this life … of Mikel Jollett ❤️

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Just amazing

It was so hard to put this down, but I stopped myself from full on bingeing so I could enjoy it over a few days.

I’m huge fan of his band, but it’s a story anyone can enjoy.

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Realness is the spark of joy, kernel to protect

I grew up in a subculture and this hid my parents abuse. No cult, just how abuse unfolds in the dysfunctional family model when perfection is asked of babies of musicians/artists/activist type communities. The story Jollett tells is the other side of the lake from mine. Coded female. Scapegoat. Not taught self protection, open for monsters, closed to safety, not even knowing what safety feels like until hitting early 40's. We're around the same age, I can tell from music and clothing references. The same musicians informing our struggles. Me, defined by a fake learning disorder my mother manifested so I could be her sad story. His, so similar to my sister, of being the very good child. I adored the compassionate inquiry. The guilt of being a terrible partner. I was a terrible partner too. How could we learn how to love properly? We came from deep unsafety. I loved this book. He told the story in such a beautiful way. I was lost in it as I used to be lost in books, lost in my head-castle. I didn't want his good enough parent lost and wept. I never had a good enough parent. Just two people wrapped in themselves. Two people who injured us, failed to protect us, who let their ideology piss on us as growing weeds. 5 children, one dead, one - me -hurled to the street at 15.No den, just wolves. I'm no longer on fire with anger. Learning how to let it be there and live my new, good, safe life. This story is how recovery can actually be told. Conflicting truths. Authenticity. Listen to it. There are nowhere people who hate what jobs take from us, who have no family or family that is more the energy we put into our friends. We are still joyful and curious. We exist, even though we keep having to remind ourselves that we do because narcissism in caregivers broke the mirror.

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