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  • How to Be an Adult in Love

  • Letting Love in Safely and Showing It Recklessly
  • Written by: David Richo
  • Narrated by: Tom Pile
  • Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (29 ratings)

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How to Be an Adult in Love

Written by: David Richo
Narrated by: Tom Pile
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Publisher's Summary

"Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this audiobook, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships - one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts - what Richo calls the five A's - form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

©2013 David Richo (P)2014 Audible Inc.
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What listeners say about How to Be an Adult in Love

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    3 out of 5 stars

Intro. to loving mindfully.

David Richo tends to build on existing theories of mindfulness and cognitive behavioural therapy without actually acknowledging it. As I try to practice mindful living and cognitive behavioural therapy it was possible for me to pick up on the references and significance.

The book will be of tremendous value to anyone seeking to build on their existing mindful living practisies. However, will not recommend to anyone who is still a novice or just getting started with mindful living practices and cognitive behavioural therapy. Will highly recommended Dr. David Burn’s Intimate Connections as a helpful pre-requisite.

Don’t get me wrong. Learned a lot. Already starting to apply the principals to my daily life. An excellent book.

Also, will advice caution for anyone with a trauma history as parts of it can be very dense, thought invoking and triggering past memories.

#Audible1

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

LONG, SLOW, Drawn-out Discourse on Mindful Kindness

This is a LONG and very, VERY SLOW audiobook.

I normally have my audiobooks a little faster than the recording speed, but this one I consistently had at 1.7X or 2.0x and found myself just wanting to get through.

No doubt there is some value here, but I think they could have cut it by a full 2/3rd.

If you’re trying to deal with narcissistic tendencies, the mere act of getting through the material is an achievement on its own. And maybe that’s partly the intent of the author: it’s truly an effort to put aside one’s ego to complete the book - succeed at this and there is real hope for the most highly narcissistic.

The 5 A’s - Attention, Allowance, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection - is an interesting concept I learned.

But would have to say this read is targeted toward someone with the time and intent for a deep, slow dive into the subject.

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    2 out of 5 stars
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Couldn’t finish

Too laborious to listen too, vapid message and boring and pretentious presentation. Couldn’t stay with it long enough to make the connection.

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