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How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes

Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting - from Tots to Teens

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How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes

Written by: Melinda Wenner Moyer
Narrated by: Melinda Wenner Moyer
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About this listen

How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a clear, actionable, sometimes humorous (but always science-based) guide for parents on how to shape their kids into honest, kind, generous, confident, independent, and resilient people...who just might save the world one day.

As an award-winning science journalist, Melinda Wenner Moyer was regularly asked to investigate and address all kinds of parenting questions: how to potty train, when and whether to get vaccines, and how to help kids sleep through the night. But as Melinda's children grew, she found that one huge area was ignored in the realm of parenting advice: How do we make sure our kids don't grow up to be assholes?

On social media, in the news, and from the highest levels of government, kids are increasingly getting the message that being selfish, obnoxious, and cruel is okay. Hate crimes among children and teens are rising, while compassion among teens has been dropping. We know, of course, that young people have the capacity for great empathy, resilience, and action, and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow. But how do we actually do this? How do we raise children who are kind, considerate, and ethical inside and outside the home, who will grow into adults committed to making the world a better place?

How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a deeply researched, evidence-based primer that provides a fresh, often surprising perspective on parenting issues, from toddlerhood through the teenage years. First, Melinda outlines the traits we want our children to possess - including honesty, generosity, and antiracism - and then she provides scientifically based strategies that will help parents instill those characteristics in their kids. Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with - and who just might save the world.

©2021 Melinda Wenner Moyer (P)2021 Penguin Audio
Relationships Teenagers Resilience Witty Parenting Teens
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What the critics say

“This science-based, funny, easy-to-use guidebook with specific strategies to help parents raise great kids should be on everyone's list.” (Zibby Owens, Good Morning America)

“In her new book How to Raise Kids Who Aren't A**holes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting - from Tots to Teens, science journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer…looks at research on gunplay, screen time, shyness, resilience and more, helping parents effectively send the message that kindness matters.” (CNN.com)

“I can’t think of a more important life lesson than ‘don’t be an asshole’. Unfortunately, many kids don’t learn it - because many parents fail to teach it. Thanks to this book, they no longer have an excuse. It’s a smart, engaging, honest, and surprisingly useful read about how to nurture decency and generosity.” (Adam Grant, number one New York Times best-selling author of Thing Again)

What listeners say about How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes

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Great coverage of topics

This is a very relevant book for parents to learn the science behind being raising a good citizen (and not a sociopath). I do wish the author wrote this 10 years ago for me, as a lot of lessons are for the toddler and preschool years, but there was a lot for me to learn for raising my 10 year old.

With the author being a science journalist , I appreciated the authors skill in:

- Quoting the science behind the topic and then relating to us with a number of personal stories
- Devoting a reasonable amount of time to each chapter and ending with a list of key points to keep notes
- Choosing relevant topics that drill down to societal issues we see all around us (I.e. racism, sexism, apathy)

Overall, it is a well researched and relatable audiobook.

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2 people found this helpful

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not my favorite

i was not a fan of this book. i would not recommend this to a friend

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

I will listen to this again.

I really like how she backed up her thought with theory and evidence. Even if she it still had personal opinion, it was all very relevant as a parent.

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Parenting guidance

This book fantastically reviews the current literature and breaks down the key issues parents struggle with. She then puts the chapter into steps to follow. A must read for parents of young and older children!

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Fantastic

Loved it! I got to the end and restarted the book. Easy to follow. Found each suggestion clearly laid out.

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1 person found this helpful

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New world parenting.

I didn’t mind all the research papers and examples in this book, but slamming donald trump and encouraging parents to use non binary terms with their kids is not for me.

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8 people found this helpful

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Very Biased Writing

Anecdotes seem made up. A 4 year old kid is asked if they will share some candy and they say “Didn’t I just give you some 4 months ago?” and another 3 year old girl is jealous about her brother’s birthday and says “Why isn’t it all about ME?” – Anyone with kids knows that these kids didn’t actually say these things! Kids say enough funny things that you don’t need to fabricate interactions, it just seems disingenuous. If you don’t have quotes that make your point you don’t just invent them.

The book is really mom-focused and speaks directly to moms, after clinging to old tropes about how dads don’t know much about what’s going on and take a sidekick role in parenting. This book would have you believe that mom is always #1 when as a society I would think that we are past this.

“Girls are told that they aren’t allowed to share their emotions, that they need to hold it all in, while boys are encouraged to share theirs”. REALLY? I call BS on that, girls are frequently emotional and boys are told to suck it up, don’t be a baby, etc. The author takes the stance that society lets boys be themselves and suppresses girls when the exact opposite is often true. Boys have their emotions and behavior controlled just as much as girls do but it's no surprise that this female author writes from a female perspective and places females as the victims of society. Things are hard for everyone and boys are quickly falling behind in our culture, but not according to Melinda Wenner Moyer. She has a really clear bias in her writing and panders to her perceived audience at the expense of the equality she claims to strive for.

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Smug, woke political nonsense.

I'll save you from reading it. Summary: Donald Trump bad. Clinton good. Difference between boys and girls bad, non binary good. All delivered with a smug entitled voice of someone that thinks they are better than you, enjoy lol

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this was not at all what I thought it would be

hard to listen to I hate that I spent any money on this book. it speaks alot about not choosing a gender and I support being who you want to be but that's just not what I thought this book would be about.

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