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  • Insecure in Love

  • How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It
  • Written by: Leslie Becker-Phelps PhD
  • Narrated by: Susan Boyce
  • Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (58 ratings)

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Insecure in Love cover art

Insecure in Love

Written by: Leslie Becker-Phelps PhD
Narrated by: Susan Boyce
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Publisher's Summary

Has your romantic partner called you clingy, insecure, desperate, or jealous? No one wants to admit that they possess these qualities, but if you find yourself constantly on the alert, anxious, or worried when it comes to your significant other, you may suffer from anxious attachment, a fear of abandonment that is often rooted in early childhood experiences.

In Insecure in Love, you'll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing way - rather than beating yourself up. You'll also learn how insecurity can negatively affect healthy dialogue between you and your partner (or potential partners) and develop the skills needed to stop you from reverting back to old patterns of neediness and possessiveness.

©2014 Leslie Becker-Phelps (P)2015 Tantor

What the critics say

"A godsend for those who unknowingly bring a lot of angst into a relationship." ( Library Journal)

What listeners say about Insecure in Love

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A Must-Listen!

This book does a great job of explaining attachment styles in-depth, where they stem from, how they impact our relationships in adulthood and what can be done to have healthier relationships in our lives. By cultivating this strong awareness of self and others in a new light, it's possible to have stronger relationships with ourselves, our partners, and even friends and family. Highly recommend.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

This should be required reading for everyone.

Lots of useful information on how different people behave in relationships. Very useful to understand attachment anxiety in yourself or others.
Narration in the audio book was a little annoying because you could hear them drink tea or something. But still worthwhile.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • MSP
  • 2021-01-14

Excellent Book, Very Relatable

This book is extremely helpful and very relatable. I found it tremendously helpful for my anxiety, depression and figuring out my attachment style. This gave me tools to open up my thinking and also topics to further discuss in therapy.

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1 person found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

stop swallow

The reader kept swallowing really hard. it lessened the experience. it was a very ucky sound and it made me want to stop listening many times during the audio book.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Amazing book on Relationship Attachment styles

I was recommended this book by my Therapist to assist me with understanding my attachment style, why I react/act in certain ways, how or what to expect, can expect, "allowed" to expect from relationships. It helped me with this and more. It provides great practical examples, exercises and tools to move into more healthy ways. Easy to understand. Will definitely re-listen more than twice and refer to help me if going through tough times in relationships, or general.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Gem of a Book on Anxious Attachment Style

It’s a gem of a book on attachment theory-right up there with ‘Attached’ that I loved so much. I found much of the advice geared towards people with Anxious attachment style and that’s exactly what I needed. There are some beautiful portions on developing self compassion, self love, mindfulness techniques, the importance of forgiveness and moving on, when to break up, how to argue and handle conflicts in intimate relationships; the psychological and childhood reasons behind certain attachment styles; how to identify and stay away from avoidant people; how and why we should choose nice, boring guys instead of the exciting but unavailable ones or the ones that the world thinks is the prize catch; the necessity of having a support network & varied interests instead of clinging to one false Prince Charming desperately for dear life and exercises to help develop your self esteem and self compassion. I gained a lot of insight into my psyche and the inner landscapes of many other people I know - making me understand in detail why we behave the way we behave. Much of the information here can be found in other attachment theory books that I have read through Audible, but it is explained here in a lot of nuanced detail and dealt with in a sensitive manner. I just wish I had read this book 20 years ago and followed the advice at that age. My life wouldn’t be such a mess then. I use some of the advice shared here in other, more professional walks of life to great benefit.
I purchased the hard copy of this book so that I can highlight certain portions and keep it for my personal library…it’s that good and beneficial for me. I would definitely recommend this book - ‘Insecure in Love’ and ‘Attached’ if you want to break out of some very negative, life destroying patterns of always falling for the unavailable guys who leave you broken, damaged and traumatised for life.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • E
  • 2020-06-15

Narrator is painful

Teaches you about attachment styles & gives some good relationship advice if you can get past the narrator. (She sounds like Siri)

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7 people found this helpful