It Didn't Start with You
How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wish list failed.
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo first 3 months
Buy Now for $23.31
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Mark Wolynn
-
Written by:
-
Mark Wolynn
About this listen
A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field.
Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experiences or in chemical imbalances in our brains - but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited: that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations.
It Didn't Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.
As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over 20 years. It Didn't Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn't Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that, in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2016 Mark Wolynn (P)2016 Penguin AudioYou may also enjoy...
-
The Body Keeps the Score
- Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
- Written by: Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 16 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
-
-
incredibly triggering
- By MMRR on 2021-11-27
Written by: Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
-
When the Body Says No
- The Cost of Hidden Stress
- Written by: Gabor Maté MD
- Narrated by: Daniel Maté
- Length: 11 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this accessible and groundbreaking book—filled with the moving stories of real people—medical doctor and bestselling author Gabor Maté shows that emotion and psychological stress play a powerful role in the onset of chronic illness, including breast cancer, prostate cancer, multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer's disease and many others. An international bestseller translated into over thirty languages, When the Body Says No promotes learning and healing, providing transformative insights into how illness can be the body's way of saying no to what the mind cannot or will not acknowledge.
-
-
New Insight into My Life
- By Lauren on 2021-06-12
Written by: Gabor Maté MD
-
Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents
- Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy
- Written by: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
-
-
Big Help
- By Amazon Customer on 2020-10-04
Written by: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
-
What Happened to You?
- Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
- Written by: Oprah Winfrey, Bruce D. Perry
- Narrated by: Bruce D. Perry, Oprah Winfrey
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question. Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”
-
-
Let me save you the time
- By Jacob Melville on 2021-05-16
Written by: Oprah Winfrey, and others
-
No Bad Parts
- Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model
- Written by: Richard C. Schwartz PhD, Alanis Morissette - foreword introduction
- Narrated by: Charlie Mechling
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dr. Schwartz’s Internal Family Systems (IFS) model has been transforming psychology for decades. With No Bad Parts, you’ll learn why IFS has been so effective in areas such as trauma recovery, addiction therapy, and depression treatment - and how this new understanding of consciousness has the potential to radically change our lives.
-
-
Blend of psychology and irritating politics
- By Azamon Customer on 2022-07-05
Written by: Richard C. Schwartz PhD, and others
-
How to Do the Work
- Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self
- Written by: Dr. Nicole LePera
- Narrated by: Courtney Patterson
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a clinical psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera often found herself frustrated by the limitations of traditional psychotherapy. Wanting more for her patients—and for herself—she began a journey to develop a united philosophy of mental, physical and spiritual wellness that equips people with the interdisciplinary tools necessary to heal themselves. After experiencing the life-changing results herself, she began to share what she'd learned with others—and soon "The Holistic Psychologist" was born. Now, Dr. LePera is ready to share her much-requested protocol with the world.
-
-
Don’t buy if you are anti-diet / have ED
- By ember on 2022-04-07
Written by: Dr. Nicole LePera
-
The Body Keeps the Score
- Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
- Written by: Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 16 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
-
-
incredibly triggering
- By MMRR on 2021-11-27
Written by: Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
-
When the Body Says No
- The Cost of Hidden Stress
- Written by: Gabor Maté MD
- Narrated by: Daniel Maté
- Length: 11 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this accessible and groundbreaking book—filled with the moving stories of real people—medical doctor and bestselling author Gabor Maté shows that emotion and psychological stress play a powerful role in the onset of chronic illness, including breast cancer, prostate cancer, multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer's disease and many others. An international bestseller translated into over thirty languages, When the Body Says No promotes learning and healing, providing transformative insights into how illness can be the body's way of saying no to what the mind cannot or will not acknowledge.
-
-
New Insight into My Life
- By Lauren on 2021-06-12
Written by: Gabor Maté MD
-
Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents
- Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy
- Written by: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
-
-
Big Help
- By Amazon Customer on 2020-10-04
Written by: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
-
What Happened to You?
- Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
- Written by: Oprah Winfrey, Bruce D. Perry
- Narrated by: Bruce D. Perry, Oprah Winfrey
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question. Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”
-
-
Let me save you the time
- By Jacob Melville on 2021-05-16
Written by: Oprah Winfrey, and others
-
No Bad Parts
- Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model
- Written by: Richard C. Schwartz PhD, Alanis Morissette - foreword introduction
- Narrated by: Charlie Mechling
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dr. Schwartz’s Internal Family Systems (IFS) model has been transforming psychology for decades. With No Bad Parts, you’ll learn why IFS has been so effective in areas such as trauma recovery, addiction therapy, and depression treatment - and how this new understanding of consciousness has the potential to radically change our lives.
-
-
Blend of psychology and irritating politics
- By Azamon Customer on 2022-07-05
Written by: Richard C. Schwartz PhD, and others
-
How to Do the Work
- Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self
- Written by: Dr. Nicole LePera
- Narrated by: Courtney Patterson
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As a clinical psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera often found herself frustrated by the limitations of traditional psychotherapy. Wanting more for her patients—and for herself—she began a journey to develop a united philosophy of mental, physical and spiritual wellness that equips people with the interdisciplinary tools necessary to heal themselves. After experiencing the life-changing results herself, she began to share what she'd learned with others—and soon "The Holistic Psychologist" was born. Now, Dr. LePera is ready to share her much-requested protocol with the world.
-
-
Don’t buy if you are anti-diet / have ED
- By ember on 2022-04-07
Written by: Dr. Nicole LePera
-
What My Bones Know
- A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
- Written by: Stephanie Foo
- Narrated by: Stephanie Foo
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
By age thirty, Stephanie Foo was successful on paper: She had her dream job as an award-winning radio producer at This American Life and a loving boyfriend. But behind her office door, she was having panic attacks and sobbing at her desk every morning. After years of questioning what was wrong with herself, she was diagnosed with complex PTSD—a condition that occurs when trauma happens continuously, over the course of years.
-
-
This book should come with a trigger warning
- By Martie on 2023-02-01
Written by: Stephanie Foo
-
Hold On to Your Kids
- Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers
- Written by: Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Maté MD
- Narrated by: Gabor Maté MD, Daniel Maté
- Length: 14 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Dr. Neufeld and Dr. Maté explore the phenomenon of peer orientation: the troubling tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction—for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behavior. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; it is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids.
-
-
long winded and heavy on theory
- By Matt Santiso on 2021-05-22
Written by: Gordon Neufeld, and others
-
How to Be the Love You Seek
- Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships
- Written by: Dr. Nicole LePera
- Narrated by: Courtney Patterson
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Relationships have always been essential to human survival. Our bodies and brains are programmed to seek out connection, whether familial, romantic, or platonic. And yet, these vital bonds are often at the root of our deepest suffering. While our hearts are primed for compassionate connection, our nervous systems—which store all our past hurts and disappointments—are wired for threat and negativity.
-
-
Conditioned behaviours and how to fix them
- By Tracy C on 2023-12-12
Written by: Dr. Nicole LePera
-
The Mountain Is You
- Transforming Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery
- Written by: Brianna Wiest
- Narrated by: Stacey Glemboski
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Coexisting but conflicting needs create self-sabotaging behaviors. This is why we resist efforts to change, often until they feel completely futile. But by extracting crucial insight from our most damaging habits, building emotional intelligence by better understanding our brains and bodies, releasing past experiences at a cellular level, and learning to act as our highest potential future selves, we can step out of our own way and into our potential.
-
-
Perfect!!!!
- By Anonymous User on 2022-10-05
Written by: Brianna Wiest
-
Reparenting Your Wounded Inner Child
- Explore Childhood and Generational Trauma to Break Destructive Patterns, Build Emotional Strength, and Achieve Personal Growth with 7 Empowering Steps (Heal, Grow, & Thrive)
- Written by: Leigh W. Hart
- Narrated by: Carolynne Nola
- Length: 4 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Looking at your childhood with the compassionate eyes of a mature and conscious adult, you can recognize where you needed something more. With the help of this guide, you don’t have to wonder if you’ll ever get over the bad experiences of the past or ever be free of their hold on you. Every single exercise, reflection, or action you take as you listen to this book will help create positive shifts in your life that will have beneficial ripple effects echoing constructively on every level of your world.
Written by: Leigh W. Hart
-
In an Unspoken Voice
- How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness
- Written by: Peter A. Levine, Gabor Maté - foreword M.D.
- Narrated by: Ed Nash
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this culmination of his life’s work, Peter A. Levine draws on his broad experience as a clinician, a student of comparative brain research, a stress scientist and a keen observer of the naturalistic animal world to explain the nature and transformation of trauma in the body, brain and psyche. In an Unspoken Voice is based on the idea that trauma is neither a disease nor a disorder, but rather an injury caused by fright, helplessness and loss that can be healed by engaging our innate capacity to self-regulate high states of arousal and intense emotions.
-
-
One of the most important books to read
- By Andrew on 2022-08-14
Written by: Peter A. Levine, and others
-
Atlas of the Heart
- Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience
- Written by: Brené Brown
- Narrated by: Brené Brown
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Atlas of the Heart, Brown takes us on a journey through 87 of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human. As she maps the necessary skills and an actionable framework for meaningful connection, she gives us the language and tools to access a universe of new choices and second chances - a universe where we can share and steward the stories of our bravest and most heartbreaking moments with one another in a way that builds connection.
-
-
Finding it Ironic
- By Amazon Customer on 2022-03-06
Written by: Brené Brown
-
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts
- Close Encounters with Addiction
- Written by: Gabor Maté MD
- Narrated by: Daniel Maté
- Length: 16 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this timely and profoundly original book, best-selling writer and physician Gabor Maté looks at the epidemic of addictions in our society, tells us why we are so prone to them, and what is needed to liberate ourselves from their hold on our emotions and behaviours.
-
-
My mentor Gabor Maté
- By tommy manseau on 2018-10-22
Written by: Gabor Maté MD
-
Born for Love
- Why Empathy Is Essential - and Endangered
- Written by: Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz
- Narrated by: Corey M. Snow
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection - a bond made possible by empathy, the remarkable ability to love and to share the feelings of others. In this unforgettable book, award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz and renowned child psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry explain how empathy develops, why it is essential both to human happiness and for a functional society, and how it is threatened in a modern world.
-
-
"Born for Love: A Profound Exploration of the Transformative Power of Love" - A Thought-Provoking and Essential Read
- By Anonymous User on 2023-12-23
Written by: Bruce D. Perry, and others
-
Set Boundaries, Find Peace
- A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself
- Written by: Nedra Glover Tawwab
- Narrated by: Nedra Glover Tawwab
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Healthy boundaries. We all know we should have them - in order to achieve work/life balance, cope with toxic people, and enjoy rewarding relationships with partners, friends, and family. But what do "healthy boundaries" really mean - and how can we successfully express our needs, say "no", and be assertive without offending others? Licensed counselor, sought-after relationship expert, and one of the most influential therapists on Instagram Nedra Glover Tawwab demystifies this complex topic for today's world.
-
-
Life changing!
- By md on 2021-03-25
Written by: Nedra Glover Tawwab
-
Mother Hunger
- How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance
- Written by: Kelly McDaniel
- Narrated by: Kelly McDaniel
- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
An insatiable need for sex and love. Periods of overeating or starving. A pattern of unstable and painful relationships. Does this sound painfully familiar? Trauma counselor Kelly McDaniel has seen these traits over and over in clients who feel trapped in cycles of harmful behaviors - and are unable to stop. Many of us find ourselves stuck in unhealthy habits simply because we don't see a better way. With Mother Hunger, McDaniel helps women break the cycle of destructive behavior by taking a fresh look at childhood trauma and its lasting impact.
-
-
Fairly helpful
- By Melissa Rivard on 2024-03-29
Written by: Kelly McDaniel
-
90 Seconds to a Life You Love
- How to Master Your Difficult Feelings to Cultivate Lasting Confidence, Resilience, and Authenticity
- Written by: Joan I. Rosenberg Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Joan I. Rosenberg Ph.D.
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, embarrassment, disappointment, frustration, and vulnerability. In 30 years as a practicing psychologist, Dr. Joan Rosenberg has found that what most often blocks people from success and feeling capable in life is the inability to experience, move through, and handle these eight unpleasant feelings. Knowing how to deal with intense, overwhelming, or uncomfortable feelings is essential to building confidence, emotional strength, and resilience.
-
-
90 seconds is a good title but it will take longer
- By joanna on 2019-07-14
Written by: Joan I. Rosenberg Ph.D.
What the critics say
What listeners say about It Didn't Start with You
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Saja Farhan
- 2022-06-27
Very interesting
I loved this book and learned so much from it. I think everyone needs to know this information presented in this book. Interesting and not boring and informative. I would definitely recommend.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- DL
- 2023-01-27
Great book!
Super insightful, a transformative look into how your yesterday can inform your today. A must read for those on a journey of healing.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 2021-10-04
Let the healing in
This book is full of amazing tools and insights. Saving you a life less fulfilling than could be.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kindle Customer
- 2023-01-12
Very deep and helpful
Listening to this book led to much deep reflection on patterns in my family and in my life . I embraced it fully and I have changed. I have made many notes and the process of my journey continues.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Elise Noël
- 2019-08-14
A must read
This book generates a lot of reflections, questions, and a lot of ah-ha moments. You will recognize people around you before recognizing yourself.... The old saying “I see her mother/father in her/in him” takes all its sense once we reflect on inter-generational events.
This book is not meant to be an excuse, or to give permission to put blame on others, but an attempt to understand the root cause of our own behaviours so we can deal with it. Be prepared to work on yourself and take your time going through the material.
May you find an answer to your questions.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Randy
- 2022-09-25
Great book
I kept getting sleepy while listening, but it's dense with great information. I highly recommend!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 2023-08-14
Thought provoking
Marks book so aligns with the principles in Internal Family Systems and the Legacy Burdens we are often unconscious of. Great listen!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kanina
- 2019-07-18
amazing book. it was so important for my healing.
well written and amazing. I was able to find my peace and end my anxiety. amazing. couldn't recommend it more ❤️
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Rainbow J.
- 2020-10-27
light at the end of the ptsd tunnel
I just started this book not long ago but i already find it helping. the accompanying PDF and doing the visualizations is key. highly recommended if you have mysterious intense childhood trauma and resulting unhealthy/disconnected behaviours. that's what I am working through! Thank you Mark Wolynn for writing this fantastic book!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Alex Zaharik
- 2022-08-27
Brilliant
Absolutely brilliant, Such a new and unique approach to trauma and healing. Highly recommend this book
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!