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Marry Him

The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

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Marry Him

Written by: Lori Gottlieb
Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
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About this listen

You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right?

But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it?

Suddenly finding herself 40 and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she, and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough.

Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good-enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point", to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned 40, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"?

That's where Marry Him comes in.

By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him, Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face - how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy - as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s.

Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

©2010 Lori Gottlieb (P)2021 Penguin Audio
Love & Romance Marriage Personal Success Romance
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What the critics say

"Marry Him is a frank and funny read, weaving real people's stories with Gottlieb's own experiences, and containing sharp examinations of how society and culture - everything from When Harry Met Sally to The Bachelor - come into play when modern women look for love." (The New York Observer)

"A provocative pop culture treatise...she encourages us to think through our own beliefs and unexamined assumptions." (The Chicago Tribune)

"Marry Him shows women how to find true happiness when seeking love - by giving them a new way to look at the world. Gottlieb manages to be hilarious yet thought-provoking, light-hearted yet profound on the questions of: Why do we fall in love? What qualities really matter in a marriage? For what reasons do we make the decisions that affect our whole lives? Like provocative relationship classics such as The Rules and He's Just Not That Into You, Marry Him will set people talking for years." (Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project)

What listeners say about Marry Him

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Get married - just settle

Depressing- stressful book- especially if you are a single woman… getting up there…. Kinda freaky - liked her other book much more ‘maybe you should talk to someone.’ Felt it was a bit more useful….

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A dose of cold hard truth

Every self actualized woman should read this book. It’s so true and the hard message is delivered in a factual well written manner. A must read for all the single ladies out there.

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A funny take on dating from Lori Gottlieb

This book is funny and I think it shares some truths! It offers insight into how women look for a partner that I'm sure many women would benefit from. However, I don't think this book is for everyone.

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Love love love!!

So interesting to listen to and so informative. I sent this recommendation to many people I know who would enjoy this book. I think many women who are struggling to find love and a long term partner could benefit from what they learn. I wish I had this to listen to years ago. I am with the man of my dreams now and many of the stories resonated with me. This book has a way of making you reflect on past choices and reevaluate how you approach dating if what you have been doing hasn’t been working.

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Enjoyable and true observations.

It was very enjoyable as I listened, I smile and keep on nodding at all the scenarios that was presented and what would happen before during and after these dates and age groups of women.

I am one of these women who has passed over many suitable but not perfect in my eyes men when I was a beauty in my prime.
Dating is definitely more difficult in your later years. Like picking from the seconds of a clothing sale or scraps from a buffet because you didn’t go right at opening time.
I wish I know this when I was in my early 20s. But yet, I was a rebel that didn’t want to be the norm... or perhaps I wanted to be. But Mr Right didn’t appear.... and present himself.

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Hooked

So fascinating and loved the insights definitely a worthy read for anyone curious about dating

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The title is the book

Not a bible but insightful, made me pause and reflect if I see my self in those girls. Being alone is not bad, nor is having a partner wrong. It is being alone and self sabotaging that is exhausting. Approaching the concept with less resentment is the key in a odd

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A highly enjoyable slap of Truth

I heard more than 50% of this book the same day I purchased it. I'm 26 and it still made me think "why did no one told me about this book earlier?".

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Uncomfortable Truths

While I can immediately recognize how triggering the unpopular opinions about women’s ridiculous standards will be for some, I’d like to acknowledge the legitimacy of these claims. There was more relatable truth and humbling slaps to the face in this book than most are looking for, I’m sure. Regardless, it was insightful, entertaining, well put and ultimately valuable. Those of you who like to cry ‘patriarchy’ & ‘masochism’ read with caution, you may not be ready to accept that women too, have our faults. Especially when it comes to our mindset, beliefs and attitudes towards dating, love, sex and men. Overall I’d recommend to a friend and would even listen again in time if I need a reminder.

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Realistic but hopeful

The examples were so true to life and real people’s thoughts when it comes to dating

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