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Missed Translations

Meeting the Immigrant Parents Who Raised Me

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Missed Translations

Written by: Sopan Deb
Narrated by: Sopan Deb, Sunil Malhotra
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About this listen

A bittersweet and humorous memoir of family - of the silence and ignorance that separate us, and the blood and stories that connect us - from an award-winning New York Times writer and comedian.

Approaching his 30th birthday, Sopan Deb had found comfort in his day job as a writer for the New York Times and a practicing comedian. But his stage material highlighting his South Asian culture only served to mask the insecurities borne from his family history. Sure, Deb knew the facts: His parents, both Indian, separately immigrated to North America in the 1960s and 1970s. They were brought together in a volatile and ultimately doomed arranged marriage and raised a family in suburban New Jersey before his father returned to India alone.

But Deb had never learned who his parents were as individuals - their ages, how many siblings they had, what they were like as children, what their favorite movies were. Theirs was an ostensibly nuclear family without any of the familial bonds. Coming of age in a mostly white suburban town, Deb’s alienation led him to seek separation from his family and his culture, longing for the tight-knit home environment of his white friends. His desire wasn’t rooted in racism or oppression; it was born of envy and desire - for white moms who made after-school snacks and asked his friends about the girls they liked and the teachers they didn’t. Deb yearned for the same.

Deb’s experiences as one of the few minorities covering the Trump campaign, and subsequently as a stand up comedian, propelled him on a dramatic journey to India to see his father - the first step in a life-altering journey to bridge the emotional distance separating him from those whose DNA he shared. Deb had to learn to connect with this man he recognized yet did not know - and eventually breach the silence separating him from his mother. As it beautifully and poignantly chronicles Deb’s odyssey, Missed Translations raises questions essential to us all: Is it ever too late to pick up the pieces and offer forgiveness? How do we build bridges where there was nothing before - and what happens to us, to our past and our future, if we don't?

©2020 Sopan Deb (P)2020 HarperAudio
Biographies & Memoirs Fatherhood Relationships Comedy Celebrity Funny Witty
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Thank you Sopan

Thank you Sopan for sharing your journey with us. As a fellow Bengali (same age as you) growing up in Canada to immigrant parents I could certainly see the parallels in your stories.

The story of your India trip made me quite emotional, especially understanding your father to greater detail. He reminded me so much of myself - an engineer who can be very difficult to deal with, especially to those who he loves most. It really has inspired me to work on own personal shortcomings for the sake of my family. Thank you for diving into the subject of mental health, as not enough South Asians talk about it openly as we are often guarded and tight lipped - putting on a show.

I am very happy that this experience was therapeutic for you and your family. I wish you, Wesley and your entire family warm wishes and happiness for the the future.

Ayan Sarker

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A heart felt story!

Journeyed with the author and felt cathartic at the end. A beautiful tale of love, loss and forgiveness. Sopan at the end feels like a friend and it's great to know he could find answers to his long due personal questions about his family.

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