Listen free for 30 days

  • Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

  • And Other Things I've Learned
  • Written by: Alan Alda
  • Narrated by: Alan Alda
  • Length: 4 hrs and 34 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (15 ratings)

Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo + applicable taxes after 30 days. Cancel anytime.
Never Have Your Dog Stuffed cover art

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

Written by: Alan Alda
Narrated by: Alan Alda
Try for $0.00

$14.95 a month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $16.03

Buy Now for $16.03

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Tax where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

He's one of America's most recognizable and acclaimed actors: a star on Broadway, an Oscar nominee for The Aviator, and the only person to ever win Emmys for acting, writing, and directing, during his 11 years on M*A*S*H. Now Alan Alda has written a memoir as elegant, funny, and affecting as his greatest performances.

"My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was six," begins Alda's irresistible story. The son of a popular actor and a loving but mentally ill mother, he spent his early childhood backstage in the erotic and comic world of burlesque and went on, after early struggles, to achieve extraordinary success in his profession.

Yet Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is not a memoir of show-business ups and downs. It is a moving and funny story of a boy growing into a man who then realizes he has only just begun to grow.

It is the story of turning points in Alda's life, events that would make him what he is, if only he could survive them.

From the moment as a boy when his dead dog is returned from the taxidermist's shop with a hideous expression on his face, and he learns that death can't be undone, to the decades-long effort to find compassion for the mother he lived with but never knew, to his acceptance of his father, both personally and professionally, Alda learns the hard way that change, uncertainty, and transformation are what life is made of, and true happiness is found in embracing them.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, filled with curiosity about nature, good humor, and honesty, is the crowning achievement of an actor, author, and director, but surprisingly, it is the story of a life more filled with turbulence and laughter than any Alda has ever played on the stage or screen.

©2005 Alan Alda (P)2005 Random House, Inc. Random House Audio, a division of Random House, Inc.

What the critics say

"A brief but entertaining autobiography tempered with humility and a depth rarely found in celebrity memoirs." (Publishers Weekly)

What listeners say about Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    10
  • 4 Stars
    4
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    0
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    11
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    10
  • 4 Stars
    2
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Beautifully Written and Engaging

I’ve looked up to Alan Alda since I was a kid watching M*A*S*H with my family. He is the reason I’ve gotten into an advocacy role in my local healthcare system, and the more I learn about him, watch the episodes he wrote, listen to his podcast, and read his books, the more I admire him, and feel that I’m on the right track.

The writing in this book is witty, engaging, and shows a very authentic perspective on life’s highs and lows, and the realities of mental health at a time when it was much more taboo than it is today.

I loved listening to this book especially as read by the author. My only wish is that it was longer.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Well Worth Your Time

I wish Alan spent less effort on trying for a laugh but we are who we are and he is a good man with a lot of wisdom.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!