Not Gay cover art

Not Gay

Sex Between Straight White Men

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Not Gay

Written by: Jane Ward
Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
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About this listen

A straight white girl can kiss a girl, like it, and still call herself straight - her boyfriend may even encourage her. But can straight white guys experience the same easy sexual fluidity, or would kissing a guy just mean that they are really gay?

Not Gay thrusts deep into a world where straight guy-on-guy action is not a myth but a reality: There's fraternity and military hazing rituals, where new recruits are made to grab each other's penises and stick fingers up their fellow members' anuses; online personal ads, where straight men seek other straight men to masturbate with; and, last but not least, the long and clandestine history of straight men frequenting public restrooms for sexual encounters with other men. For Jane Ward, these sexual practices reveal a unique social space where straight white men can - and do - have sex with other straight white men; in fact, she argues, to do so reaffirms rather than challenges their gender and racial identity.

Ward illustrates that sex between straight white men allows them to leverage whiteness and masculinity to authenticate their heterosexuality in the context of sex with men. By understanding their same-sex sexual practices as meaningless, accidental, or even necessary, straight white men can perform homosexual contact in heterosexual ways. These sex acts are not slippages into a queer way of being or expressions of a desired but unarticulated gay identity. Instead, Ward argues, they reveal the fluidity and complexity that characterizes all human sexual desire. In the end, Ward's analysis offers a new way to think about heterosexuality - not as the opposite or absence of homosexuality but as its own unique mode of engaging in homosexual sex, a mode characterized by pretense, disidentification, and racial and heterosexual privilege.

Daring, insightful, and brimming with wit, Not Gay is a fascinating new take on the complexities of heterosexuality in the modern era.

©2015 New York University (P)2015 Audible, Inc.
Anthropology Gender Studies LGBTQ2S+ Psychology Young Adult Queer
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Absolute nonsense

The author tries to make a point but in my opinion it simply doesn't jell. are there dudes who are married or have girlfriends who have sex with other men? Yes, they are called bisexual. Men who are forced into hazing rituals or rough play or act out on a dare can hardly be considered as having sex. E.G. If Tom takes David's cock into his mouth on a bet or a dare, he is simply doing it for the reward. Tom is not hoping that someone will make him perform such an act in hopes of satisfying his same sex desire. Cruelty and humiliation are no smoke screens for same sex desire. They are in fact to reduce the victim to the lowest possible rung on the hierarchical masculine ladder. Now granted in homosocial settings such as prisons and such; men may turn to their own sex for gratification out of sheer desperation but it would not be their first choice. The author's weakest argument I found was when she introduced the Craig's list ads of men looking for jerk off buddies. Again, what we have here is nothing more than bisexuality. If a man seeks out another man actively to masturbate with this is desire coming from inside and part of his overall sexual make-up. In this particular time and place he is craving another male for sexual play. True straight men do not seek each other out for sex. Hell if you consider all the hook up apps for heterosexuals, why would they? I'll give the author a E for effort but I'm not buying it. As a gay man myself I have tried women a few times but there was really nothing there and was largely High School stuff or in other words, maybe i'm 10% straight?

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