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  • Once upon a Time, Bitches

  • Design Your Fairytale Life, Control Your Destiny, and Become the Hero in Your Story
  • Written by: Branden LaNette
  • Narrated by: Branden LaNette
  • Length: 2 hrs and 16 mins

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Once upon a Time, Bitches cover art

Once upon a Time, Bitches

Written by: Branden LaNette
Narrated by: Branden LaNette
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Publisher's Summary

Hi, I’m Branden. That is me on the cover. Yes, I have a boy’s name, a mom bod, and the tattoos are not photoshopped.

Once upon a time, I realized we all have a story, we all have a struggle, and happiness is relative. I am not cynical or hardened, I am just stating the facts.

Here’s the deal:

  • Prince Charming doesn’t exist.
  • Fairy godmother is drunk.
  • Glass slippers don't come with two-day Prime shipping from Amazon.

There is no magic fairy tale, but if you work at it enough, you can come pretty close to creating your version with a happy ending. The best part is, in life, you can continue to make edits until that shit reads exactly how you want it to.

You may not agree with everything I say in this book, but the most important takeaway is that you have to be your own f--king hero. No more damsel locked in a tower, bullshit. That ends now.

Join me as I take you through my seven magical maxims for creating a fairy tale life. I know what you are thinking: Branden, no one gets a fairy tale life. Can you stop being so damn cynical for two seconds and just go with this?

Is it possible to design a fairy tale life? Control your destiny? Be the hero in your story? I believe you can, and that’s why, I wrote this book. I am going to make you a little uncomfortable. Back out now, if you aren't ready.

Shit is about to get real bitches...

Now, scroll up, hit the "buy now" button, pour a glass of wine, and start listening!

©2019 Branden LaNette (P)2019 Branden LaNette

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