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Parenting Beyond Power

How to Use Connection and Collaboration to Transform Your Family -- and the World

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Parenting Beyond Power

Written by: Jen Lumanlan MS MEd
Narrated by: Jen Lumanlan MS MEd
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About this listen

Parenting is hard. But when we replace conventional parent-child power dynamics with collaboration, family life gets easier today—and we create a better world for all of us in the future.

When we see our children stalling, resisting, having tantrums, using mean words, and hitting, we want to just make it stop. But conventional discipline methods like time-outs, countdowns, and “consequences” teach children that it’s OK for more powerful people to control others—a lesson they take out into the world. This is how we learned White supremacy, patriarchy, and capitalism from our parents—and we will replicate this with our children unless we make a different choice.

Research-based parenting educator Jen Lumanlan offers a simple yet revolutionary framework for rethinking our relationships with children. This new approach helps us to look beneath challenging behaviors to find and meet children’s needs, and ours too—perhaps for the first time in our lives. It involves empathetic listening, understanding feelings and underlying needs, and problem-solving with our children to find solutions to conflicts that work for everyone.

Family life becomes radically easier in the short term because behavior problems tend to melt away. In the long term, we’ll raise children who confidently advocate for themselves and treat others with profound respect.

Includes sample scripts, flowcharts, and resources to help parents learn and implement this new approach.

* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF of charts and resources from the book.

©2023 Jen Lumanlan (P)2023 Random House Audio
Parenting & Families Relationships
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What the critics say

“I’m in love with this book! It illuminates the forces that make parenting so difficult, and helps us develop better relationships with our kids—and ourselves.” —Hunter Clarke-Fields, MSAE, author of Raising Good Humans

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Every parent needs to read this book!

I have read tons of parenting books. The strategies in Parenting Beyond Power are in line with other gentle parenting authors BUT also zooms out to take into consideration systems in our society that, by there design, set us up to have poor relationships with ourselves and our kids.

I really appreciated both the theoretical - breaking down and talking through the concepts - as well as the practical with actual strategies I could start implementing right away.

I found as I went through the chapters I simultaneously reparented myself and let go of so many "shoulds", making way for a blossoming loving relationship with myself. This has transformed how I show up for my kiddos and I have so much more patience and compassion to connect and work to meet their needs and mine.

As a BIPOC mom, I can say there is wisdom in this book for white parents AND BIPOC ones. We all have our own healing to do and we have all been impacted by these systems. I appreciate that the author was humble throughout the book with where she is at in her understanding, acknowledging that as a white author it is tricky to write about these topics in a way that doesn't continue to saturate the parenting space with whiteness.

Well worth the read.

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