What if we accepted our struggles and stopped trying to be someone we’re not? In this poignant, hilarious book, the bestselling co-author of I’ll Be There (But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants) shares her experiments in finding our way back to each other.

Jess Johnston used to feel alone in her mess. Then, in a random burst of courage, she started sharing those insecurities and struggles out loud, and what she found shocked her. Again and again, women replied, “Me too! I thought I was the only one!”

Women are really hard on themselves. We often believe that if we just “did better,” “worked harder,” and “were less messy/flawed/human,” our lives would be infinitely better and we’d receive the belonging we crave, but the exact opposite is true. It isn’t our lack of perfection that isolates us; rather, it’s our authenticity about our imperfections that brings us together.

With honesty, heart, and humor, Johnston takes on the lies she’s believed and the lessons she’s learned (and is still learning), including:

• if I’m rejected, I will die. (We won’t.)

• I’m a junior varsity adult, and the best spot for me is usually the bench. (Nope, we’ve got to get in there and play.)

• my job is to keep people happy and make sure they like me. (Excuse me while I go hide in my closet and have an anxiety attack.)

Jess Johnston reminds us that the answers are in us already, in accepting that we’re a lot—a lot of mess, and a lot of great too.