Squeeze Me
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Scott Brick
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Written by:
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Carl Hiaasen
About this listen
NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • A hilarious novel of social and political intrigue, set against the glittering backdrop of Florida’s gold coast, from the author of Skinny Dip and Razor Girl
“If you could use some wild escapism right now, Hiaasen is your guy.” —The New York Times
WITH A NEW EPILOGUE
At the height of Palm Beach’s charity ball season, Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons, a prominent member of geriatric high society, suddenly vanishes during a swank gala. Kiki Pew was a founding member of the Potussies, a group of women dedicated to supporting the President, who spends half the year at the “Winter White House” just down the road. Meanwhile, Angie Armstrong, wildlife wrangler extraordinaire, is called to the island to deal with a monster-sized Burmese python that has taken residency in a tree. But the President is focused on the disappearance of Kiki Pew. Never one to miss an opportunity to play to his base, he immediately declares her a victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, it turns out, is far from the truth, which now lies in the middle of the road, where a bizarre discovery brings the First Lady’s motorcade to a grinding halt. Irreverent, ingenious, and uproariously entertaining, Squeeze Me perfectly captures the absurdity of our times.
©2020 Carl Hiaasen (P)2020 Random House AudioYou may also enjoy...
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Valdez Jones VIII calls himself Wrecker because his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather salvaged shipwrecks for a living. So is it destiny, irony, or just bad luck when Wrecker comes across a speedboat that has run hard aground on a sand flat? The men in the boat don't want Wrecker to call for help—in fact, they'll pay him to forget he ever saw them. Wrecker would be happy to forget, but he keeps seeing these men all over Key West—at the marina, even in the cemetery. And now they want more than his silence—they want a lookout.
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Seemed to trail off
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Double Whammy
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A twisted tale of murder in the world of big-stakes bass fishing tournaments. Filled with ex-wives, evangelists, and an armed pit-bull, this is a story that could only be concocted by Carl Hiaasen, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, New York Times best-selling author, and czar of Florida noir fiction.
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Not bad but not the best from this author
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Martha Ratliff conceded long ago that she’d likely spend her life alone. She was fine with it, happy with her solo existence, stimulated by her work as a librarian in Maine. But then she met Alan, a charming and sweet-natured salesman whose job took him on the road for half the year. When he asked her to marry him, she said yes, even though he still felt a little bit like a stranger.
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Another fantastic novel
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Razor Girl
- A Novel
- Written by: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: John Rubinstein
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Lane Coolman's car is bashed from behind on the road to the Florida Keys, what appears to be an ordinary accident is anything but (this is Hiaasen!). Behind the wheel of the other car is Merry Mansfield - the eponymous Razor Girl - and the crash scam is only the beginning of events that spiral crazily out of control while unleashing some of the wildest characters Hiaasen has ever set loose.
-
-
belly laugh funny
- By Heather T on 2018-10-21
Written by: Carl Hiaasen
-
Skin Tight
- Written by: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 14 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This novel by Carl Hiaasen, author of Tourist Season and Native Tongue, begins as most thrillers do, with a killing. But this is no everyday, hum-drum, garden variety killing. Our hero, Nick Stranahan, a 42-year-old private investigator who has killed five men and been married five times, skewers his attacker's aorta with the razor-sharp bill of a stuffed marlin.
Written by: Carl Hiaasen
-
Squirm
- Written by: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Some facts about Billy Dickens: He once saw a biker swerve across the road in order to run over a snake. Later, that motorcycle somehow ended up at the bottom of a canal. Billy isn't the type to let things go. Some facts about Billy's family: They've lived in six different Florida towns because Billy's mom insists on getting a house near a bald eagle nest. Billy's dad left when he was four and is a total mystery. Billy has just found his dad's address - in Montana.
Written by: Carl Hiaasen
-
Wrecker
- Written by: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Ron Butler
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Valdez Jones VIII calls himself Wrecker because his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather salvaged shipwrecks for a living. So is it destiny, irony, or just bad luck when Wrecker comes across a speedboat that has run hard aground on a sand flat? The men in the boat don't want Wrecker to call for help—in fact, they'll pay him to forget he ever saw them. Wrecker would be happy to forget, but he keeps seeing these men all over Key West—at the marina, even in the cemetery. And now they want more than his silence—they want a lookout.
-
-
Seemed to trail off
- By Anonymous User on 2024-01-03
Written by: Carl Hiaasen
-
Double Whammy
- Written by: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A twisted tale of murder in the world of big-stakes bass fishing tournaments. Filled with ex-wives, evangelists, and an armed pit-bull, this is a story that could only be concocted by Carl Hiaasen, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, New York Times best-selling author, and czar of Florida noir fiction.
-
-
Not bad but not the best from this author
- By Josh Pickens on 2023-04-04
Written by: Carl Hiaasen
-
A Talent for Murder
- A Novel
- Written by: Peter Swanson
- Narrated by: Sophie Amoss, Stephen Graybill, Saskia Maarleveld, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Martha Ratliff conceded long ago that she’d likely spend her life alone. She was fine with it, happy with her solo existence, stimulated by her work as a librarian in Maine. But then she met Alan, a charming and sweet-natured salesman whose job took him on the road for half the year. When he asked her to marry him, she said yes, even though he still felt a little bit like a stranger.
-
-
Another fantastic novel
- By Becca Craig on 2024-06-14
Written by: Peter Swanson
What the critics say
“Carl Hiaasen remains the undefeated, unscored-upon conscience of Florida, maybe the conscience of the whole country. I laughed and laughed and laughed while I read Squeeze Me - until I remembered, hey, I live in Palm Beach! Oh yeah, spoiler alert - the python did it.” (James Patterson)
"By the evidence of the scabrous and unrelentingly hilarious Squeeze Me, the Trump era is truly Carl Hiaasen’s moment... Just dive in and have a wonderful time." (Richard Lipez, The Washington Post)
"Novelists, like the rest of us, can’t look away from the Trump administration. Unfortunately, they haven’t found much interesting to say about it. Carl Hiaasen’s thriller Squeeze Me is, blessedly, an exception ... Hiaasen is clear-eyed: He meets the president on his subterranean level ... Squeeze Me is funny, but as with Hiaasen’s best work, it’s grounded in genuine outrage over the corruption that increasingly defines American political and cultural life. And it turns out there’s no better place to invoke that outrage than the wealthy swamps of Florida." (Alex Shephard, The New Republic)
What listeners say about Squeeze Me
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Georgieanna Dube
- 2020-09-14
Great giggle!!
Very well written, exceptionally funny, tongue in cheek poke at politics and high society. Carl Hiaasen has outdone himself once again!
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- RobinR
- 2020-09-19
True LOL
Giggled the worker way through! Of the moment and super entertaining. Good narrator really enjoy Hiaasen’s connection of politics and the environment.
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- Heather Moyer
- 2020-09-29
Squeeze Me
Carl Hiaasen continues to entertain and chastise people at the same time. He pokes fun at human foibles, absurdities all too real and brings to light real problems for our natural world due to thoughtless land development.
He writes intelligent humour that is ALWAYS entertaining, creating full out chuckles.
I am sorry to finish the story. I want it to last longer.
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