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Squeeze Me

A Novel

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Squeeze Me

Written by: Carl Hiaasen
Narrated by: Scott Brick
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NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • A hilarious novel of social and political intrigue, set against the glittering backdrop of Florida’s gold coast, from the author of Skinny Dip and Razor Girl

“If you could use some wild escapism right now, Hiaasen is your guy.” —The New York Times

WITH A NEW EPILOGUE

At the height of Palm Beach’s charity ball season, Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons, a prominent member of geriatric high society, suddenly vanishes during a swank gala. Kiki Pew was a founding member of the Potussies, a group of women dedicated to supporting the President, who spends half the year at the “Winter White House” just down the road. Meanwhile, Angie Armstrong, wildlife wrangler extraordinaire, is called to the island to deal with a monster-sized Burmese python that has taken residency in a tree. But the President is focused on the disappearance of Kiki Pew. Never one to miss an opportunity to play to his base, he immediately declares her a victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, it turns out, is far from the truth, which now lies in the middle of the road, where a bizarre discovery brings the First Lady’s motorcade to a grinding halt. Irreverent, ingenious, and uproariously entertaining, Squeeze Me perfectly captures the absurdity of our times.
Literature & Fiction Mystery Suspense Thriller & Suspense Comedy Fiction Witty First Lady
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What the critics say

“Carl Hiaasen remains the undefeated, unscored-upon conscience of Florida, maybe the conscience of the whole country. I laughed and laughed and laughed while I read Squeeze Me – until I remembered, hey, I live in Palm Beach! Oh yeah, spoiler alert – the python did it.” —James Patterson

"By the evidence of the scabrous and unrelentingly hilarious Squeeze Me, the Trump era is truly Carl Hiaasen’s moment . . . Just dive in and have a wonderful time." —Richard Lipez, The Washington Post

"Novelists, like the rest of us, can’t look away from the Trump administration. Unfortunately, they haven’t found much interesting to say about it. Carl Hiaasen’s thriller Squeeze Me is, blessedly, an exception . . . Hiaasen is clear-eyed: He meets the president on his subterranean level . . . Squeeze Me is funny, but as with Hiaasen’s best work, it’s grounded in genuine outrage over the corruption that increasingly defines American political and cultural life. And it turns out there’s no better place to invoke that outrage than the wealthy swamps of Florida." —Alex Shephard, The New Republic

"Pink pearls, pythons and a philandering president add up to a rather unusual Palm Beach social season in Carl Hiaasen’s riotously funny new novel, Squeeze Me . . . [Hiaasen] knows and loves Florida and hates what has been done to it as much as anyone I know of, and those passions shape his razor-sharp satirical fiction." —Colette Bancroft, The Tampa Bay Times


"Squeeze Me is vintage Hiaasen — wry humor, social commentary and satire akin to Jonathan Swift, and all fun." —Oline H. Cogdill, The South Florida Sun-Sentinel
All stars
Most Relevant
Fast paced, original and hilarious! A puzzle until nearly the end chapter. Great work, twist and turns.

Keeps your attention throughout the book :)

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Giggled the worker way through! Of the moment and super entertaining. Good narrator really enjoy Hiaasen’s connection of politics and the environment.

True LOL

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Carl Hiaasen continues to entertain and chastise people at the same time. He pokes fun at human foibles, absurdities all too real and brings to light real problems for our natural world due to thoughtless land development.
He writes intelligent humour that is ALWAYS entertaining, creating full out chuckles.
I am sorry to finish the story. I want it to last longer.

Squeeze Me

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Very well written, exceptionally funny, tongue in cheek poke at politics and high society. Carl Hiaasen has outdone himself once again!

Great giggle!!

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if you are a Democrat he will love this book, absolutely love it and think it's hilarious, but if you are not a Democrat you will think how low can they go.

Disappointing

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