The Hitman's Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot
The Hitman's Guide 3
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wish list failed.
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Buy Now for $25.00
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Michael Ferraiuolo
-
Written by:
-
Alice Winters
About this listen
Leland
Is a nice little wedding with Blow-up Randy and Jackson My Love too much to ask for? Clearly, because someone’s trying to kill one of us...again. Generally, this would be my thing and I would jump right in singing my murder song, but they want Jackson dead and I will do anything (and I mean anything) to keep him alive - including and not limited to: 10 Dobermans, bulletproof glass, and dragging Cassel in with the promise of more Jerebear. These people have no idea what they’ve done targeting the man I love because I’m coming after them. But when it feels like everything might be lost, I start to understand that I have a family now who will stand by my side and do everything they can to make sure we end this on our terms.
Jackson
When someone attacks me, it’s clear they want something from me. The issue is that I have no idea who they are or what they’re after. And if I don’t figure it out soon, I’m afraid Leland is going to smother me with his overprotectiveness (or put me in a bubble at the top of a tower). The issue is that time is ticking and with the price tag on my head, there’s no telling who is coming for me or when. Together, Leland and I have to decipher who is telling the truth in this game of life or death because I have plans to marry the man of my dreams, and no one is going to stop me - especially with Leland by my side.
This book contains humor, action, romance, bad behavior on a golf course, sort of abducting a child who lacks kung fu power, enough car chases and shooting to make even Leland happy, and spontaneous singing.
©2020 Alice Winters (P)2021 Alice WintersYou may also enjoy...
-
The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Being a hit man has its perks, but I never thought getting an accidental mooning by an attractive PI while he’s caught on a fence would be one of them. While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go. Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll, Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better.
-
-
Hilarious
- By Geeky Mama on 2020-02-19
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Fake Dates and Fanged Mistakes
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This week hasn’t gone the best for me unless you count Casimir, the sexy ancient vampire, bringing me back from the brink of death (and tying my fate to his in the process). Not that it matters if the werewolves and vampires don’t stop their ridiculous feud, because someone is targeting them and widening the divide between our communities with each body they leave in their wake. But as the alpha’s son, I have a plan to fix everything. I’m going to convince Casimir to fake date me to show the others that we can work together. I mean… what could go wrong?
-
-
So funny
- By Dawn on 2024-11-14
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Monstrous Intent
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s really hard to pretend like life is normal when you’re staring a monster in the eyes, though he’s both tempting and irritating in his human form. I put my days as a hunter behind me, unable to cope with the death and pain anymore, to become an upstanding citizen and for what? To assist Lake, a man who claims he’s not a monster but keeps talking about me like I’m edible and–even worse–wants to woo me?
-
-
The banter between Lake and Declan is HILARIOUS!
- By Lisa Garnier on 2024-03-25
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Happy Endings
- Demon Magic, Book 1
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Smart men never dabble with demons. I never claimed to be smart, but at least, I’m powerful enough to control them. When I bound Havoc to me nearly 300 years ago, I never realized how difficult he’d make my life, although “accidentally” lighting him on fire every now and then does bring a smile to my face. Havoc is handsome, mysterious, and somehow, my closest companion, even if we don’t always get along.
-
-
Pleasantly suprised.
- By Catriona on 2021-01-03
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Ghost of Lies
- Medium Trouble, Book 1
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 11 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Though I was born with the ability to see the dead, I struggled with it until my brother was killed and his ghost was left behind. Now, I’m determined to figure out who is responsible for his death…the problem is that Detective Maddox Booker, the one working the case, is a grumpy and stubborn man who wants nothing to do with me and definitely doesn’t believe in ghosts. It doesn’t help that I keep finding myself looking ridiculous in front of the detective, thanks to interfering ghosts who enjoy laughing at my expense.
-
-
So damn good!
- By Amazon Customer on 2021-12-30
Written by: Alice Winters
-
How to Vex a Vampire
- VRC: Vampire Related Crimes, Book 1
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Getting into the vampire-only detective unit was the easy part. What’s going to be more difficult is dealing with my new partner - an ancient vampire who keeps threatening to eat me. The unit has never had a human in it. Marcus - or, as I like to call him: Fangy McFangface - would really prefer to keep it that way. He’s grumpy, short-tempered, and broody, but I have a way with words, and I know he’s starting to like me, even if he swears he’s not.
-
-
Good story.
- By Shirley on 2020-05-29
Written by: Alice Winters
-
The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Being a hit man has its perks, but I never thought getting an accidental mooning by an attractive PI while he’s caught on a fence would be one of them. While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go. Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll, Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better.
-
-
Hilarious
- By Geeky Mama on 2020-02-19
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Fake Dates and Fanged Mistakes
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This week hasn’t gone the best for me unless you count Casimir, the sexy ancient vampire, bringing me back from the brink of death (and tying my fate to his in the process). Not that it matters if the werewolves and vampires don’t stop their ridiculous feud, because someone is targeting them and widening the divide between our communities with each body they leave in their wake. But as the alpha’s son, I have a plan to fix everything. I’m going to convince Casimir to fake date me to show the others that we can work together. I mean… what could go wrong?
-
-
So funny
- By Dawn on 2024-11-14
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Monstrous Intent
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s really hard to pretend like life is normal when you’re staring a monster in the eyes, though he’s both tempting and irritating in his human form. I put my days as a hunter behind me, unable to cope with the death and pain anymore, to become an upstanding citizen and for what? To assist Lake, a man who claims he’s not a monster but keeps talking about me like I’m edible and–even worse–wants to woo me?
-
-
The banter between Lake and Declan is HILARIOUS!
- By Lisa Garnier on 2024-03-25
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Happy Endings
- Demon Magic, Book 1
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Smart men never dabble with demons. I never claimed to be smart, but at least, I’m powerful enough to control them. When I bound Havoc to me nearly 300 years ago, I never realized how difficult he’d make my life, although “accidentally” lighting him on fire every now and then does bring a smile to my face. Havoc is handsome, mysterious, and somehow, my closest companion, even if we don’t always get along.
-
-
Pleasantly suprised.
- By Catriona on 2021-01-03
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Ghost of Lies
- Medium Trouble, Book 1
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 11 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Though I was born with the ability to see the dead, I struggled with it until my brother was killed and his ghost was left behind. Now, I’m determined to figure out who is responsible for his death…the problem is that Detective Maddox Booker, the one working the case, is a grumpy and stubborn man who wants nothing to do with me and definitely doesn’t believe in ghosts. It doesn’t help that I keep finding myself looking ridiculous in front of the detective, thanks to interfering ghosts who enjoy laughing at my expense.
-
-
So damn good!
- By Amazon Customer on 2021-12-30
Written by: Alice Winters
-
How to Vex a Vampire
- VRC: Vampire Related Crimes, Book 1
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Getting into the vampire-only detective unit was the easy part. What’s going to be more difficult is dealing with my new partner - an ancient vampire who keeps threatening to eat me. The unit has never had a human in it. Marcus - or, as I like to call him: Fangy McFangface - would really prefer to keep it that way. He’s grumpy, short-tempered, and broody, but I have a way with words, and I know he’s starting to like me, even if he swears he’s not.
-
-
Good story.
- By Shirley on 2020-05-29
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Hidden in Darkness
- In Darkness Series, Book 1
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Joel Leslie
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Felix lands a job taking care of a man recovering from severe injuries, he thinks his life may have just turned around. Anything has to be better than the place he's leaving. There's something about Lane that draws Felix to him and makes him question if this place could finally become a home for him. But when someone begins stalking Felix, he is left to question who Lane is and what actually happened to him. Together, Felix and Lane will be forced to see just how far they will go to protect each other.
-
-
The Humour Was Fantastic
- By Amazon Customer on 2024-06-24
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Of Secrets and Wolves
- Winsford Shifters, Book 1
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
My whole life, I’ve been taught to despise shifters. So when I’m hired to track two escaped convicts, I’m suddenly thrust into the world I hate - or thought I did. Yet I’m inexplicably drawn to the alpha of the pack, whose land the convicts may be hiding on. He’s different than any shifter I've ever met - laidback and quick to laugh, caring, and protective. As secrets are revealed, I start to wonder if everything I’ve been raised to believe was a lie, though it may not matter, because it seems like someone wants us dead.
-
-
great debut
- By Lucie V on 2023-05-20
Written by: Alice Winters
-
A Fae Coin Transported Me into Another World and Now I'm the Gay Holy Maiden
- A Fortune Favors the Fae Standalone
- Written by: AJ Sherwood
- Narrated by: Zachary Zaba, Tor Thom
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What happens when you fall and hit the webtoons trope tree? You get killed by Truck-kun, get transported to a fantasy world by a sentient Fae coin, and become the first gay holy maiden. Jake Alexander is Not Happy to be sure. Fortunately in Jake's case, part of the trope tree includes the gorgeous Duke of the North, Theon. And starting a business from scratch, which he's always wanted to do. And revitalizing his new country which is on the verge of collapse.
Written by: AJ Sherwood
-
Nixing the End of the World
- Phoenix's Quest, Book 1
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
“You are the savior of mankind” are the last words I ever expected to hear while nibbling on fries. The thing is, I’m not mankind saving material. I don’t even have magic (and just found out it exists). I’m the most boring, normal(ish) human ever. Suddenly, I’m being tossed right into the middle of a fight that started years before I was even born, and then I get partnered up with Alastair, a quirky magical Guardian. He is rather attractive and sweet when he’s not into the whole “woe is me, I can’t let myself fall in love with you” nonsense.
-
-
Awesome dialogue!
- By Amazon Customer on 2022-06-19
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Cast in Shadows
- Shadow's Lure, Book 1
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When the light-magic users known as Casters took everything from me, I vowed to make them pay. Little did I know the perfect opportunity would show up in the form of a sweet Caster the moment I took his arrow to the heart…literally. Bastian knows that I’m made of dark magic, the very thing he’s been taught to destroy. But instead of turning away from me, he takes a chance on me, leading me behind the walls of the group out to kill me.
-
-
A Breath of Fresh Air
- By Emily on 2023-09-15
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Higher Demon
- The Collective, Book 1
- Written by: Louisa Masters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A thousand years ago, my great-something uncle founded the Collective, a secret organization dedicated to protecting humanity from demons. The hunter tradition has been passed down over the generations, from parent to child, secure in the knowledge that the Collective is a community of safety and knowledge. But betrayal sucks, and six years ago, it turned my world—and the Collective—upside down. After generations of deception, the hunters left behind are picking up the pieces and trying something we’ve never done before—working side by side with our enemy.
-
-
Fantastic Narration
- By Anonymous User on 2024-11-15
Written by: Louisa Masters
-
Endangered Species
- Time Served, Book 1
- Written by: Onley James
- Narrated by: Liam DiCosimo
- Length: 6 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After spending his formative years in an abusive home, NICHOLAS WEBSTER has made a pretty good life for himself. He has friends, a lucrative job with Elite Protection Services, and a side gig that lets him help out those escaping the same abusive home situation he left behind. But no matter how many people he helps, he can’t escape the guilt over the one person he didn’t—his step-brother, Cyrus.
Written by: Onley James
-
Reckless Roulette
- The Elite, Book 1
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 4 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Kade has seven days left to live...unless I do something about it. I am one of the best assassins around, after all. But...I’m not sure I exactly care what happens to Kade. He’s rude, only cares about himself and his casino, and did I mention he doesn’t know a single thing about video games? Okay, okay. Maybe that’s not enough of a reason to watch him dash headlong into danger while I kick back and enjoy the show.
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Hot Head
- Drake Security, Book 1
- Written by: Mika Nix
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lake Forrester III entered my life like a wrecking ball. Drake Security, my firm with my brothers, was hired to protect him from a stalker ex, but what Lake doesn’t know is that he’s not dealing with your average unhinged human. The unhinged wolf shifter he unknowingly dated will stop at nothing to get Lake in his clutches. Just another day in the life of a dragon body guard.
-
-
Loved this!!
- By Amazon Customer on 2024-02-04
Written by: Mika Nix
-
Iris
- Mike Bravo Ops
- Written by: Eden Finley
- Narrated by: Alexander Cendese, Tim Paige
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Military life is all I’ve known since I was born. But when a top-secret mission fails, I find myself suddenly discharged with nowhere to go. Mike Bravo saved my life, and they want me to join them, but there’s one small problem. Isaac “Iris” Griffin. He’s as irresistibly snarky as he always was, only there’s a big difference this time. I’m no longer closeted or scared to live my truth. And the truth is, I’ve always wanted him. It’s against Mike Bravo’s rules to fraternize with other team members. But something tells me Iris might be worth the insubordination.
-
-
A voice makes or breaks it
- By HeatherMac on 2024-12-21
Written by: Eden Finley
-
A Villain for Christmas
- Vexing Villains, Book 1
- Written by: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Lesley
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Despite growing up in a family of villains, I’d rather curl up and read than commit crimes. When I get coerced by my brother into helping him rob a bank, I run into August, my childhood crush, also known as Chrono, the city’s greatest superhero. He’s sexy, sweet, and suddenly, he’s asking me to Thanksgiving with his parents.
-
-
Amazing, great couple, great story, great everything 😍
- By Enric on 2023-09-19
Written by: Alice Winters
-
Origin
- Scales ‘N’ Spells, Book 1
- Written by: AJ Sherwood, Jocelynn Drake
- Narrated by: Joel Leslie
- Length: 13 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Germany is supposed to be an escape. With a new mechanical engineering degree, a new job looming, and a whole life planned out that isn’t his, Germany seems like the best place for Cameron find himself. So how does he end up discovering his lost magic heritage, running from bad guys with a secret agenda, and being adopted by the not-so-extinct Fire Dragon clan? He blames tall, dark, and sexy Alric, king of the Fire Dragons: his fated mate.
-
-
Joel Leslie steals the show!
- By Maxadriane on 2021-08-19
Written by: AJ Sherwood, and others
What listeners say about The Hitman's Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Snowflake1955
- 2022-05-13
Not bad but not nearly as good as the first 2.
The story dragged in parts and wasn’t as humorous as books 1 and 2. I thought the wedding could have been played up more. Worth a credit? Maybe…
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Leo
- 2021-02-10
A+
5 Blue Roses
Narrator Michael Ferraiuolo loosened those sleeves, rolled them up, and unbuckled my straight-jackets’ ties which held me in a state of stiff (not the good stiff kind, the cold almost dead kind) animated suspension. The worst audiobook slump, since the time old retired people, discovered tape recorders and decided to make audiobooks. He sat me up and fed me humor until I slightly flexed my neck and moved my chin up and down, confirming what he is doing feels right and he should continue. To prevent episodes of choking (again, not good choking, the choking where Heimlich maneuver is required) my medicinal humor was cut up into smaller pieces and mashed with romance and a deeper love for blow-up dolls (once more, not the good sex dolls, but the companionship they offer to good-hearted psycho killers. Michael is an expert when it comes to conveying ridiculous humor, he juggles it until it is the right temperature to swallow (uhmm, ok, let’s move on), he never rushes it and never bores you to death (Yes, this time it is a bad death and not the good little death, reached neither fast nor slow).
Behind all the good work Michael does, is Alice Winters. She writes really-really good stuff. Their symbiotic relationship creates awesome content to feed and free the Seymores like us. (like feed me, feed me Seymore, but also like freeing the drowning straight-jacket escapologist).
On a serious note, this was one hell of a series! From book one when Jacksons’pants got stuck while he jumped a fence and ended arse up, until the end, when Leland and Jackson got married, the author managed to keep me laughing while I connected on a deeper level with the characters. They are truly unforgettable individually and as a couple, I really hope to hear more from them. (It’s up to the author)
But, I will miss Leland and I will definitely re-listen to this series again and again.
Bring me a hanky, and wipe my nose, I am emotional and feel like crying, saying goodbye.
Thank you, for sharing your gifts, for cheering us up. (Best Author and Narrator team!)
Happiness is listening to your stuff!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Tiffany Reader
- 2021-01-31
I'm so Happy!
I've been waiting for this to come out on audiobook!! I love Michael Ferraiuolo, his Leland is hilarious, I can't get enough! Both happy and sad to see their story come to an end. Only thing I'd say, I wish the epilogue was longer and took place further in the future.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kindle Customer
- 2021-03-14
Killer Narration
Michael Ferraiuolo kills this story with the best narration. It's a good story as well but the narration makes it!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!