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The Power of Showing Up cover art

The Power of Showing Up

Written by: Daniel J. Siegel MD, Tina Payne Bryson PhD
Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel MD, Tina Payne Bryson PhD
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Publisher's Summary

Parenting isn’t easy. Showing up is. Your greatest impact begins right where you are. Now, the best-selling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood.

"There is parenting magic in this book." (Michael Thompson, PhD, co-author of the New York Times best-selling classic Raising Cain)

One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out - in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships - is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as best-selling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S's:

  • Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change.
  • Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions - both positive and negative - and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior.
  • Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone.
  • Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up - when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive!

Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, and tips for honoring the Four S’s effectively in all kinds of situations - when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don’t show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it’s never too late to mend broken trust, this audiobook is a powerful guide to cultivating your child’s healthy emotional landscape.

This audiobook includes a downloadable PDF of the Refrigerator Sheet, a summary of the Four S’s to remember in forming secure attachments.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2020 Daniel J. Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson (P)2020 Random House Audio

What the critics say

"Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have spun a miracle - The Power of Showing Up is the ultimate guide to family reconnection. Clear, profound, and charmingly-illustrated, it unravels the challenges of modern parenting and reveals the simple truths about what children really need from the adults in their lives." (Wendy Mogel, PhD, New York Times best-selling author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B Minus)

"Parenting at this moment in time and at today’s pace feels hard. But that makes it all that much more important that we try to simplify the process of parenting and not put quite so much pressure on our own parenting shoulders. The Power of Showing Up will help you do just that. Siegel and Payne Bryson are master teachers when it comes to helping parents react and respond to kids in ways that communicate 'I hear you.' They articulate and quantify how to make your parenting easier - and better!" (Christine Carter, PhD, author of Raising Happiness)

"Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have written their best book yet - and that is saying a lot. They have distilled their parenting wisdom - based on neuroscience research and a deep empathy for children’s needs - into a profound concept: showing up. It is one of those great ideas that seems so obvious - but only after someone has shown it to you and spelled it out clearly. Best of all, Siegel and Payne Bryson 'show up' for the reader of this book. They know parents, know their fears and anxieties, hopes and dreams, and they provide an accessible path to seeing and soothing children and providing them with safety and security." (Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, author of Playful Parenting)

What listeners say about The Power of Showing Up

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Life changing! A must read for any caregiver

I wish that I had read this book years ago! I have a 17 year old and an 8 year old. My 17 year old is currently in an addiction therapy program and this is one of the recommended books for parents to read in the program. I’ve been trying to figure out where things went wrong and what changes I need to make on my end. This book has made it crystal clear for me. I learned so much about attachment styles and what it means to truly show up for my children, loved ones and myself. Thank you!

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A must Read for anyone !!

This is the book that landed on my lap at exactly the right time. I am not a parent and am not planning to become one, but we all have inner-child, inner-fears, inners-interaction and I was exploring what is called re-parenting. This book was very helpful to help me better understand some inner-dynamic and how to approach them. I may not have a child for offering this but I can offer it to my inner self and inner relationship. I would recommend this book to any soon to be parents but also to anyone <3 Better understand how your relationship with your environment as a child has shaped your reactions, and how to offer yourself presence, compassion, and understanding to re-parent yourself and gain more confidence and autonomy.

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Incredible parenting book to help you work on yourself

Great information on being aware of how you were raised and how it affects your kids

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Stable launchpad and secure base

I loved learning about attachment theory, mindsight and the four S’s. Very valuable information for all parents who want to provide a secure upbringing for their kids.

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Practical

The Power of Showing Up is a practical guide for parents, grandparents, teachers, and anyone responsible for the care and nurturing of children.

The chapters of this book provides a succinct and thoughtful approach to childhood and subsequent adulthood security and mental wellbeing.

Loved it!

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Profound learnings

I came across this by recommendation from Jayson Gaddis and I can’t endorse it enough. Simple, easy to understand and enlightening. Onto my second sitting!

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Heck yeah!

Exactly what I was looking for. This book talks about how our childhoods shape how we parent.

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Best parenting manual!

We all know parenting is one of the most difficult jobs on the planet. Even good parents make mistakes. This book gives clear guidelines for the most ESSENTIAL strategies in raising children, regardless of age or stage of development. An absolute must have for all parents! I will be gifting a copy to those in my circle of friends and acquaintances who have or are going to have children.

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You only get one shot

Kids are only young for so long. Might as well give them the best chance at life and it starts with you. I have been listening to and will be listening to all of Dan Siegel’s audio books. Good luck to all the parents out there. And when things get tough, just remember, there is support out there. Don’t be afraid to go get it.

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insight into yourself and how you parent

I really connected with the peices about how I myself was raised and how that impacts my reactions to my own kids. This opened up a new way of thinking for me.

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