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The Velvet Rage

Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World

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The Velvet Rage

Written by: Alan Downs Ph. D
Narrated by: Alan Downs Ph. D
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About this listen

The most important issue in a gay man’s life is not “coming out”, but coming to terms with the invalidating past. Despite the progress made in recent years, many gay men still wonder, “Are we better off?” The byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, rejection, and anger - a toxic cocktail that can lead to drug abuse, promiscuity, alcoholism, depression, and suicide.

Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author’s own journey, and the stories of many of his friends and clients, Velvet Rage addresses the myth of gay pride and outlines three stages to emotional well-being for gay men. The revised and expanded edition covers issues related to gay marriage, a broader range of examples that extend beyond middle-class gay men in America, and expansion of the original discussion on living authentically as a gay man.

©2005, 2006, 2012 Alan Downs (P)2012 HighBridge Company
Gender Studies LGBTQ2S+ Rage Mental Health Young Adult Thought-Provoking
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What listeners say about The Velvet Rage

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Strongly recommend

Been willing to read this book for the longest time. Finally it became my first audiobook.
I’ve already recommended it to most of my friends :)

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A Must Read

Simply put: A. Must. Read. for every gay man and their companions in life.

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I enjoyed it

The first lgtb book I have ever read as a gay man. I found it very enlightening and can relate to many of the experiences shared.

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A positive life changing read for myself.

For years I struggled to fill a void that I felt deep inside, & nothing I did seem to satisfy or fill that void. As I listened to The Velvet Rage it seemed like the author was describing my own life. by the end of the book I had a clear understanding of my personal struggles & how to move my life forward positively to fill that void.

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Enlightening of the journey

This book has taught a lot to me and the friends I've shared this to through recommendation

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A book to help me make peace with myself and my community

A book to help me make peace with myself and my community by understanding the source of frustrations we’re dealing with as gay men in a world that doesn’t make us feel validated.

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every gay man should read this book !

brilliant and gives beautiful perspective on every aspect of the life of a gay man

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Important even for non gays

I would recommend this to anyone who is seeking meaning in their lives as couple.

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Needed this

Honestly I consider this the gay development bible. Something written honestly and important for every gay man to hear.

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Extraordinarily helpful for gay men

Wonderful book that provides insight into how social pressures from early childhood follow gay men throughout their lives and stunt their emotional growth. I found the book incredibly informative and the tools provided by the author to move into a true sense of self-knowing to be very helpful. This should be a must-listen/must-read for any gay man. It will help you understand yourself so much better, and get in touch with your authentic self.

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