Some stories tiptoe up and whisper in your ear - all sweetness and gumdrops and happy-ever-after-after-there-you-go.

Then, there are the weird ones.

We're talking talking-chickens, blue plague spam monkeys, tug boats of unbridled and fetid fecundity, tulwar-swinging cab drivers, malls that maul you, gnawing on screwdrivers and jig-lining elder gods coming at you faster than a ride-on mow-down massacre mower shopping cart caravan.

This is a collection for the seriously messed up minds of all you listeners who have grown tired of the trite detritus of day-to-day storytelling. These are some of the weirdest, most messed up mind-bending kind of stories that have ever been written - and I'm daring you to listen to them now.

"Plague Monkey Spam" - a novella of spider-gods, storytelling and the kitchen sink. "Gnarly Ho-Tep Hoedown Two-step" - a story told over a hand of potato chip poker. "Hunger Time at the Midnight Mall" - a yarn of belly-grumble and fear. "The Last Curl of Gut Rope" - chicken, egg, chicken, egg, crack this riddle if you dare.

All of this wonderful madness is brought to you by Steve Vernon - the creator behind the cult novella classic - Long Horn, Big Shaggy: A Tale of Wild West Terror and Reanimated Buffalo.