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This Far

My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light

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This Far

Written by: Allison Holker
Narrated by: Suzanne Elise Freeman
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About this listen

Read by the author.

In this candid and emotional memoir, Allison Holker opens up about her incredible dance career, her relationship with Stephen “tWitch” Boss, and the resilience that has carried her forward after his death.

Allison Holker was just eighteen when she found fame as a contestant on the reality TV show So You Think You Can Dance. Over the next several years, she had her first child, built a successful career as a professional dancer despite the industry being hostile to working moms, and fell in love with and married fellow dancer Stephen Boss, the former hype man and DJ of The Ellen DeGeneres Show known for his charisma and relentless positivity. Two more children and a wealth of professional opportunities for both Allison and Stephen followed, and the Bosses appeared to be one of the great Hollywood love stories.

Then, in December 2022, Stephen took his own life, leaving Allison to wrestle with unanswered questions, haunting what-ifs, and the heartbreaking realization that Stephen’s infectious joy was hiding pain, addictions, and self-doubt deeper than anyone knew.

For the first time, Allison reveals how she has navigated the emotional and financial aftermath of Stephen’s choice, guided their three children in their grief while managing the outpouring from a well-meaning public, and reopened herself to the next chapter in her professional and personal life. A beacon of hope and comfort for anyone experiencing grief—especially unexpected loss due to suicide—Allison’s story is an honest reflection on the pain of looking back on a complicated life and the resilience required to move into the future.

©2025 Allison Holker (P)2025 Harper Select
Biographies & Memoirs Grief & Loss Personal Success Relationships

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A mother with heart!

This biography really showed a mother who would do anything to help her children get through the trauma no children should have to experience. I was moved by her strength and ability to be present and show up for her family.

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A perspective most probably don’t consider

I applaud her for telling her truth and not what everyone wants to hear for the sake of their own feelings. Well done Allison, you were honest and have helped so many who can relate to this.

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Exploitative and Deeply Disappointing

Allison Holker shares deeply personal—and unproven—details about tWitch that do nothing but tarnish his legacy. It’s heartbreaking to think of his family hearing this.

The robotic narration only makes it worse, stripping away any authenticity. If you truly respected tWitch, skip this book. It does nothing to honor the man so many admired.

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1 person found this helpful