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  • Untangled

  • Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
  • Written by: Lisa Damour
  • Narrated by: Lisa Damour
  • Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
  • 4.9 out of 5 stars (202 ratings)

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Untangled cover art

Untangled

Written by: Lisa Damour
Narrated by: Lisa Damour
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Publisher's Summary

New York Times best seller.

An award-winning guide to the sometimes erratic and confusing behavior of teenage girls that explains what's going on, prepares parents for what's to come, and lets them know when it's time to worry. 

Look for Under Pressure, the companion guide to coping with stress and anxiety among girls, available now. 

In this sane, highly engaging, and informed guide for parents of daughters, Dr. Damour draws on decades of experience and the latest research to reveal the seven distinct - and absolutely normal - developmental transitions that turn girls into grown-ups, including parting with childhood, contending with adult authority, entering the romantic world, and caring for herself. Providing realistic scenarios and welcome advice on how to engage daughters in smart, constructive ways, Untangled gives parents a broad framework for understanding their daughters while addressing their most common questions, including: 

  • My 13-year-old rolls her eyes when I try to talk to her and only does it more when I get angry with her about it. How should I respond? 
  • Do I tell my teen daughter that I'm checking her phone? 
  • My daughter suffers from test anxiety. What can I do to help her? 
  • Where's the line between healthy eating and having an eating disorder? 
  • My teenage daughter wants to know why I'm against pot when it's legal in some states. What should I say? 
  • My daughter's friend is cutting herself. Do I call the girl's mother to let her know? 

Perhaps most important, Untangled helps mothers and fathers understand, connect, and grow with their daughters. When parents know what makes their daughter tick, they can embrace and enjoy the challenge of raising a healthy, happy young woman. 

Books for a Better Life Award winner.

“Finally, there’s some good news for puzzled parents of adolescent girls, and psychologist Lisa Damour is the bearer of that happy news. [Untangled] is the most down-to-earth, readable parenting book I’ve come across in a long time.” (The Washington Post

“Anna Freud wrote in 1958, ‘There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves.’ In the intervening decades, the transition doesn’t appear to have gotten any easier which makes Untangled such a welcome new resource.” (The Boston Globe)

©2016 Lisa Damour (P)2016 Random House Audio

What the critics say

"For years people have been asking me for the 'girl equivalent of Raising Cain', and I haven't known exactly what to recommend. Now I do." (Michael Thompson, PhD, coauthor of Raising Cain)

"An essential guide to understanding and supporting girls throughout their development. It's obvious that Dr. Damour 'gets' girls and understands the best way for any adult to help them navigate the common yet difficult challenges so many girls face." (Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees & Wannabes)

"A gem. Damour deftly blends insights from her clinical experience working with girls, time-honored wisdom on adolescence, the latest social science and neuroscience research, and frank descriptions of cultural trends and media messages. From the moment I read the last page I've been recommending it to my clients (including those with sons!) and colleagues, and using it as a refreshing guide in my own work with teenagers and their parents." (Wendy Mogel, PhD, author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee)

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Politcally correct rubbish.

The intro about PC BS about bowing to gender pronouns turned this book into a painful lecture.

Returned.

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3 people found this helpful

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  • 2019-09-11

second time listener

I listened to this book again now that my daughter is 12, and it was a much needed re-listen for me.

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Must read if you have a daughter

This book was so relevant! I couldn’t stop listening and was disappointed when it ended. I already know I’ll be listening to this again soon!

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Eye Opening Outlook To Teen Angst

I must admit I was one of those parents who had a perception of teenage girls as unnecessarily rude. Though I still don't appreciate the talk back from my tween, I do have a more softer understanding of what's going on after listening to this audio book - I also have the book as well as I may want to revisit certain topics. I highly recommend this book to other parents regardless if you're struggling or not because there are also warning signs if your child is too obedient...trust me, it's worth the read!

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An eye- and heart-opening book. Thanks!

The author does an amazing job, breaking down complex concepts into every day language, interspersed with engaging examples and stories. I see myself and my 11-year old girl in so many ways!

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  • dsd
  • 2022-07-16

A must read if you’re raising a girl

I’m going to listen to this a second time. It’s very practical and provides excellent examples and clear guidance.

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Very good book

Very good book . I would recommended to all moms with teenager girls. Sweet voice to listen too.

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Thoughtful and eye opening

We have a 10 yr old daughter and 12 year old son. I found relevant perspectives for both of them and appreciate the view from our daughters eyes. The information helps make it ok to understand behaviours to not take them personal but keep them matter of fact.

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Spot on

This has really helped me understand my preteen daughter. I was really struggling with watching her grow up so fast and pushing us away. After listening to Untangled. I see that it’s all very normal and I feel much better now. I was feeling quite hurt by her actions until I understood that it’s all part of growing up. A must listen for anyone raising preteen/teenage girls.

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An amazing book for parents with a teenage daughter

This book was insightful and a highly recommended read for parents.

Relatable and helpful.

You won’t regret taking the time to read this.

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