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Untangled

Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood

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Untangled

Written by: Lisa Damour Ph.D.
Narrated by: Lisa Damour Ph.D.
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About this listen

New York Times best seller.

An award-winning guide to the sometimes erratic and confusing behavior of teenage girls that explains what's going on, prepares parents for what's to come, and lets them know when it's time to worry.

Look for Under Pressure, the companion guide to coping with stress and anxiety among girls, available now.

In this sane, highly engaging, and informed guide for parents of daughters, Dr. Damour draws on decades of experience and the latest research to reveal the seven distinct - and absolutely normal - developmental transitions that turn girls into grown-ups, including parting with childhood, contending with adult authority, entering the romantic world, and caring for herself. Providing realistic scenarios and welcome advice on how to engage daughters in smart, constructive ways, Untangled gives parents a broad framework for understanding their daughters while addressing their most common questions, including:

  • My 13-year-old rolls her eyes when I try to talk to her and only does it more when I get angry with her about it. How should I respond?
  • Do I tell my teen daughter that I'm checking her phone?
  • My daughter suffers from test anxiety. What can I do to help her?
  • Where's the line between healthy eating and having an eating disorder?
  • My teenage daughter wants to know why I'm against pot when it's legal in some states. What should I say?
  • My daughter's friend is cutting herself. Do I call the girl's mother to let her know?

Perhaps most important, Untangled helps mothers and fathers understand, connect, and grow with their daughters. When parents know what makes their daughter tick, they can embrace and enjoy the challenge of raising a healthy, happy young woman.

Books for a Better Life Award winner.

“Finally, there’s some good news for puzzled parents of adolescent girls, and psychologist Lisa Damour is the bearer of that happy news. [Untangled] is the most down-to-earth, readable parenting book I’ve come across in a long time.” (The Washington Post)

“Anna Freud wrote in 1958, ‘There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves.’ In the intervening decades, the transition doesn’t appear to have gotten any easier which makes Untangled such a welcome new resource.” (The Boston Globe)

©2016 Lisa Damour (P)2016 Random House Audio
Relationships Teenagers Young Adult Mental Health Parenting Teens Teen Girls
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What the critics say

"For years people have been asking me for the 'girl equivalent of Raising Cain', and I haven't known exactly what to recommend. Now I do." (Michael Thompson, PhD, coauthor of Raising Cain)

"An essential guide to understanding and supporting girls throughout their development. It's obvious that Dr. Damour 'gets' girls and understands the best way for any adult to help them navigate the common yet difficult challenges so many girls face." (Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees & Wannabes)

"A gem. Damour deftly blends insights from her clinical experience working with girls, time-honored wisdom on adolescence, the latest social science and neuroscience research, and frank descriptions of cultural trends and media messages. From the moment I read the last page I've been recommending it to my clients (including those with sons!) and colleagues, and using it as a refreshing guide in my own work with teenagers and their parents." (Wendy Mogel, PhD, author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee)

What listeners say about Untangled

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Must read if you have a teen girl!

I related do so many areas of this book and believe the recommendations are realistic and easy to try. I have used some of the tips and have experienced great success.

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Great stuff!

Got a lot out of this book that I'll be using within my own family. Thank you Lisa. Was easy to listen to and understand!

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Very Helpful

Dr. Damour has some fantastic suggestions for navigating the difficult task of raising a tennaged daughter. I listened to it twice and got something additional out of it each time.

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Very good book

Very good book . I would recommended to all moms with teenager girls. Sweet voice to listen too.

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Spot on

This has really helped me understand my preteen daughter. I was really struggling with watching her grow up so fast and pushing us away. After listening to Untangled. I see that it’s all very normal and I feel much better now. I was feeling quite hurt by her actions until I understood that it’s all part of growing up. A must listen for anyone raising preteen/teenage girls.

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Must read for parents who have teenage girl

The books covers the main topics that each parents is looking for advice. It well explains the problem and then offers solutions.

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A game changer for parents of pre/ teenage girls.

I'm so grateful that I found this! I have already incorporated ideas from this book into my everyday interactions with my daughter, and it has made a noticeable, positive difference in how we both respond. I am now looking forward to the teenage years instead of being overly worried. Thank you so much Lisa!

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An eye- and heart-opening book. Thanks!

The author does an amazing job, breaking down complex concepts into every day language, interspersed with engaging examples and stories. I see myself and my 11-year old girl in so many ways!

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Highly recommend for parents of teen girls

This book gave great insight into the teenage mind, the examples were so on point….there were times I felt like the author was writing about my family! Practical guidance, and solid take always. This really helped me better understand my daughters and how I can best support them through their teens.

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I’m feeling less tangled!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. My pre teen girl is so special to me and now I feel I have a much better understanding of our new relationship. This book gives a clear and comprehensive way forward with your girl. Now when my daughter rolls her eyes at me I know she is right on track!
I’m going to re read this annually.

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