Us
Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
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Narrated by:
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Terrence Real
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Bruce Springsteen
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Written by:
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Terrence Real
About this listen
Stop working on yourself as an individual and start working on your relationship as a couple, with the help of the renowned family therapist and bestselling author of The New Rules of Marriage
“This book is a road map for all of us who seek true intimacy.”—GWYNETH PALTROW, founder and CEO of goop
Not much is harder than figuring out how to love your partner in all their messy humanness—and there’s also not much that’s more important.
At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools.
In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results: repetitive fights that go nowhere, or a distant relationship in which partners end up living “alone together.” With deft insight, humor, and charm, Real guides you to transform your relationship into one that’s based on compassion, collaboration, and closeness.
Us is a groundbreaking guide to a new science-backed skillset—one that will allow you to get past your knee-jerk reactions and tap into your wiser, more collaborative self. With a novelist’s flair, Real shares the stories of couples whose relationships have been saved by these skills and pans out to the culture that reinforces our dysfunction. If you and your partner are backed into separate corners of “you” and “me,” this book will show the way back to “us.” With Us, your true relationship can begin.
*Includes a downloadable PDF of charts and diagrams from the book
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2022 Terrence Real (P)2022 Random House AudioYou may also enjoy...
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What does it really mean to be a man? What are some of the landmarks along the road to mature masculinity? And what of the feminine components of a man's personality? Women have developed, over the centuries, considerable expertise in the technique of adapting to men, and for good reason, but that is not the same as truly understanding them. The transition from male childhood to real manhood is a complicated struggle, and explored in this book. As timely today as when it was first published, He provides a fascinating look into male identity and how female dynamics influence men.
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What the critics say
“It’s cliche to say Dr. Terry Real’s new book, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, changed the way I view every relationship in my life. But it’s true.”—Katie Couric Media
“[An] enveloping and insightful book . . . Real is a natural storyteller, pointed, jovial, and funny. If you’re struggling in your relationship and are open to hard truths, delivered with compassion and zero wasted time, Real is the ticket.”—Esquire (Best Wellness Books)
“Love has the power to hurt but it also has the power to heal, and Terry Real shows us how in this revolutionary guide to happy, thriving couplehood. Chock-full of wisdom, research, and innovative teachings, Us is the book every human should read in order to truly understand not just their partners, but themselves.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
What listeners say about Us
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Steven Rucekert
- 2025-01-14
changed my perspective on humanity as well as my relationship.
I started reading this book so that I could figure out how to be a better partner with my partner. what I realize is that this book directly translates into all aspects of humanity. you can either have a selfish mindset when it comes to everybody else around you or you can choose to grow and work together as a unit. you can apply that to a family unit. a couple in a relationship. a business. a country. The power of the "US" mentality will completely change your perspective.
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- Margot
- 2022-10-18
Harmony Discord & Repair….. getting past right and wrong….
This is a fantastic book. It helps create a road map to navigate through three states in relationship. When harmony is taken over by discord the book teaches us how to repair and return to harmony. It shows us how to remain calm and listen to an unhappy partner and gives constructive tips on how to speak our truth with generosity and a degree of elegance in those emotionally charged moments. Instead of just airing grievances it teaches us to ask for what we might need to make things better. And it helps us to do it without triggering our partners into defensively hijacking the conversation, keeping us stuck in discord…. It is a compassionate approach to understanding ourselves and our partners….Wow important stuff! Thank you Terry!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kevin-joel Coupland
- 2022-06-13
where is the "view PDF"
In the audio, Terry talks about the extras to view - so why isn't it provided? Is this a glitch? Please provide the accompanying PDF to go along with the audio - thanks
UPDATE: thanks for adding the PDF
I enjoyed Terry's latest book. He obviously has a great amount of experience and understanding while also exhibiting an openness to address his own possible blind spots. This is admirable.
Very helpful to me in my practice.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 2023-01-26
Highly recommend! Terry always has so much insight to give
Loved this book! Terry is a amazing therapist and even more amazing writer! Highly recommend if you want to do the work to better yourself
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- Amazon Customer
- 2023-01-29
love this so much
Terrance real changed my life and relationship. I can honestly say it changed my thinking right away.
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- Darcybowker
- 2023-01-16
I think my favourite yet!
I absolutely love the scenarios the REAL feedback Terry provides as a studying psychotherapist to say I’m obsessed with his work is an understatement
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- Amazon Customer
- 2022-07-02
I’m listening again…
The content of this book is so powerful that I’m starting again from the beginning. I want to ingest the teaching to hopefully improve my relationships—all relationships. Easy to understand and some very practical suggestions.
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- Anonymous User
- 2022-09-12
Great guide to 21st century marriage
Excellent book for couples that understand that marriage, coupleship, and intimacy takes hard work.
Many excellent examples of couples working through their issues with their pre-frontal brains engaged.
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- Brad
- 2022-06-22
Good therapeutic insights
Narration was very good and great clinical insights. Unfortunately the author was too left wing in some of his political views which detracted from the very theme of the book; relationships/US. Somewhat hypocritical, he appears to have missed the very point he was trying to make as most 'woke' virtue signaling people seem to do 🤔
But overall great insights, makes an valuable contribution to the importance of relationships and the need to see that we are in this together and hopefully in compassionate unity.
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- J. M. Sparrow
- 2023-01-20
Powerfully Insightful! A Must Read For Anyone Looking to Learn How To Grow and Improve ANY and EVERY Relationship
As both a couples counsellor and someone who is have relationship issues I have benefitted from this book in so many ways.
At first I found Terry’s tangents into more ecological and cultural perspectives distracting, however Terry masterfully weaves the information into the subject matter giving a depth a breadth that is both appreciable and useful. I also found these periodic shifts provided opportunity for what I had learned previously to settle in and not feel overwhelmed by it all.
I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone!
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