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When Darkness Falls, He Doesn't Catch It

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When Darkness Falls, He Doesn't Catch It

Written by: Ross Patterson
Narrated by: Ross Patterson
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About this listen

You’re goddamn right. I’m still sitting at the same weathered wooden table in the back of Manhattan’s oldest bar where I just finished my first masterpiece, At Night She Cries, While He Rides His Steed. The second I finished it, I started writing this one.

I’m now 14 beers deep, and I’ve polished off an entire eight ball of yay. The phrase “everything in moderation” applies to everything except cocaine, booze, and prostitutes. If you haven’t read my last book then you probably won’t f--cking understand anything in this book, so you should probably go buy that first and stop being poor. It’s f--cking gross.

Let’s get something straight, my life is so important that you should be grateful I’m even doing this. Seriously, do you know another motherf--cker like me? Me, neither. So let’s get down to brass.

In the last book, I told you that I was going to off myself after completing my life story. That still holds true. My trusty handgun is still loaded next to my Remington Rand typewriter that Hemingway pissed on, and you know the f--cking bartender isn’t going to cut me off, so I’m going to sit here and keep writing my memoirs until I finish. To answer your question: No, I haven’t gotten up for bathroom breaks. I just piss on the floor.

©2018 Ross Patterson (P)2018 Ross Patterson
Genre Fiction Literature & Fiction Fiction
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What listeners say about When Darkness Falls, He Doesn't Catch It

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an instant classic

hearing this book made my wife pregnant. it also cured my male pattern baldness. THANKS!!!!!

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simply Epic

simply epic, nothing like another tale from St James Street James. keep making these Ross and I'll keep buying them!

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Words can’t describe perfection

Words can describe perfection, but this book can. Can not wait till the next stjames stjames book comes out. Best book ever!

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Ross does it again

as the second book written by Ross Patterson, it had big shoes to fill, and boy did it do more than that, much much more

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So damn funny

This guy writes great stories and brings them to life with his telling of them. By far my favorite performances.
this is a laugh out loud riot of a raunchy book! Loved it!

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