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Whole Lotta Mistletoe

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Whole Lotta Mistletoe

Written by: Zac Jones
Narrated by: Ellen Quay
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About this listen

“Mistletoe’s a weed,” she would say. Then she inherited a mistletoe factory.

The life of Maria St. Nicholas seemed to be lifted from a generic Christmas movie. She was born and raised as an orphan in Mistletoe, Pennsylvania, home to the world’s only mistletoe factory. At 18, she left her hometown for New York with big dreams. Those dreams were dashed when her fiancé broke her heart on Christmas Eve. Now “Mistletoe’s a weed.” She buries herself in work, wine, and Christmas movies while in a rut deeper than the dent in her couch. Changes are in store this season when an old friend tracks her down with news; the owner of the mistletoe factory has died and left the factory to Maria.

Welcome to Mistletoe, Pennsylvania, where standard work attire is holiday flannel and steel toed boots, there’s an inflatable on every lawn, and “Happy Holidays” is an insult rather than a greeting. Join Maria on her journey with the help of some colorful characters, a nun with a penchant for high vocabulary, precocious orphans with a talent for espionage, an ex-boyfriend with a candy cane addiction who works as the factory foreman, and a local politician who wants to turn the factory into a luxury ski lodge. Will Maria find her yuletide mojo? Only in a town called Mistletoe.

Whole Lotta Mistletoe is both a satire and celebration of those holiday movies that require an extra dose of Christmas spirit to suspend our disbelief, whether we watch those movies on Hallmark, Netflix, Hulu, or GAC. Please enjoy responsibly with an ugly Christmas sweater.

©2022 Zac Jones (P)2022 Zac Jones
Fiction Genre Fiction Romantic Comedy Comedy Celebration Winter Christmas Romance Marijuana Heartfelt Witty Dream Pennsylvania
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