Episodes

  • Toulouse-Lautrec Ep 4: Onomatopoeia Slurping and Squishing Sounds
    Oct 25 2024
    Jinmaku! Jinmaku! Jinmaku! Go get’em buddy! My dude OWNS the makuuchi division. Also, if there’s one thing people should take away from this episode, is that William-Adolphe Bouguereau is a connoisseur of great asses and he would’ve loved the Jean-Claude Van Damme era of human history. This episode is quite the winding road, jam-packed with shenanigans, beaucoup cousin sex, and exploration of several art techniques and theories. As we navigate this road, we join an unexpected game show, I kick myself out of a few museums, 47 kitties take their revenge, we do science stuff, and mine a butte. Along the way, I make a decision on a segment that I’ll likely regret, Bonnat loves himself some Bonnat, and the Grandmothers grand plan runs into a few hiccups. Honestly, I don’t know how to explain this episode, this one really flies off the rails. The chaos probably starts when Florida comes into the picture and ends when I have impure thoughts about someone in a painting. The good news is, Paul Harvey makes a cameo appearance, because I force him in with a shoehorn, and that makes me happy.
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    4 hrs and 13 mins
  • Toulouse-Lautrec Ep 3: Tapajou, le Petit
    Oct 25 2024
    Henri, Adele, Alphonse, Dead Gary, Odon, Napoleon III, the Grandmothers, Alix, Amédée, MIT Math Nerd Steve (from Pollock), Charles, Piss Pons, the Black Prince… We. Are. Back! Along with several additions to our colorful cast of characters. Is it really a Semaine Sanglante if you can’t trust how much sanglante was spilled in the semaine? Why are that German man’s balls on your grandmother’s armrest? What’s a zoo for, if not to provide for a fancy Françoise Massialot-inspired menu? Can we ever truly understand why Alph does any of the things Alph does? Will we finally get closure in the Legend of Dead Gary?! These questions will be answered and much much more! Henri goes to school, Napoleon III misjudges everyone’s bulges, a cartoon raccoon attacks a cartoon basset hound for no clear reason, and a children’s playground becomes the scene of unimaginable horrors.
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    3 hrs and 10 mins
  • Toulouse-Lautrec Ep 2: Meet the Toulouse-Lautrec-Montfas, du Boscs, and Tapié de Céleyrans
    Nov 17 2022

    Our adventure begins with the Grandmothers, a footnoted sister, more mounted heads than fireplaces (which is saying something), and some thick-ass man-thighs.

    As we make our way through French history, we'll learn about why Paris was an "immense workshop of putrefaction," take the most horrifying raft ride of all time, get Gothic and emo with a spicy lady named Germaine, and ponder whose day that small newsie boy just ruined.

    Along the way, I mess up the same joke twice, tell an inappropriate story, and make us all do a thought experiment that, in retrospect, might not have been necessary.

    What did those three brothers do? When is the best time to take an unexpected hunting trip? What happens if your bird goes to hell? We'll discuss. And, we'll have a Merrrrrrry Christmas in the Languedoc. Two of them; two Merrrrrry Christmases. Yay!

    I swear, I'm fine. All of this is healthy.

    patreon.com/artholes

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    3 hrs
  • Toulouse-Lautrec Ep 1: But, First... A Tale of French Lineage in Three Acts
    Jul 8 2022

    Before we begin the Toulouse-Lautrec journey, we of course need a 5 hour fever dream of French history. It only took me one episode in this series for me to lose my mind, so that's pretty exciting :)

    Act I: Entirely Too Many Louis

    Act II: Little Internal Structures

    Act III: It's a Family Affair

    Primary Sources

    Toulouse-Lautrec: A Life, by Julia Frey

    Toulouse-Lautrec, by Gerstile Mack

    Toulouse-Lautrec, by Henri Perruchot

    The Unpublished Correspondence of Toulouse-Lautrec

    A History of France, by John Julius Norwich

    A History of France, by Joseph Bergman

    The Industrial Revolution in France (1815-1848), by Arthur Louis Dunham

    Dawn of the Belle Epoque, by Mary McCauliffe

    Fashioning the Bourgeoise, by Phillip Perrot

    The Art of Cuisine, by Maurice Joyant and Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

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    5 hrs and 33 mins
  • Frida Kahlo Ep 7 of 7: Viva la Vida
    Feb 10 2021

    In the Frida finale, we alternate between having lots of fun and exploring the cavernous depths of human suffering. But we also have fun? If you're here at the end, thank you so, so much for taking this entire weird journey with me. This really has been a life-changing project for me. Seriously, though, we will have some fun. Also, it gets sad. Like, really sad.

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    2 hrs and 28 mins
  • Frida Kahlo Ep 6 of 7: Parrots, Turkeys, and Russian Roosters...Oh My!
    Feb 10 2021

    In what was supposed to be the finale, but instead turned into the episode before the finale, we learn quite a bit. Really, we learn too much. About neckerchiefs, turkeys, monotheism, Val Kilmer, making still life paintings look like porn, broken columns and wounded deer, and the Golden Age of Mexican Cinema. Along the way, Frida puts it on a German guy, takes a surprising new job, decorates a pulqueria, and makes a desperate choice when it comes to her health.

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    2 hrs and 41 mins
  • Frida Kahlo Ep 5 of 7: до свида́ния
    Jun 9 2020

    The episode that broke me.

    11/28 update: two-parter finale is on the way soon. Apologies for the delay, it's been a crazy few months and anything under 4 hours for the finale would've been a crime.

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    2 hrs and 55 mins
  • Frida Kahlo Ep 4 of 7: The Moment You Realize You're Pregnant
    Mar 24 2020
    In a rollercoaster of an episode, we learn about mural negotiations, chicken salad sandwiches that curb masturbation, and which type of gringo is worst. Along the way, we’ll figure out which type of baby is cutest, how to freak out journalists with candy, and meet a true best friend. Frida is more of a passenger than a driver in this episode. In the time period we cover, she begins as a doting wife, roommate, and travel companion. By the time we’re done, she’ll have tested the boundaries of pain and loss, on her way to becoming someone who will change the world
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    1 hr and 42 mins