Ask Your Mother

Written by: Dr. Cristie Ritz-King
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  • Summary

  • Cristie Ritz-King, a mental health counselor, explores the topics people want to talk about but often don't for a variety of reasons like shame, embarrassment or fear. She talks to guests about how to have these conversations and the freedom and growth that can come when we share our stories and bravely talk together.
    ©2023
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Children's Audiobooks Hygiene & Healthy Living Parenting & Families Psychology Relationships
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Episodes
  • 15: The Final Episode

    15: The Final Episode
    Nov 6 2023

    This episode marks a significant shift in our podcast journey. 

    When it all began in a Miami hotel room back in January 2020, little did I know how my endeavor would evolve, becoming a lifeline of connection and support for both listeners and myself during the pandemic.

    Our mission for the podcast - to support and assist moms and caregivers, has remained constant throughout. We have tackled diverse questions and adapted to changing circumstances, providing support and calm in stormy times. Now, we are moving in a new direction to allow our message of love and kindness to reach a broader audience.

    Rest assured, we are not going anywhere. The name will change to Am I a Bad Mom, but the essence of the podcast will remain. We will be back more frequently with weekly episodes and video recordings offering a more personal look into my life. 

    Please join us as we enter the world of Am I a Bad Mom and continue exploring all your questions and challenges. 

    What Am I Noticing?

    A recurring theme I have been noticing lately among the women I work with is that, regardless of their success, bravery, accomplishments, or confidence, they keep on questioning if they are bad moms for various reasons. That common thread inspired me to shift the focus of our podcast. You will still find us on all the usual podcast platforms and my website under the new title, Am I a Bad Mom Podcast with Dr. Cristie Ritz-King. I invite you to subscribe, leave a review, and share with others who have asked themselves the very same question. 

    Thank you for your unwavering support on this journey. It means the world to me! Know that I am sending you my love!

    Links and resources:

    Connect with me on my website

    Women of Wonder (W.o.W) Founding Members

    Information for Women of Wonder (W.o.W) Community 

    W.o.W Landing Page
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    9 mins
  • 14: Life After Death with Keela Fowler

    14: Life After Death with Keela Fowler
    Oct 30 2023
      I am delighted to have a Keela Fowler joining me today to dive into a topic near and dear to both of our hearts and answer a question many of you have been curious about: what happens after losing someone you love?  Death can be a catastrophic experience, and it is only natural to wonder when the pain will subside, when the healing will begin, and how life will continue. Keela and I share the common bond of losing our mothers, although our losses occurred at different stages of life.  In this episode, we share our experiences, provide insights, and offer a glimpse into the complex territory of coping with life after the death of someone we love. While we cannot predict your unique journey, we hope to shed some light on the path of life after loss. About Keela Keela Fowler is a creative person with many different identities. She is a business strategist and former teacher, in addition to being an aunt, a sister, and a daughter who experienced an unexpected loss when her mother passed away in her sleep about five years ago. Since then, she has embarked on a learning journey while transitioning through processing her grief.  The Benefits of Continuing Therapy   Therapy has been a positive experience in Keela’s life. She believes that therapy can benefit everyone because it helps us learn more about ourselves and how we interact with the world and others.  How Grief Evolves Keela’s loss used to feel overwhelming and all-encompassing, dominating her thoughts from morning until night. However, with time, her coping strategies have shifted that perception. Loss is no longer her first and last thought each day. Supporting Others Through Grief  Supporting others through their grief gave Keela a deeper understanding of loss. It allowed her to grasp the uniqueness of each grief journey and realize that no one can fully understand or replicate the emotional experience of anyone else. Choosing to Feel Differently  We can choose to feel differently about grief. Keela grappled with the notion that letting go of the intensity of grief might betray her love for her late mother until she consciously decided to heal and move forward in life. Self-Validation Cultivating self-validation is essential, especially when we have nobody to offer support. Finding a healthy source of validation is a crucial aspect of healing. Talking About Lost Loved Ones We can keep the memory of our loved ones alive by talking about them. In doing so, we must remember the good things and discuss the fullness of who they were, including their quirks and less favorable traits.  Coping with Grief  After losing someone we love, we must allow the full range of emotions to wash over us. We may find it hard to explain our grief to others, so we should avoid trying to find a silver lining or making sense of things that do not make sense. Holding Emotion and Functionality Together It can be challenging to balance intense emotions like grief while continuing our daily tasks and responsibilities. We need to recognize that some people can be sad and grieving while still being able to fulfill all their duties. Owning Our Emotions The ability to own and understand our feelings is crucial when navigating grief and interpersonal relationships.  Fear of Losing Control  The quest for control can impede moving through grief. We must do our best to keep things stable after a significant loss and understand that we never have any control over what will happen. Grief is Love  It may be helpful to understand that grief is love with nowhere to go. We can still find moments of laughter and happiness, even while missing someone we love, because grief evolves and can coexist with joy. Nurturing a Connection with the Deceased  It may help us feel closer to our deceased loved ones if we talk to them as if they were still present or incorporate some of their qualities into our lives and interactions to carry their positive legacy forward. Various Stages of Grief Grief has various stages. So, we may feel different emotions at different times. All we need to do is allow ourselves to fully experience all our feelings without judging ourselves for having them. Links and resources: Women of Wonder (W.o.W) Founding Members Information for Women of Wonder (W.o.W) Community  W.o.W Landing Page
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    1 hr and 11 mins
  • 13: Halloween and Kids' Anxiety

    13: Halloween and Kids' Anxiety
    Oct 23 2023
    Today, I aim to present a novel perspective on Halloween inspired by the numerous questions I have received. The question we are tackling today is, what should a parent do if Halloween is not what their child wants? This issue usually centers on the apprehensions kids may feel about Halloween, kids who do not enjoy the Halloween experience, exceptional kids, or children on the spectrum. But it could also happen in kids with no diagnosable reason why Halloween would be challenging. In those situations, I always feel it is best to revert to the principles I repeatedly emphasize in explicit parenting. If you are unfamiliar with the term, explicit parenting refers to my distilled philosophy on the challenges of raising children. I purposely chose the term explicit to highlight how that kind of parenting differs from implicit, hidden, or assumed parenting methods.  I will share my personal experiences along the way, as we explore this topic. Understanding Co-Regulation with Children Co-regulation involves the creation of a partnership with your child to help them manage their emotions. The first step is to know yourself and understand your triggers and expectations because self-awareness is essential for effective co-regulation. Co-regulation is the process of working together with your child to navigate their emotional world. It means being attuned to their feelings, creating a safe space for expression, and guiding them towards emotional balance. By knowing yourself and your triggers, you can provide better support and understand how your reactions can influence your child's emotional regulation. Setting Realistic Expectations Another crucial aspect is setting realistic expectations. Sometimes, what I envision may not be best for my child. That is why it is essential to acknowledge and accommodate their perspective. Being a supportive parent involves understanding that your child's needs and experiences may not always align with your desires or expectations. Being open to their unique perspective allows us to build a healthier and more harmonious parent-child relationship. Active Listening and Curiosity Active listening, or curiosity, is a cornerstone of co-regulation. Understanding your child's perspective is pivotal for building a strong parent-child bond and fostering healthy emotional development. Active listening involves not just hearing their words but also paying attention to their body language, tone of voice, and unspoken emotions. Being genuinely curious about your kids thoughts and feelings allows you to create an environment where they feel heard and understood. Consistency, Persistence, and Explicitness Consistency and persistence are key components of co-regulation. It is essential to be consistent and supportive when guiding our children. Co-regulation is an ongoing process that requires persistence to create a stable and reliable presence for your child. When we make mistakes or react in ways that are not helpful, it is essential to explicitly acknowledge it, apologize, and work together to repair any emotional ruptures. That teaches children that it is okay to make mistakes and struggle emotionally sometimes. It also shows them that relationships can withstand moments of imperfection. Granting Yourself Grace Co-regulation does not require perfection. It is natural to feel sadness or guilt when expectations do not get met. However, it is crucial to understand that it is okay to grieve our expectations and move forward with a deeper self-awareness, ultimately creating a healthier parent-child dynamic. Parents often put immense pressure on themselves to be flawless in their parenting. However, this is unrealistic and can lead to guilt and self-criticism. Granting yourself grace means acknowledging that you are doing your best, even when things do not go as planned. Grace is an act of self-compassion, helping us to understand that moments of struggle or disappointment do not define our value as parents.   What Am I Noticing? Several summers ago, I underwent major surgery, which led to significant weight gain and a profound disconnect from my body. My path to reconnecting with my body took an unexpected turn when I stumbled upon two unique tarot decks that offered me a fresh perspective.  I was scrolling through Instagram when I stumbled upon a friend I had met through various networking groups. She had posted a picture of herself conducting tarot card readings, but what caught my eye was the unique tarot deck she was using. It was one I had never encountered before, based on the human physical body. The first one is Be with Your Body Tarot, created by the writer Sarah Jean Chapman and illustrated by Sara Strese. It is a visually stunning deck that veers away from traditional tarot symbolism like pentacles and cups, replacing them with body parts like eyes, feet, hands, and hips. While retaining the major arcana, this deck encourages a deep relationship with your physical body, even ...
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    30 mins

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