#17 – Why Setting Boundaries Is So Hard - Part I

The Wendy M. Johnson Show

Why is setting boundaries so hard and what barriers stop you from speaking up? Letting go of your ‘old roles,’ separating yourself from the abuse, and finding your true authentic self is vital to learning how to set boundaries.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone said something offensive to you and you did not know how to respond? And there was that awkward pause in the conversation.

Or maybe it happens to you a lot and you don’t know why. Well, get ready because this episode goes deep into what holds you back from setting boundaries and it’s not just about knowing the right words to say, it’s much deeper than that.

Let’s be honest, the thought of setting boundaries is uncomfortable for anyone, and especially for survivors. You might think it is so much easier not to say anything and continue to let others treat you horribly but actually that route takes so much more effort and diminishes your self-worth.

At the end of the day, people just want to feel they are respected in all their relationships, but why is it so hard, especially for survivors?

In this episode, which is part I of a 2-part series, I reveal what barriers stop you from setting boundaries, and dive deep into how the ‘roles’ you took on after the abuse affect you, how a victim identity can overshadow asserting your needs and why tapping into your authentic self helps you to set clear boundaries.

Today, you will hear about:

- [2:43] The boundaries we set or don’t set showcase the insecurities and strengths we feel.

- [8:32] If you blame yourself for the abuse then it is really hard to set boundaries … because you start to see yourself as the problem in arguments, disagreements, misunderstandings.

- [16:08] The Struggle with a victim identity is that as a survivor you can often internalize the role of a victim, … When you view yourself primarily through the lens of your victimization, it becomes challenging to assert your needs and limits.

- [20:38] …You will find setting boundaries to be more comfortable because you will have a healthier self-worth and that brings about self-respect and when you respect yourself, you will respect your needs and how to express them.

- [24:19] You can control how others treat you now as an adult by healing and restoring your self-worth.

Listen in, get ready to take some notes, and get ready for your next breakthrough learning about why setting boundaries is so hard!

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Download:

HEAL® Setting Boundaries Form