Think Man City are bottom of the Champions League yet? Nooope, there’s always more table.

However, they’re not bloody far off after a dramatic collapse against PSG. Pete and Luke react to an extraordinary second half at the Parc des Princes, which left us rubbing our thighs in excitement and unfortunately ripping up all the chat about the Corn Laws that we had planned.

So before you put Mikel Arteta’s samba playlist on, come join us first for all the reaction!

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Marcus, Luke and Jim have plenty of midweek mulch to wade through as this weird Champions League gameshow rolls on with Liverpool still top of the pile. Do they get a trophy?

In diplomatic matters elsewhere, Jonjo Shelvey makes a triumphant return to English football and Gianni Infantino makes a triumphant return to his usual buffoonery. Plus, Benfica and Barcelona play out one of the craziest games you’ll ever see!

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Marcus and Vish check in after Chelsea finally get a decent league win, with Trevoh Chalobah’s classy return to the Bridge proving very timely - even if Noni Madueke nicked his goal from inside a yard out. Poor, that.

They wonder if this represents a return to form for the Blues or if there’s still a bit of the basket case about them. Plus, Wolves’ insistence on just doing the fun stuff could prove fatal as their collection of spicy ballplayers can’t seem to play it safe.

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Everton looked completely resurrected under David Moyes. Is he really the Moyesiah or are Tottenham just very naughty boys?

Elsewhere, Marcus, Jim, Vish and Pete believe that Bournemouth could have put in the best Premier League performance of the season to dispatch Newcastle. Plus, Marcus’ Emi Martinez moment is now going global. You love to see it!

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Hasn't it been lovely to see David Moyes back in the dugout at Goodison Park? But is it actually a good idea for a club to re-appoint a manager from years gone by?

Once Marcus, Jim and Andy have pondered on that, they ask whether TV companies are focussing too much on clipable content. Plus, in the next edition of Richard Keys' Bond films, who's going to be the Bond villain?

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Man United were so close to forgetting to print their Southampton voucher before Amad Diallo saved the day. It's a shame really…

Although Vish doesn't think so. Today, he, Marcus, Jim and Andy share another update from Lazio’s fake phallus fondling falconer and Fizzer tries to motivate his team ahead of the new MLS season. Plus, Vish puts both belts on the line in Jack’s Encyclopaedia.

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Luke and Andy jump on the mics after Arsenal made off with the three points in north London – partly thanks to Spurs’ makeshift defence behaving very makeshift-y again and partly thanks to Gabriel’s magnetic bonce.

We wonder whether Arsenal’s Brazilian centre half is the best player in the league in both boxes and ask whether Mikel Arteta’s men are still convincing us at all. Poor old Kai Havertz certainly isn’t. On the upside for Spurs, their keeper Antonin Kinsky provided us with one of the best pieces of skill of the season…

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Nottingham Forest are the most organised team in the league according to Luke Moore. Today, Marcus, Luke, Andy and Jim are full of praise - and thanks - for the Tricky Trees after they kept the title race just about alive against Liverpool last night.

Elsewhere, Andy shares his wish for Pep Guardiola to end the suffering and leave Man City. Plus, what do the Lazio eagle handler and Pelé have in common? Listen to find out...

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