Episodes

  • PROTEIN BABIES
    Feb 11 2025

    Chaney is back from Costa Rica with a taste for termites and tales of date nights. “Ice Age” brings up different memories, and yes, they're traumatic ones. Lady Gaga’s new single “Abracadabra” makes their hearts disappear. Robert rattles off Chaney’s new sayings with love and he receives a gift in return. Cancelled celebs they still love, Gob Bluth’s hotness, and Janelle Monae’s Grammy performance bring blushes to faces in this episode. Robert wears discount underwear and Chaney won’t reveal the price of their Nikes.

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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • ENIGMAS & SEXERCISE
    Jan 28 2025

    So many topics are covered their lips went dry. (Nothing a cup of Saltburn bathwater couldn’t fix). Aaron Rodgers proves the common fact of mismatches in couple’s hotness. Bite into Zach Braff’s movie credits, while Chaney and Robert watch the women of RHONY bite drunkenly into lots of meals. Robert gives a review of Beetlejuice. Chaney gives Buzz Lightyear a chance. You’ll learn the sexiest age to die, Ben Stiller’s surprise role, and exactly what Chappell Roan’s tramp stamp actually says.

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    46 mins
  • HAND STUFF
    Jan 14 2025

    What genre of music does Jessica Biel like best? Hint: Reggae. This episode is going to slap better than a Bradley Cooper steak and cheese. The pair finally breaks the ice on Justin Timberlake’s drunk driving arrest, and a small wardrobe malfunction. Frankie, the dog, finds out who her real parents are. Robert, the man, declares a new father figure. Chaney stans for Jaden Smith- will Robert’s mind change? A movie star comes out of the closet. Robert sneaks into “The Substance” and Chaney plans bringing tissues to “Othello”. This is truly the only New York podcast!


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    47 mins
  • THE BOYS ARE BACK
    Dec 31 2024

    After 8 long months, they’re back! Robert learns new "names" while moonlighting at Starbucks. Chaney’s name changes...and so does Robert’s shirt after they both sweat it out over the women in Goodfellas. Aaron Rodger’s thighs catch Chaney’s eyes. And his necklace steals the show as they recap, “Enigma”. During the ep, you’ll learn how to sneak liquor into a Blink-182 show. Listen to the end to find out if Robert ever picked up that 16 dollars from Beacons Closet?

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    46 mins
  • BEACONS CLOSETED
    May 21 2024
    Please listen to Robert get robbed by selling his clothes to a nearby thrift store. Chaney reveals they do not want their soul to go on when they die and would rather come back as a song. They talk about Colleen, James Franco’s return to public and the person that asked Robert out on a date telepathically.
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    35 mins
  • THIS ISN’T JUNO!
    May 14 2024
    It’s the day after 4/20, so Robert and Chaney are not responsible for what they say! Robert sells his clothes at Buffalo Exchange in exchange for some knowledge of Japanese Strawberries provided by Jock, Chaney. These scumbags talk about the decline of music videos, tax evasion, and more. “Maskerbation” might even be involved when it comes to a certain masked hero’s (Spider-Man) nemesis in the sequel of the hit franchise. So please, Doctor OctoPUT your phone in your pocket and take a stroll through Central Park with the Joker and the Smoker.
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    44 mins
  • ALTOS ARE SKANKS
    May 7 2024
    Take a peek behind the stage curtain as Robert dives deep into the drama of being involved in a high school choir. (This is like if “Mean Girls” drank a Red Bull). Robert steals antibiotics from the dentist. Obama embarrasses himself. RG gives a one episode review of Love is Blind and Chaney reveals a type they find sexy. Hint: it’s Chaney, come on
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    44 mins
  • WHO WOULD YOU FUCK IN HEAVEN? FT. JO G
    Apr 30 2024
    Robert and Chaney's best friend, Jo(ck) G, makes a surprise appearance in the studio. Robert learns K-Stew is full Gay-Stew. You’ll find out Jo’s favorite personal stalker and what it’s like to get a lot of ass. Queen Latifah and her Queen come out on our show. Which way we would let Stephen king kill us?
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    1 hr and 3 mins