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Simon shows up late so Lee bangs on fabulously. But then they talk about how much time we spend in our bodies (versus in our heads) and whether it's possible to spend too much time (in our bodies).

Things covered: Lee gets going by himself while waiting for Simon to show up (late), if only dogs could talk, Saturday Night Live, Lee failed to plug in his microphone (up until 06:50mins), needing a checklist and checking them off, Heaven songs, spending time in your body, spending too much time in your body, what it means to be 'in your body', different from using your body, physical labour, noticing your body from the inside as opposed to how your body looks, Simon agrees with himself, over sensitivity to what is going on in your body, a joke coming down the pike (not masturbation), paying too much attention to one's self and to others (say when someone is walking towards you), sensitivity to others when teaching, when we are aware of our bodies, Lee's impinged neck nerve, ibuprofen, Lee spending a lot of time ranking things (in his job), Simon sitting on a ball all day, more on consent and yoga (it really happened), the problem of not spending enough time in our bodies, not having computers in meetings, getting rid of desks and chairs, sending emails during meetings, Dilit school in Rome (and the choreography of chairs).

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee and Simon talk about becoming experts (in knitting), reducing screentime and nostalgia for things we have never experienced. Warning: episode includes SPOILERS for the film Conclave.

Things covered: Knitting update from Lee, maintaining the intensity of a hobby, well-being and knitting, novices, expertise and thinking, changing sides while teaching a dance class, being the best in a (yoga) class, the slowness of learning a new skill, Lee being a slow study, knitting becoming a meditation, being distracted from stress, much less screentime, knitting in bed, spending less time on our phones is a really good thing, using a phone to talk to people, anemoia, millenials being nostalgic for the time before smartphones existed, how rare videos were in the 1990s, our conversations were not recorded, audio recording from 1977 of watching Star Wars at the cinema, the complexity of growing up with smartphones, Lee watched Conclave (his homework) -- WARNING spoilers included (but not written here), Gabrielle Eastwood-Ellis as a woman in the Catholic Church, Lee finds a new Chicken Restaurant, being a chicken in Portugal, many restaurants at the bottom of Bob and Lee's road in Portugal, gentrification, Simon participates in a yoga class, consent to touch in a yoga class.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee and Simon go on a typically chaotic ride that is tricky to summarise other than they catch up. Just read below.

Things covered: Lee takes up knitting, the latest on Mark Zuckerberg, Badly Drawn Boy's Pissing in the Wind, Lee's knitting sticks, reducing screen time, finding a hobby that isn't reading, Lee's year of not buying anything, Simon's recording mishap, screentime by proxy, finger knitting, Lee travelling the globe (Portugal) in a mini-van, taking knitting needles on a plane, Hannibal Lecter, dog muzzles, Simon saw two films with John Lithgow (Footloose, Conclave) and Lee guesses the first very quickly, The World According to Garp, The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai, the overlap in Simon and Lee's taste, Conclave (no spoilers), David Lynch's death and his films, Lee remembers Victoria Wood's death, Eraserhead, The Elephant Man, Ecosia (search engine), changing which side of the bed you sleep on, lying on top of Bob, body temperature, people with English as a second language, true facts, no content at the 23min mark, Lil's Permesso di soggiorno, three suitcases full of cash in Sardegna, there's many a slip between cup and lip, not gifting the suitcases, man with a van, how best to get stuff from Coventry to Sassari (and the emotional implications), paying customs, Brexit, not having two of everything and doing it all in one fell swoop, one's forever home, second-hand things, number of phone pickups a day, not even real bodies, Tim Cook paying $1m to Donald Trump's inauguration, Elon (doesn't get a mention), knitting for weeks, touching dough too much when you are learning.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee and Simon continue their conversation with Matthew Onarheim-Smith about his experiences of depression.

Apologies for Simon's mic level.

Things covered: Agency and depression, ketamine treatment (not officially approved for depression), the patterns of depression, combined with talk therapy, failure, shame and hope, Thich Naht Hahn and hope, out of body experiences, living with depression (or chronic pain), acceptance, Uroskolen, bringing yourself to the feelings you want to run away from, the narratives we tell ourselves, not being our thoughts, others hearing our stories, buying into our personal stories, seeking help, interbeing, despair that is shared, not knowing the feeling (of depression), seeking solitude, Matthew's generosity and gentility, how best to help, more on seeking help.
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Related links (and necessary corrections):

• coping with depression: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/cope-with-depression/
• Self-care for depression: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/self-care/
• Mental Health Foundation: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/depression
• men and depression: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/men-and-mental-health
• Matthew's "Moving Dad" YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@amovingdad1310
• Matthew's "Moving Dad" Instagram channel: https://www.instagram.com/amovingdad
• Uroskolen https://www.uroskolen.no/

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee and Simon bring on their first ever (official) guest – Matthew Onarheim-Smith – to talk about his experiences of depression.

Apologies for Simon's mic level.

Things covered: Introducing Matthew Onarheim-Smith, Quick by Shona McCullagh, annoying songs, driving with Simon, flirting with depression, entering the conversation with a plan of what to discuss, having a relationship with depression, not feeling good and recognising something is wrong, sound trauma in Vienna, tinnitus, stress as a destabiliser, feeling free, the sensation of depression, thought loops and identifying with those thoughts, Uroskolen (the angst school), courage in discussing depression, shame and stigma, gender and shame, Lee making ginger-bread and going to bed early, Trevor Noah, ADHD and being raised by women, Bette Midler and talking about me, resistance to discussing depression, suicidal ideation, NZ men, dance as a place inhabited mostly by women, men bonding by sharing an activity, showing weaknesses and flaws, dancing for Shona Dunlop-McTavish (and the fertility dance), the feeling of talking about depression.

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Related links (and necessary corrections):

• coping with depression: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/cope-with-depression/
• Self-care for depression: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/depression/self-care/
• Mental Health Foundation: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/depression
• men and depression: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/a-z-topics/men-and-mental-health
• Matthew's "Moving Dad" YouTube channel: https://youtube.com/@amovingdad1310
• Matthew's "Moving Dad" Instagram channel: https://www.instagram.com/amovingdad
• Uroskolen https://www.uroskolen.no/

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee and Simon catch up a bit before Lee discusses having his testicles scanned. Yes. Scanned.

Things covered: Waking up from a nap, staying up late, snow on the ground, 2025, Lee has visitors from Alice Springs, the size of Alice Springs, Alice Sings (a choir), Simon spoiling a surprise party, baby in the house, Lee's nextdoor neighbour Jill, time keeps on ticking, Lee has a lump on his testicles and had them scanned, man-sized tissues, the NHS, Finn needs to check his balls (men aged 17-35), Lil makes an appearance, testicular cancer, the machinations of a testicular scan, superficial lumps, Lee's history with problematic balls, epididymitis, varicocele, making jokes when anxious, Lee is fine, self-diagnosis, epididymal cyst, the diagnosis, manual palpation, hospital in Ashburton, who we turn to or call when we are sick (and/or scared).

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee and Simon talk about being sensitive (or not) to others and Lee had a conversation with his Dad about politics (spoiler: changing what we watch and read changes what we think and believe).

Things covered: Queen at Live Aid (1985), Lee has been having a lot of fun, Simon is not a big drinker, Simon and Lil's cocktail phase, Gimlets, Lee helping the Portuguese government (not really), having fun vicariously, Queen being big in Italy, Pink Floyd, I don't like mondays, Bob Geldof, Happy Salmon, Do They Know It's Christmas "documentary", Midge Ure, Boomtown Rats, The Golden Girls, Sting's haircut in Band Aid, films with "gold" in the title, sneezing then blowing your nose, covering your mouth when your cough (or not), what we did and didn't learn from the pandemic, bodily policing, our capacity to be sensitive to others, Lee's Dad's politics, bootstrapping, first-hand evidence, Socialism, Lee reading Marx to his Dad, Norman's media diet has changed, changing what we watch and listen to changes the way we see the world, flaming aetheism, Darth Vader giving Lee a car, Lee "Strident" Miller, turning their frowns upside down, Happy New Year!

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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Lee and Simon enter the Christmas spirit by discussing fart walking. Simon reads Lee a brief story, they discuss a plan to move things and Lee has an airport encounter.

Things covered: Determination to continue, Simon being a Christmas grinch, saying Happy Solstice, putting clothes down in different rooms, Lee in Portugal (hence poppy microphone), fart walking, Bob Whalley's suggestions (and drunken guest appearance), flight attendants' crop dusting, David Sedaris stories (sadness and meanness), not talking to people on airplanes, post-prandial walks, reading a (bread) story to Lee, the song of sourdough, Simon has a follower (no that's not right, it's Lil), physical (analogue) emojis, getting stuff (and what stuff) from Coventry to Sardegna, the first item on a list, emptying your pockets as you go through security, Lee gets a pat down in airport security, back to back meetings in full sun, the tupperware container sky in the UK, a Friends episode (doing things slowly = sexier), airport feedback, smelly toilets (which is how they are supposed to be), Bob asking L&S to do ASMR, cooking for guests in Lisbon, porridge cooked overnight, Bob and Lee going to a restaurant for Christmas.

Get in touch with Lee and Simon at info@midlifing.net.

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