Today I welcome my friend Lily (they/them) to the podcast! We have a lot in common and share our passion for 12 Step recovery. Lily entered the rooms of our fellowship at the ripe age of 12, following an incident with their dad that brought up a lot of repressed memories and pain. Lily shares how the program supported them to move through deep pain and grief in the relationship with their alcoholic father, and how over time in recovery they were able to shift out of self-pity and change their perspective. Today Lily is incredibly grateful to be able to have a loving and fulfilling relationship with their dad. We also talk a lot about our personal Higher Powers/God. Lily shares how their relationship with God continues to expand and support them in all their creative endeavours.

Episode breakdown:

• In their early teenage years, Lily became aware of all of their pain that had accumulated over the years. They turned to 12 Step recovery as a way to make sense of and process the pain that had begun to negatively affect their quality of life.
• In 12 Step meetings, Lily was attracted to the honesty and vulnerability present in people’s shares. Like me, Lily had been searching for intimacy in the wrong places.
• In meetings Lily felt seen and accepted for who they were. They felt held and supported in their pain, which caused them to keep coming back.
• Lily used to hate and resent their dad due to his inappropriate behaviour in their relationship. They share how they took responsibility for themselves, were able to move through their self-pity and deep pain, eventually becoming willing to reconnect with their dad.
• I share my experience reconnecting with my dad a few years ago, and why I believe that deep down we just want to love our family members.
• Lily first resisted the concept of alcoholism being a disease. They explain how viewing alcoholism as a disease supported their healing and their relationship with their dad.
• Lily shares how they were able to surrender to their pain, finding the beauty in grief and discovering the powerful lessons their Higher Power had waiting for them.
• We talk about the freedom we experience as a result of moving through our pain.
• Lily shares an experience they had which expanded their understanding of their Higher Powers.
• We talk about our program and why everyone is free to choose their own concept of a Higher Power/God.

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Book reference: Dear Senthuran by Akwaeke Emezi

Thank you for listening! If you resonate with this episode, want to know more about Lily's story, would like to know more about the 12 Step recovery program we are in, or have any other comments or questions, I’d love to hear from you! Please send me an email at morewillberevealed.podcast@gmail.com

Lots of love,

Josephine

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today’s episode deals with themes of grief and loss, as well as wonder and awe. My dear friend and sponsee, Pamina, lost her mum to alcoholism earlier this year. At the time, Pamina was beginning her 12 Step recovery journey and building a relationship with her Higher Power. Her mum’s death came unexpectedly, and resulted in Pamina being thrown in the deep end…

In this episode, Pamina vulnerably shares her story with us: her experience in early recovery as an atheist, what changed, and how the program supported her before, during and after her mum’s death. Despite knowing the details of her story already, this incredibly intimate conversation had me in almost constant goosebumps. Pamina’s experiences are deeply humbling and inspiring. She shares what her last words to her mum were and why she is immensely grateful to be in 12 Step recovery, how she is moving through layers of grief, how her relationship with her mum has not only healed but deepened, even in death, and how her Higher Power continues to show up for her again, and again, and again.

This episode is deeply moving. I will not do it the disservice to break it down into bullet points.

If you are suffering from the effects of someone’s alcoholism/addiction, or if you want to get a feel for the genuine miracles that occur in 12 Step recovery, I highly suggest you listen to this episode - but don’t forget the tissues!

If you resonate with this episode, want to know more about Pamina’s story, would like to know more about the 12 Step recovery program we are in, or have any other comments or questions, I’d love to hear from you! Please send me an email at morewillberevealed.podcast@gmail.com

Lots and lots of love,

Josephine

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today I am introducing you to my boyfriend Dejan! In this episode Dejan opens up about the journey he has been on to take full responsibility for his mental, emotional and financial wellbeing. He shares vulnerably about the ways in which he used to distance himself from and deny his problems, how he was finally able to face reality, and which steps he took to take full accountability for his life and show up in our relationship as an equal partner.

Episode breakdown:

• Dejan shares how our relationship created a catalyst for change. Questions I asked him caused him to consider things he hadn’t before, and he was increasingly confronted to face areas of his life that he’d been trying to avoid.
• We discuss how Dejan was often emotionally distanced at the beginning of our relationship, trying to stay busy and not creating the space we needed to develop a deep, intimate connection.
• Eventually my breaking point came. I communicated my boundaries and told Dejan I was no longer willing to do the emotional work for us both. If he wanted to be in a relationship with me, he would need to take responsibility for himself and his personal growth.
• In the days that followed, Dejan sought support in a 12 Step program and his recovery journey began. He slowly learnt to feel into his emotions and face the pain he had suppressed for many years.
• Having kept the truth about his financial situation a secret, Dejan finally told me about his 24,000€ debt. In order to repay all his debts, he had to move back to his parent’s flat and completely change his relationship with money.
• Dejan shares how he developed daily routines which enable him to identify and process his true feelings, and to support him to continually move forward in all areas of life.
• I share how Dejan’s commitment to our relationship and his personal growth has allowed me to deeply trust him.
• Dejan shares how becoming honest with himself and taking responsibility for all areas of his life has enabled him to experience deep love, true joy, and more freedom than ever.

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Thank you for listening! If you resonate with this episode, want to know more about Dejan’s story, would like to know more about the 12 Step recovery program we are in, or have any other comments or questions, I’d love to hear from you! Please send me an email at morewillberevealed.podcast@gmail.com

Lots of love,

Josephine

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yesterday’s episode about friendship had me reflecting on all the beautiful people who have supported and inspired me throughout my life so far. Over the years I have lost or ended contact with many former friends, however my love and appreciation for each individual remains. Each person helped me to discover a part of my deepest, most authentic self, and for that I will remain forever grateful.

Thank you, and I wish you nothing but the best.

Lots of love,

Josephine

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Not all friendships are meant to last a lifetime. As we grow, I believe it’s normal and necessary to let go of friendships that are no longer compatible. This can be a scary and painful experience, but by doing so, we create space for new people to come into and enrich our lives. In this episode I share my experiences moving through many friendships, what I’ve learnt in the process, and why it’s entirely worth the heartache.

Episode breakdown:

• In order to experience the deeply intimate and authentic relationships I do today, I’ve had to grieve the loss of many friendships and move through the accompanying fears of loneliness, trusting time and time again, that the Universe would bring me the people I needed.
• I explain why I never leave relationships because I am hurt or resentful.
• The biggest lesson I have learnt is to not remain in a relationship in which I do not feel supported. I break down some of my most valuable learning experiences, giving examples where I wasn’t supported, and practical suggestions on how you can figure out if you feel supported in all of your relationships.
• Open and empathetic people don’t usually have trouble making new friends, however it is crucial that we learn to consciously choose those whom we want to spend our time with.
• For me it’s important to feel inspired by my friends. I explain what that means and give examples of ways in which I might lose inspiration/interest in a friendship.
• It can be incredibly difficult to see someone we love suffering, especially when addiction is involved. After repeated attempts to help people, I’ve learnt that I cannot save anyone and must take responsibility for my own wellbeing.
• As a deeply intuitive person, I am often able to sense a person’s underlying issues before they do. If someone is stuck in a cycle of repeating the same problems, I will find myself becoming exhausted in their presence. In this case I will create some distance from them, but I will usually end up leaving the friendship because it’s too draining for me.
• I encourage you to ask your heart if there are any friendships that are no longer supportive. If we can have the courage to let go, the Universe will fill those spaces with the people who are more and more aligned with our authentic selves.

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If you resonate with this episode, would like support reflecting on your relationships, or have any other comments or questions, I’d love to hear from you! Please send me an email at morewillberevealed.podcast@gmail.com

Lots of love,

Josephine

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

BPD is who I am, and an inherent part of my daily existence, so naturally I forgot to mention it on the podcast! Last week I had a pretty uncomfortable BPD episode which brought this whole topic back into the spotlight. In this episode I share what happened with you, how I experience Borderline Personality Disorder, and most importantly: why I am so GRATEFUL to have BPD, since it truly comes with its own set of incredible superpowers.

Episode breakdown:

• After sharing how I was unofficially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I read the official diagnostic criteria and share how I experienced some imposter syndrome due to knowing that other people experience more intense suffering than I do.
• As a person with BPD, I experience intense, unstable emotions: high highs, and low lows. People have described me as “dramatic” and living life on a rollercoaster. It can be incredibly difficult navigating life with these symptoms.
• The emotional suffering I experienced in my early 20s caused me to seek and find help. The tools of the 12 Step recovery program I joined supported me to better manage my sensitive, intense & unstable emotional nature.
• Fear of abandonment (real or imagined) is a major trigger for people with BPD, including myself. I share what happens when I get triggered, and why I’m not able to think or respond rationally to a situation whilst I am experiencing a BPD episode.
• I describe in detail the BPD episode I experienced last week, the rollercoaster ride it put me on, the abusive way I treated my partner, all the while believing I was acting sanely!
• I usually operate with a high degree of self awareness. When I suddenly react very irrationally to a situation, it can be very confusing for the people around me. I share how my loved ones can best support me when I am in intense emotional distress.
• Today I relate far more to the positive aspects of BPD than the negatives ones! Some of the superpowers BPD has granted me are: a heightened ability to be authentic, vulnerable and open. An acute awareness of my emotions at any given time. Intense passion, joy, and happiness. An ability to sense people’s true emotions, even those they may not be aware of. I am highly empathetic and can experience deep intimacy with other people. An ability to see the true beauty in the world.
• I have done much work to improve my mental health, and I highly recommend 12 Step recovery programs to anyone who is suffering from BPD. I am truly grateful to have this mental illness because it caused me to walk my own unique path and has blessed me with a life full of beauty and depth.

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If you resonate with this episode, want to know more about my story, the 12 Step recovery program I’m in, or have any other comments or questions, I’d love to hear from you! Please send me an email at morewillberevealed.podcast@gmail.com

Lots of love,

Josephine

References:

• National Institute of Health - Borderline Personality Disorder
• Psych Central - The Gift of Borderline Personality Disorder
• Imi Lo, Eggshell Therapy - Advantages of Borderline Personality Disorder – 7 BPD gifts that may surprise you

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Welcome back everyone! In this season I am going to introduce you to the people in my life, to share their stories and to open this space for more discussions, vulnerability and truth. I’ve never met a more hardcore people pleaser than Andrew. In this episode, he shares his experience with chronic people pleasing, how it impacted his life, how he overcame it, and where he is now. I hope you enjoy it!

Episode breakdown:

• To survive his childhood and adolescence years as a fat kid in Ireland, Andrew became a skilled people-pleaser in order to make friends and become popular at school.
• He describes himself as a “chameleon”, playing different characters with different people in order to fit in and meet other people’s expectations. As a people pleaser, he learnt how to read people and give them what they wanted, but lost his authentic self in the process.
• Andrew shares how he used to stuff down his anger, frustration and resentment in order to please others and avoid rejection. He would go to any lengths to get people to like him, because if a single person uncovered his inauthenticity, his entire world and reputation would be threatened.
• He didn’t understand how being “too nice” could be a negative trait. Now Andrew explains why people-pleasing is actually very self-involved, dishonest and manipulative.
• We discuss how people-pleasing is embedded in most of the world’s cultures and is generally encouraged behaviour.
• Andrew shares how he hit a very dark and lonely personal rock bottom with people-pleasing four years ago. Completely burnt out and at breaking point, the turning point came when he finally made a decision to put his mental health and wellbeing first.
• After seeking support in therapy and 12 Step recovery, Andrew became aware of his people-pleasing behaviour, and through a process of small steps learnt how to set boundaries, advocate for himself, and not accept unacceptable behaviour.
• The two biggest shifts for Andrew were: 1. Realising that he can’t control someone else’s reaction to what he says. 2. Trusting that if someone reacts negatively to his boundary, they are not his true people.
• Andrew describes where he is now: his relationships are far more open and intimate, he has healthy boundaries with family members, he feels more confident at work, and he has more time and energy to focus on himself and continue improving his life.
• Andrew shares a beautiful message of hope for anyone who is suffering from people-pleasing.

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Thank you so much for listening! If you resonate with this episode, want to know more about Andrew’s story, would like to know more about the 12 Step recovery program we are in, or have any other comments or questions, I’d love to hear from you! Please send me an email at morewillberevealed.podcast@gmail.com

Lots of love,

Josephine

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I share what’s been happening in my life since I began the podcast. After recording the previous episode a couple of months ago, I found myself unable to continue. I felt depleted in my relationship and was experiencing symptoms of depression.

When I took responsibility for my boundaries and recommenced taking antidepressants, I quickly dove deep into the root cause of my symptoms. I had a major epiphany that altered my perception of reality, and I subsequently experienced a momentary existential crisis! I realised that I wasn’t suffering from classic depression, but that I was in a process of profound spiritual growth.

Over the last month I have received a lot of clarity around my life and my purpose. I am currently taking some space to integrate my experiences and reorganise my mind, so I can share everything with you in Season 2. I’ll also be introducing you to my amazing friends and boyfriend, because I believe sharing and listening to each others’ stories opens a space for empowering new insights and both personal and collective transformation.

I can’t wait to speak with you again soon!

Lots of love

Josephine xx

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