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Welcome to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy. Join Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists and trauma experts, as they delve deeper into Gottman's seven principles, specifically focusing on overcoming gridlock in relationships. Building on the previous episode's exploration of solvable versus perpetual problems, this discussion provides listeners with practical steps to break free from entrenched conflicts and nurture deeper empathy and understanding.

Tim and Ruth guide you through the process of identifying hidden dreams within conflicts, illustrating how these core values can often be the root of recurring issues. Through the example of a couple grappling with the decision of having a larger family, they highlight the importance of recognizing personal motivations and values. By exploring each other's dreams and fears, couples can transform arguments into opportunities for connection, allowing for meaningful discussions rather than reactive exchanges.

The episode offers strategies for self-soothing and emotional regulation, emphasizing the importance of taking pauses during heated discussions to foster calmer and more constructive dialogues. Tim and Ruth illustrate the significance of validating each other's emotions and encourage listeners to engage in ongoing dialogues rather than seeking one-time solutions.

Listeners are invited to explore temporary compromises and structured conversations to navigate perpetual issues adeptly. The Olsons stress the value of professional help in facilitating these discussions, underscoring that the journey to overcoming relationship gridlocks is about understanding each other's inner world, not just fixing issues superficially.

As the episode concludes, Tim and Ruth provide a preview of the next episode focusing on creating shared meaning, promising more valuable insights. Tune in to transform relationship gridlocks into pathways of growth and deeper connection, and be sure to share your thoughts and experiences in the Facebook group linked in the description.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

We want to work with YOU!

15 Minute Free Consultation

Start healing now! Set up a Coaching Session

Welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, where hosts Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists, delve into the intricacies of overcoming relationship gridlock. In this episode, they focus on the sixth of Gottman's Seven Principles, exploring the concept of gridlock in relationships where fundamental conflicts recur without resolution over months or even years.

The episode begins with a discussion on how unresolved perpetual problems—such as disagreements about wanting children, religious differences, or lifestyle choices—can leave couples feeling entrenched and hopeless. Tim and Ruth engage listeners by sharing insights into the emotional complexities beneath these ongoing conflicts, emphasizing the need for deeper understanding and the importance of addressing not just the surface issues but the underlying dreams, needs, and values.

The hosts guide couples through various pitfalls like ignoring emotions, rushing for quick solutions, and failing to revisit difficult topics leading to blame and resentment. They stress the significance of emotional intimacy alongside conflict resolution and offer practical advice on utilizing check-ins, patience, and empathy to manage differences more peacefully.

Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own relationships, identifying recurring issues and the emotions tied to them. With the promise of more strategies in the next episode, this installment empowers couples to break free from gridlock, fostering meaningful and fulfilling connections.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}

We want to work with YOU!

15 Minute Free Consultation

Start healing now! Set up a Coaching Session

Welcome back to another insightful episode of Mr. and Mrs. Therapy with your hosts, Tim and Ruth Olson, licensed marriage and family therapists and trauma experts. In this episode, we dive deep into the art of solving solvable problems within relationships by exploring John Gottman’s principles. Picking up from our previous discussion on distinguishing solvable issues from perpetual ones, we guide you through a comprehensive roadmap designed to effectively address and resolve conflict.

The episode begins by emphasizing the importance of a gentle startup when entering difficult conversations, to reduce defensiveness and promote an atmosphere conducive to cooperation. We walk you through seven structured steps, starting from articulating the issue clearly, practicing active listening, to brainstorming and proposing collaborative solutions. Additionally, crucial topics such as finding common ground, compromising, and agreeing on a plan are tackled to help both partners feel respected and understood.

Drawing from real-life scenarios and professional insights, we also discuss overcoming common pitfalls like reverting to old communication patterns, addressing emotional triggers, and dealing with external stressors. This empowers listeners to manage conflicts with empathy and teamwork.

Whether dealing with challenging daily disputes or navigating deeper emotional wounds, this episode provides practical strategies for strengthening your relationship's bond. Tune in for valuable tips and a step-by-step guide to transforming conflict into a catalyst for personal and relational growth.

We encourage you to practice these techniques on a small conflict this week, and share your success stories in our dedicated Facebook group. Join us as we continue to transform life's challenges into opportunities for deeper connections and healing.

[Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.]

{Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}