Episodes

  • Lori Gottlieb: 7 Answers to Dating Questions You’re Afraid to Ask & How to Break Free from Relationship Timelines
    Nov 18 2024

    Have you ever felt stuck in a negative relationship cycle?

    Have you ever struggled with setting boundaries in your relationships?

    Today, Jay welcomes back a community favorite, the renowned psychotherapist, bestselling author, and podcast host Lori Gottlieb, for an insightful chat about love, relationships, and emotional growth. Lori, best known for her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and as co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, brings her deep wisdom and practical advice that really hits home with listeners.

    Lori shares how people often step into love with unrealistic expectations, thanks to social media and pop culture. She reminds us that while the spark of initial chemistry is thrilling, true, long-lasting love thrives on a deeper connection and genuine understanding. One of the highlights is Lori’s take on “idiot compassion” versus “wise compassion.” She breaks down how real compassion means looking at ourselves honestly, recognizing our patterns, and owning our part in the relationship. This is essential for anyone feeling trapped in negative cycles.

    As the conversation unfolds, Jay and Lori dive into family dynamics, especially around in-laws and blending families. Lori offers practical tips on how to support your relationship while still showing respect for parents, pointing out that these challenges are usually a couple's issues, not just external ones.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

    How to Practice Wise Compassion

    How to Break Negative Patterns

    How to Handle Pressure to Rush Relationships

    How to Prioritize Clear Communication

    How to Avoid Pop Culture Relationship Pitfalls

    How to Cultivate Emotional Resilience

    Remember, true connection flourishes when we commit to growth, communicate openly, and remain empathetic to both ourselves and others. Every step taken toward understanding and compassion brings you closer to creating a life filled with genuine, lasting connections.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 02:29 What is Everyone Doing at My Age?
    • 05:08 Why Doing Self Work Matters
    • 08:40 Why You Need to Slow Down to Save Time
    • 13:03 How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationship
    • 17:03 First Date Impressions Aren’t Always Accurate
    • 21:26 How Do You Define Real Human Connection?
    • 24:33 Do You Fully Understand Your Partner?
    • 28:24 Learn to Communicate Your Desires
    • 31:26 This is What Happens When You Don’t Communicate
    • 35:24 Why We’re Unreliable Narrators of Our Story
    • 37:52 Be Consistent with Your Boundaries
    • 42:36 We All Want to Be Liked
    • 45:46 You’re Not Ready to Marry Yet
    • 49:51 Practice Being Your True Self All the Time
    • 52:36 The Blind Spots of Dating
    • 57:08 The Truth About Future Tripping
    • 01:00:10 How Do You Feel About the Other Person?
    • 01:01:33 The 7-Year Mark of Marriages
    • 01:03:50 Can Having Children Save a Marriage?
    • 01:07:35 In-Law Issues is a Couple Issue
    • 01:12:01 The Concept of Feeling Felt
    • 01:16:50 How Long Can You Tolerate Disrespect from Your Partner?

    Episode Resources:

    • Lori Gottlieb | YouTube
    • Lori Gottlieb | Instagram
    • Lori Gottlieb | Website
    • Dear Therapists Podcast
    • Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    1 hr and 23 mins
  • 4 Simple Habits to Boost Focus & Stop Getting Distracted
    Nov 15 2024

    Do you ever try focusing on just one thing at a time?

    What’s one way you avoid distractions?

    Today, Jay’s diving into a struggle we all know too well: distraction. If you’ve ever found yourself scrolling on your phone without even thinking about it, you’re definitely not alone. Jay breaks down why it’s so hard to stay focused in a world full of constant notifications and packed schedules. But this episode isn’t about making us feel guilty—instead, it’s about giving us simple, doable strategies to actually make focus easier.

    Jay’s packed this episode with practical tips, like creating “no-phone zones” at home and setting tech-free times during the day to really be present. One of the standout strategies he shares is the Pomodoro Technique—working in short, focused bursts with breaks in between to keep your brain sharp and productive. Jay’s main message? Real productivity isn’t about doing more, faster—it’s about doing things better. He even shares some unique Ayurvedic advice, like chewing each bite 32 times (yes, really!) to emphasize how slowing down can improve our lives.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to Slow Down for Better Productivity

    How to Stay Present in Conversations

    How to Find Calm by Unplugging

    How to Build Stronger Focus Habits

    How to Reclaim Your Attention

    By setting intentional boundaries, slowing down, and practicing mindfulness, we can take back our attention in a way that enhances productivity, deepens our relationships, and brings peace to our daily lives.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:46 Have You Been Feeling More Distracted?

    04:03 What Research Says About the Decline in Focus

    06:12 Majority of Us Can’t Multitask

    09:00 Doing Things Slower Makes Better Progress

    11:43 #1: The Pomodoro Technique

    13:38 #2: No Tech Zones, No Tech Times

    15:56 #3: Go For a Walk, Stay Off Your Phone

    20:34 #4: Finish What You Start

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    26 mins
  • Alicia Keys: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Doubt & Build Confidence Within
    Nov 11 2024

    How do you handle negative self-talk?

    What helps you overcome self-doubt?

    Today, Jay sits down with Grammy Award-winning artist Alicia Keys as she shares her journey of self-discovery, resilience, and holistic living. Alicia founded Keys SoulCare, a skincare line emphasizing holistic well-being, and is a co-founder of the initiative She Is the Music, advocating for gender equality in the music industry. The conversation sheds light into Alicia's evolution from a young girl with dreams to an icon balancing a multifaceted career. Jay and Alicia discuss the highs and lows of fame, navigating self-doubt, and the pressures of public life, providing listeners with valuable insights on managing stress and fostering a positive self-image.

    Alicia reflects on her childhood fears and the challenges of finding self-worth, candidly revealing how these experiences shaped her. She emphasizes the importance of staying grounded through practices like affirmations, journaling, and mindful rituals—habits that help her stay true to herself amid a whirlwind career.

    Jay and Alicia then talk about the beauty of affirmations and the importance of letting go of perfectionism, a journey that led Alicia to adopt a more holistic approach to life. In her partnership with husband Swizz Beatz, she finds a harmonious balance of "flow" and "design," where they support each other's growth and freedom. This dynamic extends to their parenting style, where they teach their children gratitude and self-acceptance while instilling a sense of humility and grace.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to Embrace Your True Self

    How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Fear

    How to Find Confidence Within Yourself

    How to Turn Negative Thoughts into Positivity

    How to Discover Your Inner Strength

    How to Set Boundaries for Self-Care

    How to Be Kind to Yourself

    How to Trust Your Own Choices

    The journey through self-doubt, fears, and external pressures highlights the importance of staying grounded, trusting intuition, and letting go of the need to seek others' approval.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 03:54 What Would You Say to Your Younger Self?
    • 05:34 When You Have the Need to Protect Yourself
    • 09:02 From Being Doubtful to Becoming Curious
    • 13:43 What Is Your Affirmation Today?
    • 15:30 Stop Being Mean to Yourself
    • 19:06 Finding the Will to Love Your Own Skin
    • 26:49 Spend More Time with Yourself
    • 32:14 The Gifts and the Gaps
    • 36:19 What Have You Learned From Your Partner?
    • 38:06 Having Healthy Conflict in Your Relationship
    • 45:53 Finding Balance Between Control and Flow
    • 47:51 The Love for Crystals
    • 51:32 Losing the Ability to Trust Yourself
    • 57:15 What Are Your Go-To Rituals to Feel Better?
    • 01:00:08 Teach Your Children to Practice Gratitude
    • 01:03:45 Allow Other People to Speak and Just Listen
    • 01:05:22 Creating Safe Space for Children
    • 01:09:35 Hell’s Kitchen on Broadway
    • 01:15:19 Be Clear with Your Vision
    • 01:22:12 How Have You Protected Yourself from Fame and Success?
    • 01:26:32 Alicia in Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    • Alicia Keys | Website
    • Alicia Keys | YouTube
    • Alicia Keys | Instagram
    • Alicia Keys | Facebook
    • Alicia Keys | TikTok

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    1 hr and 32 mins
  • Can You Be Friends with Your Ex?
    Nov 8 2024

    Are you open to just being friends with an ex?

    Do you think they want the same kind of friendship?

    Today, Jay’s diving into a question we've all probably wrestled with at some point: can you really stay friends with an ex? He kicks things off by laying down some ground rules, pointing out that not every ex is friendship material, especially if there was any toxicity or harm in the relationship. For those open to trying a platonic bond post-breakup, he highlights the real-life complexities and the level of emotional maturity it takes to make it work.

    Jay also brings in some interesting science, sharing that studies show people stay connected with their exes for reasons like security, convenience, keeping things civil, or even unresolved feelings. But each of these reasons can get messy, and Jay explains that often, the urge to stay friends might have more to do with wanting a sense of safety or familiarity than with genuine friendship.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to Decide if an Ex Deserves Friendship

    How to Set Boundaries with an Ex

    How to Manage Shared Friends Post-Breakup

    How to Avoid Using Friendship to Win Them Back

    How to Avoid Hurting Your Ex Twice

    Sometimes, the boldest and most courageous thing you can do is to walk away, taking the lessons with you and leaving the rest behind. Focus on what makes you feel good and helps you build the life you truly want.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    00:52 Not Every Ex Deserves Friendship

    04:36 Four Core Reasons People Stay Friends with Their Exes

    09:30 Four Ways to Know Being Friends with an Ex Won’t Work

    13:52 How to Start Being Friends with an Ex?

    18:33 Friends and Family Can be Casualties of a Breakup

    21:41 Establish New Rules of Engagement

    22:50 Consider the Welfare of Children

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    25 mins
  • Dr. David Spiegel: 10-MINUTE Hypnosis Hack to Rewire Your Brain & Reduce Stress 80% Faster
    Nov 4 2024

    How do you usually handle stress?

    Have you tried hypnosis for stress?

    Today, Jay with Dr. David Spiegel, a leading expert in psychiatry and behavioral sciences, to explore the transformative power of hypnotherapy. Dr. Spiegel, with over 45 years of experience in clinical and research fields, shares profound insights into the science behind hypnosis, dispelling myths and misconceptions. He explains how hypnosis is a natural, self-directed process that allows individuals to tap into heightened focus, manage pain, reduce stress, and address deep-seated traumas.

    The conversation begins with Dr. Spiegel explaining the foundations of hypnosis, highlighting its ability to narrow one’s focus, similar to a telephoto lens, and create a dissociative state where one can temporarily suspend self-limiting beliefs. This unique focus enables users to challenge habitual thoughts and reframe experiences. Dr. Spiegel shares real-life success stories, such as a war veteran who found peace with traumatic memories and individuals overcoming chronic pain and stress using hypnosis.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to Sleep Better Using Hypnosis

    How to Improve Focus by Narrowing Attention

    How to Process Trauma Safely with Hypnosis

    How to Use Visualization to Relieve Stress

    How to Focus Your Attention Deeply

    How to Filter Out Pain with Hypnosis

    By learning how to access a focused, relaxed state, you can reshape your response to pain, manage stress more effectively, and explore emotions or memories that might otherwise feel overwhelming.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 02:17 What is Hypnosis
    • 05:08 How Beneficial Hypnosis is For You?
    • 09:14 What Happens to Your Brain During Hypnosis
    • 14:40 Can You Control Other People with Hypnosis?
    • 16:13 Is It Possible to Hypnotize Anyone?
    • 26:14 You’re Still in Control of Your Body
    • 31:28 How Can Hypnotherapy After Memory Recall?
    • 38:29 Guided Hypnotherapy at Home is Possible
    • 40:59 Let Your Brain Heal Your Body
    • 43:34 The Worst Mental Case Under Hypnosis
    • 50:26 We Lose the Hypnotic Ability as We Age
    • 55:39 How Hypnosis Can Help You Focus More
    • 57:38 David on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    • Reveri | YouTube
    • Reveri | Instagram
    • Reveri | Facebook
    • Reveri | LinkedIn
    • Reveri | Website

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    1 hr and 3 mins
  • Are Men Less Attracted to Successful Women?
    Nov 1 2024

    Have you ever felt like success affected your dating life?

    Have you ever felt judged for your level of ambition?

    Today, Jay addresses the insecurities some men may feel when partnered with highly driven women, shedding light on societal conditioning and personal growth. discusses how societal expectations traditionally placed men in provider roles, which can lead to an unease when faced with a partner who exemplifies drive and independence.

    Jay also delves into recent studies, such as the "Clooney Effect," showing that most men actually value intelligence and confidence in their partners. By examining these narratives, Jay dispels myths that successful women are inherently intimidating to men. Instead, he encourages ambitious women not to diminish their goals but to seek partners who celebrate and complement their journey.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to embrace your ambition without guilt

    How to address insecurities in your relationship

    How to balance mutual respect and personal ambition

    How to seek partners who uplift, not compete

    How to identify and avoid unhealthy relationship roles

    True partnership means valuing each other's journey, working through insecurities together, and building a foundation where both people can grow freely and authentically.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    00:49 Are Men Less Attracted to Successful Women?

    05:15 Men Have Had to Play the Protective Role

    06:48 The Negative Dating Mindset You Should Stop Having

    13:04 Have an Understanding of What Both are Pursuing

    14:29 Are You Making Your Partner Feel Insecure?

    18:29 What Makes You a Healthy Partner?

    21:04 Respect Each Other’s Ambitions

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    23 mins
  • Tom Hanks: #1 Theory Tom Uses in Order to Live a Balanced and Fulfilled Life
    Oct 28 2024

    What does a balanced life look like for you?

    Are you getting enough time to recharge?

    Today, Jay engages in a deeply reflective conversation with legendary actor, filmmaker, and writer Tom Hanks. With a career spanning over four decades, Hanks is renowned for his roles in iconic films like Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, Cast Away, and The Green Mile, earning him two Academy Awards.

    Tom opens up about his unconventional childhood, moving frequently and adjusting to new environments, which shaped his adaptability and taught him the art of letting go. As he reflects on his career, he discusses how he continues to find purpose and depth in his work, emphasizing the joy of collaboration and the importance of staying curious.

    Together, Jay and Tom discuss how certain locations hold emotional weight, becoming symbols of comfort or life-changing reflection. They also touch on generational wisdom, the role of luck, and finding joy in small, shared experiences. With his characteristic humor and humility, Tom offers listeners a glimpse into his contemplative nature and the lessons he's learned over the years, reminding us all of the power of presence and community.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to Find Comfort in Solitude

    How to Embrace Life's Unexpected Changes

    How to Connect Across Generations

    How to Trust Your Instincts and Take Risks

    How to Stay Curious at Any Age

    How to Discover Purpose in Your Work

    How to Show Up Fully in Relationships

    How to Find Wisdom in Life’s Challenges

    How to Pursue Meaning over Perfection

    Life isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about embracing the unknown with openness, honoring the journey, and finding meaning in each moment, each experience, and each relationship.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 01:17 Early Life Lessons: Childhood, Change, and Resilience
    • 05:37 Mastering the Art of Detachment
    • 10:15 Discovering Theater and Passion in High School
    • 18:56 Can We Create Our Own Luck?
    • 21:35 Exploring the Sacred Sites of Jerusalem
    • 27:03 Owning Your Mistakes and When to Take Personal Responsibility
    • 30:52 The Third Space: Finding Balance Beyond Work and Home
    • 37:03 Fathers and the Lasting Impact on Their Sons
    • 38:42 Nurturing Kids’ Interests for Genuine Growth
    • 42:59 The Value of Academic Ambition
    • 45:21 Capturing the Present: Finding Magic in Every Moment
    • 52:46 Reflections on Seeing Your Younger Self in the Movie
    • 55:03 Finding Presence in Everyday Life
    • 58:04 The Freedom of Following Your True Desires
    • 01:04:25 Imagining the Dream Life: Building a Path to Fulfillment
    • 01:07:29 Themes of Time and Place in the Film Here
    • 01:09:01 The Fascination with Reaching the Moon
    • 01:11:04 Unraveling a Deep Fascination with WWII
    • 01:18:01 Becoming America’s Most Trusted Voice
    • 01:21:07 Grateful for the Blessings of Family
    • 01:22:04 Observing Life’s Passing Moments
    • 01:27:42 Honored with Greek Citizenship
    • 01:31:31 Tom on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    • Tom Hanks | Instagram

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    1 hr and 43 mins
  • The Tell Them Method - How To Stop Holding On To Emotional Baggage and Regret
    Oct 25 2024

    Have you ever regretted not saying something sooner?

    Do you think holding in your emotions causes stress?

    Today, Jay takes us on a journey through the principles of the Tell Them Method, explaining that whether it's a simple decision like not wanting to attend an event or a deeper emotion like feeling unappreciated, the key is to directly communicate those feelings to the person involved. He highlights that most of us practice what he calls the "Tell Everyone But Them" method—where we vent to others but avoid speaking directly to the person who needs to hear it. This behavior, Jay argues, not only erodes trust and intimacy in relationships but also traps negative emotions within us, leading to stress and even physical discomfort.

    Jay uses relatable anecdotes and insights from research to underline the significance of expressing emotions in a healthy way. He discusses how bottled-up emotions can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, overreactions, and even health problems. By directly telling people how we feel—whether it’s disappointment, love, or frustration—Jay believes we open the door to deeper understanding and connection.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to Use the Tell Them Method

    How to Stop Avoiding Hard Conversations

    How to Pick the Best Time to Talk

    How to Share Feelings Without Fighting

    How to Ask Instead of Accuse

    Practicing the "Tell Them Method" approach in everyday life not only improves our relationships but also enhances our emotional well-being, giving us the clarity and peace that comes from being truthful and intentional in our interactions.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    02:33 What is the Tell Them Method?

    06:11 Why it’s Hard to Tell Someone How You Feel

    09:29 Underestimate the Value of How Something is Said

    16:06 The Three Things That Happen When Emotion is Experienced

    18:26 How Trapped Emotions Can Create Trauma

    22:52 Figure Out the Best Time to Talk About It

    25:57 Don’t Wait for the Last Minute to Tell Them

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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    28 mins