In today's episode of The Curious Therapist Show, I share about family systems theory and the roles we can play. And how this connects to why during the holiday season, we may feel like we revert back to our child or teen selves the minute we're with family again! I also give some helpful reminders to helping manage the stress around family and holidays this season.

I also want to thank each of you for receiving these messages, for listening to my podcast and thank you so much to those of you who have rated the show.

I will be visiting Kentucky (where I'm from) this year for the first time since 2019! So, this will be my last episode of 2024.

I have such exciting guests planned for 2025 and some creative topics for us to GET CURIOUS about together!

For now, I hope this episode helps you understand a bit more about your family, yourself and some tips for navigating all this as we wrap up this year.

Have a wonderful holiday season and wishing you all the grace and peace for the new year!

Vanessa

PS- I want to send some gentle compassion to those of you missing someone this holiday season. I hope you can nurture yourself through any grief that might be surfacing.

To connect with Vanessa:

Find Vanessa on Facebook: (2) Facebook

Find Vanessa on Instagram: Vanessa Preston (@vanessa_preston_) • Instagram photos and videos

Check out Vanessa’s website to find a freebie and all about her intuitive eating and body image programs: Vanessa Preston (podia.com)

Or her practice website: Green life Psychology - Green Life Psychology

Disclaimer:
This podcast represents the opinions of Vanessa Preston and her guests to the show. Vanessa is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and abides by ethics of the Australian Association of Social Workers (AASW). The content here should not be taken as medical or therapeutic advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional.

In today's episode of The Curious Therapist Show, it’s part 2 of how to set boundaries. I would suggest listening to part 1 if you haven’t yet and then come back:)

Boundaries are limits we set to protect our energy- emotional, mental, and physical.

One of my fav quotes about boundaries is:

"Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others" (Brene Brown)

This really sums up why so many people struggle to set boundaries. Our fears of rejection, of "letting others down", the guilt we may feel saying "no", the fear of a missed opportunity, maybe even FOMO (fear of missing out). Perhaps there's complexities here too...family or cultural impacts where we we're taught to self-sacrifice and people please.

A thought I had in preparing for this discussion was reflecting on the developmental stage where 2 or 3 years old ask "why!" 27 times an hour and they say "no" to every question. LOL. I think we need to channel some toddler energy here! We need to ask "why" we're doing something and say "no" more often.

So join Brooke and I for part 2 today!

Resources Mentioned:

Brown Girl Therapy (@browngirltherapy) • Instagram photos and videos

But What Will People Say? by Sahaj Kaur Kohli, MAEd, LGPC: 9780593491195 | PenguinRandomHouse.com: Books

About Courtney Brooke:

Courtney Brooke is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who sees people dealing with life transitions, trauma and a variety of mental health struggles. She provides supervision to other therapists and has taught at the college and university levels.

If you’d like to follow Courtney’s work, you can check her out here:

http://www.bloom-lc.com

More about Courtney Brooke Sergent-Fox:

Courtney Brooke is an eclectic soul. Her love for others, nature, truth and grace is all evidenced in her work as a mental health provider. As a clinical supervisor she helps others starting their mental health careers seek knowledge & experience while learning to balance the many needs and demands of life. Her emphasis is on caring for others and caring for self - part of the reason she finds joy in teaching and mentoring other professionals.

To connect with Vanessa:

Find Vanessa on Facebook: (2) Facebook

Find Vanessa on Instagram: Vanessa Preston (@vanessa_preston_) • Instagram photos and videos

Check out Vanessa’s website to find a freebie and all about her intuitive eating and body image programs: Vanessa Preston (podia.com)

Or her practice website: Green life Psychology - Green Life Psychology

Disclaimer:
This podcast represents the opinions of Vanessa Preston and her guests to the show. Vanessa is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and abides by ethics of the Australian Association of Social Workers (AASW). The content here should not be taken as medical or therapeutic advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional.

On today’s episode, I share all about emotions, how ignoring and suppressing them is making us sick, and what "making space" for emotions actually means.

What I witness people do every day is push their emotions away, suppress them, judge them, label themselves as "low vibe" or dramatic or weak, try to avoid the emotion with fake positivity. Or they use some good ole distraction...grabbing the phone to doomscroll, overworking, overcommitting, or pretending to feel ok. Really what I see is people not FEELING their emotion, but rather thinking about the emotion and how to get it to go away.

Cue a busy mind, rumination, and ineffective "problem solving"

All of this keeps us stuck. It keeps the emotion stuck, the energy stuck in our bodies, and it robs us of the wisdom that our emotions can bring. After all, beneath every feeling is a NEED. One of my fav quotes sums it up perfectly:

_“Beneath every behaviour is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need, rather than focus on the behaviour, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom." ~Ashleigh Warner_⠀

So this is what I'm teaching in this episode. How do we sit with the feeling and how do we honour the underlying need? Most of us weren't taught this growing up, so it's a skill set that needs practiced!

One of my fav clips (along with so many other therapists) that I discuss in this episode is one from "Inside Out 2". Find out my thoughts on this scene and what it can teach us.

I also share types of anger and that the research shows, when we suppress adaptive anger, it lowers our immunity. Talk about evidence of body-mind connection!

To connect with Vanessa:

Find Vanessa on Facebook: (2) Facebook

Find Vanessa on Instagram: Vanessa Preston (@vanessa_preston_) • Instagram photos and videos

Check out Vanessa’s website to find a freebie and all about her intuitive eating and body image programs: Vanessa Preston (podia.com)

Or her practice website: http://www.greenlifepsychology.com

Disclaimer:
This podcast represents the opinions of Vanessa Preston and her guests to the show. Vanessa is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and abides by ethics of the Australian Association of Social Workers (AASW). The content here should not be taken as medical or therapeutic advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional.

In today's episode, we talk all about attachment theory and how our child selves learn to adapt to feel safe and loved.

In this episode, I discuss:

-attachment styles (and point out that they are over simplified on social media)

-common ways we adapt to have our attachment needs met

-how our childhood relationships can impact on our adult attachments

This is much deeper than love languages or "acts of service". Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with knowing how you and your partner feel loved. But attachment shapes what's underneath that. Do I feel lovable? Do I feel enough or too much? Do I push people away, become "too needy"? Do I start arguments instead of sharing my sadness? All of this is attachment related!

To connect with Vanessa:

Find Vanessa on Facebook: (2) Facebook

Find Vanessa on Instagram: Vanessa Preston (@vanessa_preston_) • Instagram photos and videos

Check out Vanessa’s website to find a freebie and all about her intuitive eating and body image programs: Vanessa Preston (podia.com)

Or her practice website: Green life Psychology - Green Life Psychology

Disclaimer:
This podcast represents the opinions of Vanessa Preston and her guests to the show. Vanessa is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and abides by ethics of the Australian Association of Social Workers (AASW). The content here should not be taken as medical or therapeutic advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional.

In today’s podcast episode of The Curious Therapist Show, I talk with my dear friend and fellow therapist, Courtney Brooke. We talk all about how friendships change over time, types of friendships and what can be challenging making friends as we get older.

Courtney Brooke is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who sees people dealing with life transitions, trauma and a variety of mental health struggles. She provides supervision to other therapists and has taught at the college and university levels.

If you’d like to follow Courtney’s work, you can check her out here:

http://www.bloom-lc.com

More about Courtney Brooke Sergent-Fox:

Courtney Brooke is an eclectic soul. Her love for others, nature, truth and grace is all evidenced in her work as a mental health provider. As a clinical supervisor she helps others starting their mental health careers seek knowledge & experience while learning to balance the many needs and demands of life. Her emphasis is on caring for others and caring for self - part of the reason she finds joy in teaching and mentoring other professionals.

To connect with Vanessa:

Find Vanessa on Facebook: (2) Facebook

Find Vanessa on Instagram: Vanessa Preston (@vanessa_preston_) • Instagram photos and videos

Check out Vanessa’s website to find a freebie and all about her intuitive eating and body image programs: Vanessa Preston (podia.com)

Or her practice website: http://www.greenlifepsychology.com

Resources:

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-types-of-friendship-7975881#:~:text=Acquaintances%20are%20people%20we%20know,childhood%20friends%2C%20are%20practically%20family .

https://www.flashpack.com/solo/relationships/mid-life-friendships/

https://www.crossrivertherapy.com/research/how-many-friends-to-have#:~:text=According%20to%20new%20research%2C%20we,the%20friends%20that%20we%20make .

https://www.flashpack.com/solo/relationships/mid-life-friendships/

Disclaimer:
This podcast represents the opinions of Vanessa Preston and her guests to the show. Vanessa is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and abides by ethics of the Australian Association of Social Workers (AASW). The content here should not be taken as medical or therapeutic advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional.

In today’s podcast episode of The Curious Therapist Show, I interview my dear friend and fellow therapist, Courtney Brooke. We talk all about the difference between values and goals, how to get clear on your personal values and steps to start aligning to your life.

Courtney Brooke is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who sees people dealing with life transitions, trauma and a variety of mental health struggles. She provides supervision to other therapists and has taught at the college and university levels.

‌

If you’d like to follow Courtney’s work, you can check her out here:

http://www.bloom-lc.com

‌

More about Courtney Brooke Sergent-Fox:

Courtney Brooke is an eclectic soul. Her love for others, nature, truth and grace is all evidenced in her work as a mental health provider. As a clinical supervisor she helps others starting their mental health careers seek knowledge & experience while learning to balance the many needs and demands of life. Her emphasis is on caring for others and caring for self - part of the reason she finds joy in teaching and mentoring other professionals.

‌

To connect with Vanessa:

Find Vanessa on Facebook: (2) Facebook

Find Vanessa on Instagram: Vanessa Preston (@vanessa_preston_) • Instagram photos and videos

Check out Vanessa’s website to find a freebie and all about her intuitive eating and body image programs: Vanessa Preston (podia.com)

Or her practice website:

Greenlife Psychology - Green Life Psychology

‌

Resources from today:

2016_Complete_Worksheets_for_Russ_Harris_ACT_Books.pdf (actmindfully.com.au)

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Living Into Our Values - Brené Brown (brenebrown.com)

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Core Values List: Over 50 Common Personal Values (jamesclear.com)

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Values Worksheets | Therapist Aid

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Disclaimer:
This podcast represents the opinions of Vanessa Preston and her guests to the show. Vanessa is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and abides by ethics of the Australian Association of Social Workers (AASW). The content here should not be taken as medical or therapeutic advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional.

Today's episode of the Curious Therapist Show is all about rumination.

Rumination is when we think about negative things, worries, upsetting issues or problems over and over again. We can get stuck...like a hamster on a wheel!

Most the time, rumination centres on past mistakes, current problems or future worries.

I see this happening for people often at night. Their head hits the pillows and everything that's wrong comes barreling through their minds like an unwelcome parade.

In this episode, I describe what rumination is, why we do it and ways to get unstuck.

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Reach Vanessa:

‌

To connect with Vanessa:

Find Vanessa on Facebook: (2) Facebook

Find Vanessa on Instagram: Vanessa Preston (@vanessa_preston_) • Instagram photos and videos

Check out Vanessa’s website to find a freebie and all about her intuitive eating and body image programs: Vanessa Preston (podia.com)

Or her practice website:

Email Vanessa when requested topics or if you’d like to share your story on the podcast: vanessa@greenlifepsychology.com

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Resources:

Regulation:

4-7-8 Calm Breathing Exercise | Relaxing Breath Technique | Extended Breaths | Pranayama Exercise (youtube.com)

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Box breathing relaxation technique: how to calm feelings of stress or anxiety (youtube.com)

‌The Best 5-Senses Grounding Techniques for Anxiety Relief (psychcentral.com)

Article referenced:

Rumination: A Cycle of Negative Thinking

Meditation Episodes:

Episode 78

Episode 79

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Disclaimer:
This podcast represents the opinions of Vanessa Preston and her guests to the show. Vanessa is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and abides by ethics of the Australian Association of Social Workers (AASW). The content here should not be taken as medical or therapeutic advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions.