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The Death of Defensiveness: How to end the cycle of defensiveness in your couple relationship

The Death of Defensiveness: How to end the cycle of defensiveness in your couple relationship

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Defensiveness can be a significant roadblock in relationships, particularly among parenting partners. The episode delves into how defensiveness complicates communication, using the example of Kylie and Leslie and their conflict over forgotten pasta. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP emphasize leading with accountability and following up with vulnerability as crucial steps towards breaking the cycle of defensiveness. Here's what we cover in the episode:

  • Analysis of a scenario involving Kylie and Leslie stuck in a defensive cycle and looking for answers on how to end the cycle
  • Understand why defensiveness often arises as a protective mechanism
  • The Two Step process for ending defensiveness in your relationship
  • We differentiate between simple apologies and true relationship repair
  • Sample script on how to have the conversation with your partner


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