Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

Written by: Roy H. Williams
  • Summary

  • Thousands of people are starting their workweeks with smiles of invigoration as they log on to their computers to find their Monday Morning Memo just waiting to be devoured. Straight from the middle-of-the-night keystrokes of Roy H. Williams, the MMMemo is an insightful and provocative series of well-crafted thoughts about the life of business and the business of life.
    ℗ & © 2006 Roy H. Williams
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Episodes
  • Antonio, Benito, and Neil
    Nov 4 2024

    One hundred and two years ago, Benito organized a March on Rome with the intention of forcing the king of Italy to yield the government to him. It worked, and Benito was appointed prime minister.

    Thirty-two-year-old Antonio had a problem with that, and spoke out against Benito.

    Benito got tired of Antonio’s criticism and had him thrown into prison, where he died 11 years later.

    But while he was still with us, he wrote 30 notebooks containing more than 3,000 pages of history and analysis. The prison notebooks of Antonio Gramsci are considered by historians to be highly original contributions to 20th-century political theory.

    Wizard Academy vice-chancellor Dave Young brought Antonio to my attention last week when he forwarded to me a glistening quote written by this shackled young writer:

    “The old world is dying. And the new world struggles to be born: now is the time of monsters.”

    Those words of Antonio Gramsci dance and sting like honeybees, don’t they?

    In return for his gift of Antonio Gramsci, I sent Dave a couple of the enthusiastic ramblings of American scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson:

    “I will defend AD and BC, year of the Lord, AD, ‘Ano Domini,’ and BC, ‘Before Christ.’ I’ll defend the use of those because a lot of hard work went into creating that calendar – the Gregorian calendar – which is now used worldwide. It’s based on a Christian construct, but it had a lot of very interesting science that went in behind it.

    I’m not just going to ‘swap out’ the words to dereligify it. I don’t mind leaving credit where it’s due.

    I don’t know any atheist that still uses AD and BC. They use ‘Common Era,’ CE, and BCE, ‘Before Common Era.’

    But who are they fooling? It’s the same numbers of years. They’re just trying to ‘paint over’ a religious reference.

    I don’t have that much objection to the religious participation in civilization.”

    But this next comment of Neil deGrasse Tyson serves as a sort of counterbalance to that first one:

    “Ben Franklin was the world’s most famous scientist in his day. But he’s not remembered in America as that; he’s remembered as a founding father.

    He invented the lightning rod.

    What’s the tallest structure back then? The steeple makes the church the tallest structure in any city. What is the most susceptible to a lightning strike? The tallest structure. So lightning was taking out churches left and right, and if you were the other church that wasn’t taken out, you had good argument for saying the people in the church that burned down were worshiping in the wrong way.

    Ben Franklin then invents the lightning rod, which does two things: It dissipates charges that build up under your structure that would otherwise be part of the lightning strike, and it sends them back into the air without the benefit of lightning. So that makes you less susceptible to begin with. And if the lightning strikes it, then it directs all of the charge through the metal and not through your house.

    So Ben Franklin does this, and churches are no longer destroyed by lightning, even if they’re hit, and he’s accused of heresy for thwarting the will of God.”

    Neil deGrasse Tyson is famous for his atheism but he vigorously defends the use of the Christian system of dating the history of the world in years that count backward and forward from the day that Jesus was born.

    Benjamin Franklin doubted the divinity of Jesus, but he invented the lightning rod to make sure that churches did not burn down. And they accused him of heresy for it.*

    As I consider articulate Antonio and bumbling Benito of Italy, I recall the words of a delightful American writer who was born in the same year Antonio was born. When she was accused of being too critical, the delightful Dorothy Parker responded:

    “How could I possibly overthrow the government when I can’t even keep my dog down?”

    Me...

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    6 mins
  • Process Follows Outcome
    Oct 28 2024

    As you round the corner and see your destination, the inconveniences of travel evaporate from your mind.

    Poof. You are here now, and everything is new again.

    Your children will carry the joy of this place wherever they go. The adventures we have for them are unimaginable.

    Leave them with us. We promise they won’t miss you.

    Everything you see here is real. This is not a Hollywood facade.

    Now you understand why we don’t have to advertise.

    You knew you were in love before you got here. Your partner knew it, too. But neither of you are prepared for the wonder of how deeply in love you really are.

    Remember. We promise the kids won’t miss you.

    It takes only about 20 seconds to read those 118 words, but they leave a hovering question mark that vibrates with curiosity. Where is this place? What is “Everything I see here…”? What caused me to experience “the wonder of how deeply in love I really am”?

    I didn’t have to provide those details, because I knew you would.

    “Begin with a happy outcome” is one of the secrets of the world’s best ad writers. You must illuminate the imagination of the customer and cause them to supply the details that you have no way of knowing. The customer is the star of a movie you are directing in their mind. Cause them to see themselves smiling joyfully. The hovering question mark that vibrates in their mind is called customer engagement. Lights. Camera. Action.

    Great companies puts their energies into the creation of a process that will ensure the happiness of their customer.

    Then they insist that their ad writers describe every detail of that process until there is nothing left to surprise and delight you. Until the customer desires the outcome, they have no interest in the process. If you want them to watch your movie, make sure it begins with a happy ending.

    Several things were ungrammatical in my 118-word call-to-action,

    one of which was a shift from past-tense to present-tense within a sequence of connected sentences. “You knew you were in love before you got here. Your partner knew it, too.” The past-tense verbs within those two sentences take you into a possible future and cause you to look back at an experience you have not yet had. Then I shifted into present-tense verbs. “But neither of you are prepared for the wonder of how deeply in love you really are.” Your mind is now imagining the experiences you will share at this place you have never been, and don’t know how to get to. I never said it was the most romantic spot on earth. You did.

    Roy H. Williams

    Duane Scott Cerny is an expert on dead people. (Or, more precisely, he is an expert at selling their possessions when they’re gone.) A best-selling author, music producer, lyricist, and newspaper columnist, Duane runs Chicago’s largest antiques mall and fully understands the formula for business success. Thanks to his ability to listen closely to his customers and adapt to ever-changing tastes, Duane is celebrating his mall’s 34th anniversary this year. “Not only is Duane business savvy,” says roving reporter Rotbart, “he is a born entertainer and storyteller. I had a marvelous time doing this interview.” The time is now. The place is MondayMorningRadio.com.

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    4 mins
  • Listen to Your Friends
    Oct 21 2024

    Calvin is looking up into a star-filled sky when he says to his tiger friend Hobbes,

    “If people looked at the stars each night, I bet they’d live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.”

    My friends are Calvin. I am Hobbes.

    Last week Hobbes was complaining to Jeffrey Eisenberg about his frustration with a company that had “upgraded” its website, making it impossible for Hobbes to buy what they were trying to sell. Jeffrey responded like Calvin,

    “The only things that matter online are Motivation, Momentum, and Friction. It sounds like this company has introduced so much Friction into the buying process that your decision to purchase has lost its Momentum and your Motivation is about to disappear. Am I right?”

    Jeffrey’s summary was so piercingly accurate that all I could do was vibrate my head up and down in a sort of big-eyed, high-frequency nod.

    Motivation, Momentum, and Friction are the only three dials that matter on the e-commerce machine.

    1. Turn the knobs of the first two dials all the way to the right.
    2. Turn the knob of the third dial all the way to the left.
    3. Stand under the spout where the money gushes out.
    4. Enjoy being rich.

    The next day I got a text from Tim Storm.

    ” I think this needs to be understood: We are literally time travelers.”

    A few moments later, a second text appeared.

    “I don’t use drugs, but that felt profound to realize.”

    Tim is right, of course. Physically, we are 3-dimensional creatures traveling through a 4th dimension called time.

    Friends say insightful things if you’re listening.

    Perhaps the most impactful thing a friend ever shared with me happened 48 years ago. He said,

    “Depression is unfocused despair. You can rise above it by trying to help someone else. When you see a person who is sad or worried or afraid, take a few minutes to encourage them. Forget about your own problems and focus on theirs. Find a person who needs help and help them! If they’re trying to carry something heavy, help them carry it. If they need someone to help them scrape bubblegum off the bottoms of school desks, help them do it. When you make a series of little differences, you win a series of little victories. Keep this up and the cloud over your head will fade away and the sun will shine again. This has always worked for me. Perhaps it will work for you, too.”

    He was right. It has always worked for me.

    Perhaps it will work for you, too.

    His name was David. You would have liked him.

    Roy H. Williams

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    4 mins

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