gAy A: The Queer Sober Hero Show

Written by: Steve Bennet-Martin
  • Summary

  • gAy A delivers inspiring stories about queer people in sobriety who are achieving amazing feats in their recovery, proving that we are all LGBTQIA+ sober heroes.

    If you are looking for a safe space where all queer people, no matter their gender, sexual orientation, age, length of sober time, or method of recovery are valid, this is the sober show for you. If you are sober, you are a hero!

    This show is not affiliated with any program or institution, so you will hear stories from alcoholics and addicts where people mention getting sober using recovery methods such as rehabilitation, both inpatient and outpatient rehabs, sober living, hospitals, and some of us who got sober at home on our own. Guests may mention twelve step programs like AA, CMA, SMART Recovery, or other methods, while accepting that no one answer is perfect for everyone.

    This podcast will provide valuable insights for any interested in learning more about queer recovery, from those of us with years or even decades of recovery under their belt, to people just beginning their sobriety journey, to even the sober curious or friends and family of alcoholics and addicts.

    Each week, host Sober Steve the Podcast Guy tries to answer the following questions in various formats and with different perspectives:

    · How do I get and stay sober in the queer community?

    · Can you have fun while being sober and gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, or queer?

    · What does a sober life as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community look like?

    · Where do sober gay and queer people hang out?

    · How can I have good sex sober?

    · What are tips and tricks for early sobriety?

    · How can I get unstuck or out of this rut in my recovery?

    · How will my life change if I get sober?

    · Can you be queer and sober and happy?

    · How can I untangle sex and alcohol and drugs?

    © 2025 gAy A: The Queer Sober Hero Show
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Episodes
  • The AI Interview – Answering Big Questions About Queer Sobriety with Phil B
    Feb 13 2025

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    Super Sober Heroes, we're back for Part 2 with Phil B, co-founder of Here Queer Sober! 🎉 And this time, we’re shaking things up—AI is asking the questions!

    Phil and I tackle some of the biggest misconceptions and deeper truths about queer sobriety, including:
    Can queer and sober people actually have fun? (Spoiler: YES.)
    What’s it like dating and navigating relationships in sobriety?
    How do chosen families evolve in recovery?
    What’s one piece of wisdom we wish we knew in our first year?
    How to respond when someone says, ‘I can’t imagine being queer and sober.’

    Plus, we chat more about the first-ever Hear Queer Sober Conference coming September 27-29, 2024, in NYC—and how you can be part of it! 🌈✨

    Resources & Links:

    📍 Register for the Here Queer Sober Conference:
    ➡️ Find the link pinned in the Here Queer Sober Facebook Group
    📧 Email Phil at philip@hearqueersober.org

    📢 Want to lead a workshop or panel?
    🎤 DM me on Instagram @gAyApodcast

    📍 Follow Phil & Here Queer Sober:
    📲 Instagram: @herequeersober

    🎧 Listen now & join the conversation! And as always—stay sober, friends. 💖✨

    Support the show

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    16 mins
  • Coming Out the Other Side with Phil B – Career, Recovery & Here Queer Sober
    Feb 6 2025

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    Super Sober Heroes, welcome back! Today, I’m joined once again by my dear friend and co-founder of Here Queer Sober, Phil B! With 7 years, 9 months, and 24 days sober, Phil shares about his whirlwind year—completing his master’s degree in counseling, navigating job offers, moving into his own apartment, and embracing the next chapter of his recovery and career.

    We also dive into:
    ✨ The big life transitions that tested his recovery—and how he stayed grounded
    ✨ Balancing sobriety & career in addiction counseling
    ✨ Finding the right meeting routine after so much change
    ✨ The first-ever Here Queer Sober Conference (coming September 27-29, 2024) and how you can get involved!

    Phil reminds us that sobriety isn’t about avoiding life—it’s about showing up fully, embracing change, and creating something meaningful. 🌈💪

    Resources & Links:

    📍 Register for the Here Queer Sober Conference:
    ➡️ Find the link pinned in the Here Queer Sober Facebook Group
    📧 Email Phil at philip@herequeersober.org

    📢 Want to lead a workshop or panel?
    🎤 DM me on Instagram @gAyApodcast

    📍 Follow Phil & Here Queer Sober:
    📲 Instagram: @herequeersober

    🎧 Listen now & get ready for part two with Phil coming soon! And as always—stay sober, friends. 💖✨

    Support the show

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    19 mins
  • Feeling the Feelings ft. Holland
    Jan 30 2025

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    In this episode of Gay A: The Queer Sober Hero Show, host Steve is joined by the amazing Holland, who shares his journey to recovery, approach to spirituality, and how sobriety has transformed his life. Holland, who celebrates a sobriety date of February 2, 2022, opens up about growing up in Hawaii and Alaska, their struggles with addiction, and finding their way back to recovery after a series of challenges. Holland also discusses the importance of service, humility, and staying connected to their queer and recovery communities.

    Key Topics Discussed:

    • Holland’s early years in Hawaii and Alaska and their experience with addiction starting at a young age.
    • The challenges of balancing recovery and spirituality and how embracing ambiguity with their higher power has been a game-changer.
    • How sobriety has allowed them to process big feelings and lean on tools like therapy, service, and community connection.
    • The power of service in recovery, from giving rides to newcomers to being active in the service structure of AA.
    • Navigating friendships, relationships, and dating as a queer person in recovery and the importance of setting boundaries and standards.
    • Holland’s daily practices for maintaining sobriety, including meditation, gratitude, and embracing humility in their professional and personal life.
    • A focus on progress over perfection and the mantra, “Let go, let God,” that keeps them grounded.

    Memorable Quotes:

    • “Being sober means I get to feel all the big feelings and then rely on tools to not do the crazy next steps.”
    • “I never want to be too big to clean up chairs because that’s where I meet future sponsees.”
    • “You don’t have to pay back taxes for the person you were. You deserve good things now.”

    Resources Mentioned:

    • Book: Every Feeling Is Big – A poetry book about heartbreak and relationships in recovery. [Available on Amazon.]

    Stay Connected:

    Follow us on Instagram @gAyApodcast for updates, behind-the-scenes content, and more.

    Support the show

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    24 mins

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