In this episode of webe Pärents, Drs. Matthew Lederman and Alona Pulde tackle the deeply polarizing effects of current events and explore how these dynamics show up in our homes. Recorded in the wake of a heated election, they reflect on personal stories of their children's surprising reactions and offer practical steps to foster connection rather than division.

Through honest dialogue, Matt and Alona delve into how groupthink and "group hate" fuel the polarization tearing at the fabric of our society. They discuss how enemy images, judgment, and unchecked narratives perpetuate disconnection—and how to counteract them by leading with empathy, values, and open-hearted conversations.

Polarization often stems from an unmet need for empathy. When groups come together around shared hatred or opposition to someone, there's a tragic sense of connection—a shared outlet for expressing frustration or anger. While this might provide temporary relief, it deepens divisions and keeps us stuck in cycles of blame and toxicity.

Anger can also serve as a mask, protecting us from feeling deeper emotions like fear, pain, or worry. Yet, staying in anger doesn’t address the underlying needs or lead to solutions. A more constructive approach involves pausing, reflecting, and connecting with those deeper emotions, both within ourselves and with others.

For instance, with children, rather than labeling their anger or actions as “bad,” we can help them explore what unmet needs their feelings stem from. Encouraging them to identify and express these needs fosters understanding and avoids moralistic judgments of others. This same principle applies to adult conflicts. Whether it’s a disagreement between siblings or a national political divide, staying at the level of “who’s right” or “who started it” keeps us disconnected.

By shifting the focus from strategies—what someone did—to the underlying needs and feelings, we can open a path to connection. In moments of conflict, we can ask: What are my feelings trying to tell me? What unmet needs are behind them? Then, we extend the same curiosity toward the other person: What are they feeling and needing? When we listen to each other’s needs without judgment, we create the space for strategies that work for everyone involved.

This approach is especially challenging in situations where we lack direct influence over outcomes, like political decisions. But here, too, we can practice staying connected to needs—our own and those of others—even when strategies don’t align. Mourning unmet needs and grieving without creating an "enemy image" of others helps to heal rather than further divide.

Polarization feeds on extreme perspectives and the dehumanization of opposing views. To counter this, we can model compassion, curiosity, and care in our daily lives. The more people join this “radical middle,” rejecting polarization in favor of nuanced understanding, the stronger and more united our communities become. As individuals, we may not change governments overnight, but we can shift the cultural tide. Governments ultimately reflect the collective voice of the people—if that voice is united rather than polarized, it can lead to systemic change.

The key tools in this journey are pausing to reflect, staying curious, avoiding judgment, and changing the narrative. When we stop labeling others as “bad” or “wrong” and focus instead on their actions and

To learn more about what Alona & Matt are up to check us out at webeparents.com, or follow us on our socials at Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, or YouTube. Be sure to subscribe to webe Pärents wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.

In this episode of webe Pärents, Dr. Alona Pulde and Dr. Matthew Lederman explore the complex yet crucial skill of mediating conflicts in a way that fosters connection rather than division. Through relatable stories, they illustrate how well-meaning attempts at peacemaking among children can sometimes escalate disputes, highlighting that quick fixes often overlook the underlying needs and emotions that fuel conflict.

The doctors share stories about children trying to mediate disagreements among friends and family, like a young girl caught between cousins in a board game argument or a boy attempting to settle a soccer field dispute. These examples reveal that rushing to solutions can backfire when emotional needs aren’t addressed first.

Emphasizing empathy, Dr. Lederman and Dr. Pulde discuss how parents can shift from aiming to “solve” conflicts to supporting understanding and connection. They stress the importance of recognizing our own biases as parents—like seeking immediate peace for our own sense of calm—which can cloud our ability to mediate effectively. Instead, they recommend “heart hugs” or empathetic listening as tools to help children feel heard and understood.

This episode empowers parents with practical insights and tools to approach conflict from a space of empathy, supporting connection rather than simply imposing resolutions. With strategies like empathy over judgment, parents can better navigate family dynamics and cultivate lasting harmony in their homes.

Ever feel like kids' arguments are endless? Try shifting the focus from ‘who's right’ to understanding why they want what they want. It could be about feeling valued, secure, or heard. In those tense moments, acknowledge their feelings and encourage empathy—like helping them understand each other’s needs. We even ask, ‘Is your heart feeling soft or tight?’ to check if they’re ready to connect. Once they understand each other, kids often come up with solutions themselves! The trick? Focus on connection, not control, and watch the magic happen. 💫

To learn more about what Alona & Matt are up to check us out at webeparents.com, or follow us on our socials at Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, or YouTube. Be sure to subscribe to webe Pärents wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.

🌼 New Episode of webe Pärents: "Your Beautiful Flower" 🌼

In this heartwarming episode, Dr. Alona Pulde and Dr. Matthew Lederman dive deep into helping children recognize their inherent value, beyond comparisons and external validation. 💛

Through personal stories and expert advice, they share how parents can empower their kids to face challenges like teasing at school or reading difficulties with confidence and self-respect. They tackle tough topics like shame, powerlessness, and how kids often measure themselves against others, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

Dr. Pulde and Dr. Lederman also explore how even well-meaning praise can backfire if it ties children’s self-worth to outside approval. Instead, they advocate for celebrating actions that align with values and meet deeper needs, nurturing children’s natural sense of worth.

🎧 Tune in to discover how to raise empowered, confident children who know their value is in who they are, not how they compare to others! 🌱

To learn more about what Alona & Matt are up to check us out at webeparents.com, or follow us on our socials at Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, or YouTube. Be sure to subscribe to webe Pärents wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts.