Showing results by author "Heide Goody" in All Categories

When Jeremy Clovenhoof realises that he's become too fond of his creature comforts, he signs on as a roadie for a Danish heavy metal band and goes on tour. A whirlwind adventure of sex, drugs and rock and roll awaits this horny devil. However, things take a turn for the ridiculous when they pick up a band of Morris dancers on their way to a grudge match competition in the North of England.

As punishment for his part in an attempted coup in heaven, the archangel Michael is banished to Earth. The holiest of the angelic host has to learn to live as a mortal - not an easy job when you’ve got Satan as a next-door neighbor. Michael soon finds that being a good person involves more than helping out at Sunday school and attending church coffee mornings. He has to find his purpose in life, deal with earthly temptations, and solve a mystery involving some unusual monks and a jar of very dangerous jam.

Morag Murray works for the secret government organization responsible for making sure the apocalypse goes as smoothly and as quietly as possible. In her first week on the job, Morag has to hunt down a man-eating starfish, solve a supernatural murder, and, if she's got time, prevent her own inevitable death.

Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.

The aristocracy abide by a different set of rules...or so it seems to Sam Applewhite when her job brings her to Candlebroke Hall, the stately home. The burglary definitely wasn’t what it appeared to be, and the subsequent accidents suggest that it’s a dangerous place to spend time. Sam is caught up in events as she tries to protect the interests of young Hilde Odinson, part of the local viking family. The Odinsons insist on doing things their own way though, with scant regard for the law.

When a client tells Sam Applewhite she’s seen ghosts in the nearby graveyard, Sam dismisses it as the ramblings of an old woman. She’s got bigger things to worry about. Keeping on top of her job at DefCon4 Security Services isn’t easy - particularly since her manager is a cactus, and no one will tell her what her job actually is. But when the ghost-spotting client goes missing, and only Sam suspects foul play, she is compelled to dig deeper.

The Venislarn. Vastly intelligent aliens from another dimension or dribbling insane gods from a distant realm? It’s impossible to tell. What’s certain is that they’re here and they’re going to destroy our world. But, hey, there’s no mileage to be gained from telling the kiddywinks that monsters are real.

Meet Sam Applewhite, a security consultant with no staff, no resources, and some big jobs to tackle. When an armed robber targets a local bank, things quickly go wrong and hostages are taken. Sam’s stage magician dad is in the firing line and no magic tricks are going to get him out of this situation. The police say they’ve got things under control, but Sam knows there’s something strange going on. Why has a law-abiding man suddenly turned to crime? How can it be an armed robbery if the robber has left his gun at home? Sam has to put the pieces together before it’s too late.

There’s something very wrong at the Otterside care home. When Sam Applewhite tries to help a friend who’s lost a beloved pet she finds that it’s just the first in a series of seemingly unconnected deaths. Is it her imagination, or do all of them somehow point back to the same residential home for seniors? Sam’s skills are in demand elsewhere however, as she must orchestrate a safety drill with animal actors, cook dinner on an abandoned oil rig, and keep an eye on those vikings who are building a longship.

With fox hunting banned, is hunting humans the next best countryside sport for the most wealthy and ruthless thrill-seekers? Rumours of the "Wild Chase" have circulated for years but Sam Applewhite refuses to believe them, until she is invited to a party at the opulent estate of country gent (and alleged Russian oligarch) Elgin Jubilee. It’s not her usual scene, but Sam can’t resist a brightly coloured cocktail. Also, this party is her chance to come face to face with the man responsible for stealing her father’s fortune.

Ella Hannaford has a small business to run, an overworked father to look after and a future stepmother who wants a perfect wedding.

All Nick wants to do is take his dying father for a perfect father-son weekend in the Scottish Highlands. It’s not much to ask, is it? A log cabin, a roaring fire, a bottle of fine whiskey, and two days to paper over the cracks in their relationship. However, Nick didn’t plan on making the trip with a dead neighbour in the back of his car. Or the neighbour’s dog. He really didn’t plan on being pursued by a psychotic female assassin intent on collecting body parts.

The world’s last day has arrived. Hell itself has come to Earth. Streets of fire, rivers of blood, and the trains aren’t running on time. But Morag Murray isn’t going down without a fight. And as the mother to the anti-Christ, she feels a wee bit responsible.

Stephen and his friends spent their teenage years immersed in the fantasy gaming worlds of wizards and warriors, undertaking quests to fight evil occultists, vanquish terrible monsters, and rescue damsels in distress. Now, 20-something years later, there is a real-life quest. Life as a monk has hardly prepared Brother Stephen for the mission ahead. Demon Rutspud is definitely not a damsel, but he is in distress. The evil occultists are real and if Stephen doesn’t rescue Rutspud from a fate worse than death, no one will...

When Jeremy Clovenhoof decides to set himself up as president for life of his own breakaway country, he knows he’ll need money, lots and lots of money. That might be a bit difficult, particularly since the Inland Revenue has just presented him with an enormous tax bill and Heaven and Hell have sent Joan of Arc and Rutspud of the Sixth Circle to bring him under control.

To the devil a daughter! Parenthood can come as a shock to some. It’s especially shocking if you are Satan, the Prince of Hell, and are trying to live a quiet life of semi-retirement in suburban England under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof. Clovenhoof quickly finds that being a single parent involves more than lullabies and nappies and has to contend with social disapproval, paternity tests and, possibly, the end of the world.

Jenny doesn’t know what they’ll do when they find out she’s a wicked witch. She can’t help being a wicked witch. It’s in her blood. She’s supposed to eat children, blast people with witchfire, and plot dark deeds with her foul-mouthed imp familiar, Jizzimus. Instead, she’s rescued a girl, Kay, from a band of people traffickers. To keep her safe they have signed up for a college course in an English country mansion. Jizzimus is not impressed. The mansion is not the safe haven they thought it would be.

Morag Murray is about to give birth to the Venislarn anti-Christ, and her baby is eager to be born. With only the possessed doll Steve the Destroyer to help her through her labors, she knows that when this child is born, the earth will face its final day. Nina Seth is literally out of her own time. An evil sorceress is causing havoc in 18th-century England.

Life at St Cadfan’s is never dull. There’s the cellar full of unexplained corpses. There’s the struggle to find food when the island is placed under quarantine. And there’s that peculiar staircase in the cellar.... Being a demon in Hell has its own problems. There’s the increasingly impossible torture quotas to meet. There’s the entire horde of Hell waiting for you to slip up and make a mistake. And there’s that weird staircase in the service tunnels.

Isolation is no joking matter but Jeremy Clovenhoof just can’t help himself. Join Clovenhoof on the first of six short adventures in the strange world of lockdown. A 100 percent of author profits from his edition of the book will go to The Trussell Trust, a charity that supports 1,200 UK food banks and provides emergency food and support to people locked in poverty, people who need help more than ever at this time.