Showing results by narrator "Stig Wemyss" in All Categories

Eli Bell’s life is complicated. His father is lost, his mother is in jail, and his stepdad is a heroin dealer. The most steadfast adult in Eli’s life is Slim - a notorious felon and national record holder for successful prison escapes - who watches over Eli and August, his silent genius of an older brother. Exiled far from the rest of the world in Darra, this 12-year-old boy with an old soul and an adult mind is trying to follow his heart, learn what it takes to be a good man, and train for a glamorous career in journalism. But life insists on throwing obstacles in Eli’s path.

Andy and Terry have built their biggest and most astonishing treehouse yet! It has everything they – and you – could wish for, including an electric pony stable, a Santa Land, a NOISY level, a kangaroo-riding range, a WHATEVER-WEATHER-YOU-WANT dome, a 100% edible gingerbread house and a hall of funhouse mirrors. But Anti-Andy, Terrible-Terry and Junkyard-Jill, their doppelgangers, are trapped in one of the mirrors – and they want out.

Arto has a problem. For one, he's a robot. He’s awoken with no memory of who he is, with nothing but a mysterious letter, in a world bereft of those fleshy, talky things that made him. So why is he alone, and where have all the people gone? He stumbles upon a lost, cheeky kitten and selects it as his best friend for the adventure of a lifetime, trying to make sense of all this existence stuff. Just as Arto begins to fear he's the only sentient thing left on the whole planet, a cantankerous robot falls from the sky. She says she's his sister.

Well, it was like this. Come and I'll tell you about the time I tricked the last dragon of all. "Jack has an extraordinary new friend. Tashi comes from a place far away and tells the best stories - about how he escaped from a war lord and flew to Australia on a swan. About how he was chased by a giant.

In today's ruthless world of organised crime, the best criminals aren't foolish enough to steal money out of banks. They wear tailored suits, carry briefcases, and discreetly slip money into banks. Bigwigs, oligarchs and crime syndicates running drugs, trafficking guns and people, arming terrorists and subverting government controls are desperate to put a legitimate face on their wealth. Washing dirty money, moving it around the globe, making it look legitimate is where the action is for both criminals and the authorities chasing them.

Trick or treat! Halloween’s coming up, and Bella and Weir are busy working on their funny costumes. But everything will be turned upside down when Weir Do finds out his family is moving away. It won't be easy, but it will be funny.

Andy and Danny boldly go where sensible people fear to tread. Just how stupid can two human beings be? Just Stupid! provides the answer to this vexing and important question. Winner of AudioFile's Earphones Award - 2005.

Andy's been a bit stressed, so Terry has decided the perfect way for them to relax is to head up to their new camping ground level for a much-needed holiday. But it turns out to be not quite as relaxing as Terry originally planned. Terry forgets to pack the tent and the food, their attempt at fishing ends in disaster, the spooky campfire stories are a little too spooky and then, to make matters worse, all of Andy’s fellow campers start mysteriously disappearing.

Take the disgusting quiz and find out if this is the right audiobook for you!

Do you do any or all of the following: pick your nose, talk in burps, or wee in swimming pools? Do you ever wear the same undies two (or more) days in a row? Do you wish you knew the most disgusting thing in the world? Do you think brussel sprouts are a delicious mouth watering treat? Do you like stories about dead flies, giant slugs, and mysterious brown blobs?

Is this the right book for you? Take the Crazy Test and find out. Do you bounce so high on your bed that you hit your head on the ceiling? Do you ever look in the mirror and see a crazy maniac staring back at you? Do you like to read stories about kittens, puppies and ponies getting mashed and pulverised? Do you sometimes get the urge to take your clothes off and cover yourself in mud? Do you often waste your time on tests like this one?

Andy and Terry are celebrating Christmas in their ever-growing Treehouse, which has 13 new levels, including an aquarium wonderland, a wishing well, a world record–breaking level, a TV quiz show (hosted by no other than Quizzy the quizzical quizbot), a lost property office and a lost sausage office, a super-stinky stuff level and the amazing mind-reading sandwich-making machine, which makes the perfect amazing sandwich for you – every single time!

Is this the right book for you? Take the annoying test and find out. Do you ask 'Are we there yet?' over and over on long car trips? Do you like to drive people mad by copying everything they say and do? Do you hog the shower and use up all the hot water? Do you enjoy asking silly questions that have no real answers? Do you swing on the clothesline whenever you get the chance?

This is our treehouse, come on up! We've added 13 new levels to our treehouse, including a soap-bubble blaster, a grabinator (it can grab anything from anywhere at any time), a time-wasting level, a toilet-paper factory (because you can never have too much toilet paper) and an extra-terrestrial observation centre...which will come in handy when giant flying eyeballs from outer space come to grabinate us!

I think the best number in the whole universe is eight. My friend, Asim, likes numbers about as much as me, but he likes them all - odd or even. Esmarelda, though, who lives across the street, isn't so fond of numbers and she hates math. Singing's more her thing. She's really good, too - nearly as good as my mum. Mum's a professional singer, or was, until we had to move. The worst number in the universe, though, is seven. For a start, it's an odd number, and it's thin and sharp and mean-looking, like a medieval scythe.

Stare, if you dare, into Paul Jennings' wild world. Nine stories that you would never dream of. From one of Australia's most popular authors.

Abel Jackson lives with his mother, Dora, at Longboat Bay, an isolated stretch of coast whose waters teem with fish. Theirs is a simple life. It’s tough. And at times it’s lonely. But Abel has friends in the sea, particularly the magnificent old groper he meets one day while diving for abalone. Abel learns that the sea and its treasures are precious. And as Longboat Bay is threatened by greedy developers and overfishing, Abel and his mum wonder how they can keep their homeplace safe.

Cameron Wolfe is a loser. He knows it. He's the quiet one, not a soccer star like his brother Steve or a charming fighter with a new girl every week like his brother Rube. Cam would give anything to be near one of those girls, to love her and treat her right. He especially likes Rube's latest, Octavia, with her brilliant ideas and bright green eyes. But what woman like that would want a loser like him? Maybe Octavia would, Cam discovers. Maybe he'd even have something to say. And those maybes change everything—winning, loving, losing, the Wolfe brothers and Cameron himself.

"I burst out of a clump of bushes and froze. Silhouetted against the moonlit sky were several massive shapes. What if Eileen had infected something else? What if the hospital had cockroaches? Or bedbugs? What if the frogs weren't all dead? I stifled a scream."

I gulped. My mouth was dry. How could I tell her? How could I just announce that her son?s innards had been sucked out by giant worms and that his skin was probably flapping somewhere in the morning breeze? I turned away, struggling to find the words.

A lot of stuff happens in our ever-expanding treehouse. Not everything gets into the books. These are some other things that happened to us. Surreal, funny and supremely silly—all with the spirit of the Treehouse—come on up to hear some Tales from the Treehouse.