Showing results by narrator "Johnny Heller" in All Categories

You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.

Ryan Blair knows about building a business from the ground up. Like many entrepreneurs he had no formal business education. But he had great survival instincts, tenacity, and, above all, a "nothing to lose" mindset.Blair's middle-class childhood came to an abrupt end when his abusive father succumbed to drug addiction and abandoned the family. Blair and his mother moved to a bad neighborhood, and soon he was in and out of juvenile detention, joining a gang just to survive. Then his mother fell in love with a successful entrepreneur who took Ryan under his wing.

This friendly, fun biography series focuses on the traits that made our heroes great - the traits that kids can aspire to in order to live heroically themselves. Each book tells the story of an icon in a lively, conversational way that works well for the youngest nonfiction listeners and that always includes the hero's childhood influences. This book features Leonardo da Vinci, the Renaissance artist and inventor.

Insults are part of the fabric of daily life. But why do we insult each other? Why do insults cause us such pain? Can we do anything to prevent or lessen this pain? Most importantly, how can we overcome our inclination to insult others? In A Slap in the Face, William Irvine undertakes a wide-ranging investigation of insults, their history, the role they play in social relationships, and the science behind them.

This wry collection of Hanukkah noir features eleven stories by critically acclaimed authors that run the gamut from hardboiled to heartfelt, curated by New York Times bestselling author Tod Goldberg. Across eleven stories, award-winning authors spin tales of family, corruption, buried treasure and delightful yet twisted capers that will entertain listeners through all eight nights of the Festival of Lights.

What makes for a successful investor? More important, what makes for a happy and meaningful life? According to legendary investor Jim Rogers, the road to financial success and the road to a meaningful life are one and the same.

Goonies-meets-James-Bond-style hijinks continue with a group of unpopular fifth-graders who run a spy network right under their teachers’ noses. Their tech-loving, geeky ways may get them shunned by the “it” crowd, but with a little help from science, these kids’ most dweeby qualities become big-time weapons in the fight against super-villains.

The nine stories that make up Elizabeth McCracken’s debut story collection deal with oddball characters doing their very best to forge connections with those around them. In “It’s Bad Luck to Die”, a woman marries an older tattoo artist and finds comfort in agreeing to act as a canvas for his most elaborate work. And in the title story, a young man and his wife are perplexed when an outspoken old woman shows up on their doorstep for a visit, claiming to be a distant aunt, even though she can’t be traced on a family tree.

Wedgie loves the new micro-pig next door. And she loves him! They both like to go for walks and roll in smelly things. They are going to be in the school pet parade together. They are best friends. But Gizmo knows the truth. The pig is Wedgie's new sidekick. Super Wedgie and the Toof have teamed up to stop Gizmo from taking over the world. But they will not win! Gizmo is an evil genius. He is smarter than most comic book villains. And more powerful than even Darth Vader! He ordered a flying machine online and he will use it to set free all the guinea pigs at the pet parade.

In this audiobook you'll meet three naughty animals, including Fu Manchu, the orangutan escape artist. Fu Manchu lived at the Omaha Zoo and would routinely break out of his habitat to explore the zoo on a nice day. Zookeepers were baffled as to how the ape was escaping, until one day they caught him in the act. Fu Manchu knew how to pick locks. Not only that, he had created his own tool that he used to pick the locks with, which he would store in his mouth so as not to be found out.

The New York Times best-selling author of the Sisters Grimm series, Michael Buckley has also written and developed shows for Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and Discovery Channel. Supervillain Gerdie Baker, assisted by criminal mastermind Simon, has created a device that opens portals to other worlds, which she and other cheerleaders have been pillaging. But the alternate realities are starting to get awfully close together, so it’s up to Matilda “Wheezer” Choi and the NERDS to stop the cheerleaders before the worlds collide.

Sam Rockwell came home from the Second World War to work as a fledgling private investigator specializing in helping "Returns": recently deceased ghosts who've come back with unfinished business. Short on experience and long on the imitated swagger of the detectives found in his dog-eared collection of pulp fiction P.I. mysteries, the quick-witted Sam waits for his big break - and his chance to win the heart of Amelia, his Girl Friday. But when his no-nonsense father is murdered and becomes a Return himself, everything changes.

Scotland's beloved storyteller, George MacDonald, 19th-century Scottish novelist and poet, was reintroduced to 20th century Christians by C. S. Lewis, whose reading of MacDonald's Phantastes triggered his own spiritual awakening and conversion. Other renowned writers have voiced similar acknowledgements. G. K. Chesterton said of MacDonald, "If we test the matter of originality of attitude, George MacDonald was one of the three or four greatest men of the 19th century."

In Aristotle and an Aardvark Go to Washington, our two favorite philosopher-comedians return just in time to save us from the doublespeak and flim-flam of politics in America.

Deploying jokes as well as the occasional insight from Aristotle and his peers, Cathcart and Klein explain what politicos are up to when they state: "The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence"; "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is"; or even, "We hold these truths to be self-evident...."

In the best-selling tradition of Liar's Poker comes a devastatingly accurate and darkly hilarious behind-the-scenes look at the wonderful world of management consulting.

Ever since his mother died and his father went to Brazil for a scientific expedition, 14-year-old Jacob Lansa has been staying with his grandfather in Poughkeepsie. He longs to join his father and help him set up a jaguar preserve in the rain forest, but he can't miss school. When his father invites him down over spring break, he jumps at the chance.

The sun beats down on seventh-grader Joel and his best friend as they pedal up and down the hills outside of town. Before leaving home, Joel had solemnly promised his father - on his honor - they would only go to the state park. He didn't explain they were planning a daring climb on the sheer river bluffs there.

Once in Golconda is a dramatic chronicle of the breathtaking rise, devastating fall, and painstaking rebirth of Wall Street in the years between the wars. Focusing on the lives and fortunes of some of the era's most memorable traders, bankers, boosters, and frauds, John Brooks brings to vivid life all the ruthlessness, greed, and reckless euphoria of the '20s bull market, the desperation of the days leading up to the crash of '29, and the bitterness of the years that followed.

From Afghanistan's Hindu Kush peaks and sunbaked Helmand Valley to Baghdad, Mosul and Ramadi in Iraq, American snipers have braved heart-pounding situations to hit their human targets dead-on. Few military feats stir the imagination like the image of a pair of riflemen waiting quietly in a building, a bomb crater, or a mountain pass for a Taliban or Al Qaeda fighter to walk into their crosshairs. Sniper presents real-life tales from the military's frontline snipers---their hits and their misses, the anguish of loss, and the anxiety of the first kill.

From R.L. Stine, the master of horror for young listeners, comes ten brand new stories that are sure to have you keeping the light on at bedtime tonight. A boy thinks that a dream factory will help him make his slumber more fun...but what's the line between dream and nightmare? Two kids find an abandoned shack on the side of the road and are determined to make it their new treehouse... but is it as abandoned as it seems? A boy wants to impress a birthday party with this amateur magician skills...but how far will he go to wow the crowd?