Showing results by narrator "Simon Brett" in All Categories

Due to financial hardships at Tawcester Towers, the Dowager Duchess has decreed that the only way the family fortunes can be restored is to marry Blotto off...to an American! Reluctantly, Blotto, together with Twinks and his trusty chauffeur Corky Froggett set sail.

As the First world War rapidly approaches, we arrive in a sleepy south coast town where Max Carrados, the celebrated blind detective, is soon investigating the sudden death of the local museum curator. All is not as it seems, as our blind hero finds himself on the cliff top in a duel to the death with the ruthless German spymaster who is the one who knows The Secret of Headlam Height.

Landing a minor part in the Empire Theatre Eastbourne’s Christmas production of Cinderella, Charles Paris soon discovers that his main role is to gently introduce the show’s baffled American star, Kenny Polizzi, to the bizarre customs of English pantomime. During their sessions in the local pub, Charles finds himself increasingly caught up in Polizzi’s tangled affairs. But Charles is about to be far more involved than he might wish when he stumbles across a body beneath Eastbourne Pier.

Charles Paris is in clover. He has been contracted for three whole months to play brainless bobby Sergeant Clump, foil to the charismatic amateur sleuth, Stanislas Braid, in a TV series of that name. Recourse to the whiskey bottle is still needed, however, to get him through a day’s filming - one made all the more arduous by the pompous posturings of the show’s star, and the constant outraged interruptions of the ancient author whose detective novels are being adapted. Indeed, there is plenty of friction about.

Tawcester Towers, the family seat of the Lyminster family, has suffered an unwelcome injection of distant cousins - so distant that they aren't even British! Count Igor and Count Lyudmilla Bashusky had to flee Russia after the Revolution and have spent the intervening years building up debts in the hotels of Europe's capitals and sponging off ever more exasperated (and distant) relatives.

A rising young stage comedian, who is about to receive his profession's award as ‘Most Promising Newcomer’, dies sensationally on stage at the start of his act; as he picks up the mike, he is electrocuted. Faulty wiring seems to be the cause; no one person is to blame; a verdict of death by misadventure is returned at the inquest.

A three-month run of the new farce, 'Not On Your Wife!', is not to be sniffed at by a jobbing actor. Especially when there’s the distinct possibility of a West End run. Which is why Charles Paris is standing on stage with his trousers round his ankles. Rehearsals have gone well, the laughs are coming and there’s always the attractions of Cookie Stone. But by the time the troupe reaches Bath a darker mood has set in and Charles’ old friend Mark has a drink problem that amounts to a death wish.

A quick trip to the capital goes horribly wrong when Blotto and Twinks get accidentally involved in London's criminal underworld. It starts innocently enough at the intimate review 'absolutely everyone is talking about', Light and Frothy, where its glamorous star, Frou Frou Gavotte, has rather taken the fancy of Blotto's school friend Giles 'Whiffler' Trumpington. But while Blotto and Whiffler wait for the star outside the theatre to take her to dinner, Whiffler is seized and manhandled into the back of a cab which then drives off into the night.

Having landed a small part in a new West End play, The Habit of Faith, Charles Paris is dismayed to discover that his good fortune has been orchestrated by his bête noire, the now-famous screen actor Justin Grover. But why has Grover become involved in this relatively obscure production - and why has he roped in Charles to star? From the outset the production is fraught with difficulties - and matters become even more complicated when a body is discovered at the foot of the dressing room stairs.

The two aristocratic siblings Blotto and Twinks are once again launched into another death-defying adventure, this time in the civil war-torn republic of Jalapeno, in Mexico. But how did they ever get to such a foreign and distant land in the first place? For Twinks it was an easy decision - to escape her mother's match-making attempts she sets out to visit her old friend, Begonia Guiteras, who lives in Jalapeno, which is fortuitously on the doorstep of an Aztec dig Twinks wants to work on.

'What? You mean the earl does it for money? That's way beyond the barbed wire!' This explosion of disgust from Blotto is provoked when Twinks informs him of the activities of the Earl of Woking. The gentleman in question is owner of Clusters, a stately home not far from Tawcester Towers, and he has been renting out parts of Clusters for private functions - and charging his guests! The discovery of this appalling lapse in aristocratic behaviour sets Blotto and Twinks off on their latest adventure.

Once again, the plumbing at Tawcester Towers is causing consternation for the Dowager Duchess, so - unusually for her - she gives her blessing for Blotto to take part in the 'Great Road Race' in his beloved Lagonda... so long as he wins. The first prize of 10,000 pre-War sovereigns will help towards repairing the leaky ancestral home. Blotto elects to take chauffeur Corky Froggett as his spare mechanic, while Twinks is despatched by her mother to the Highlands, to paint water colours and bag herself a wealthy husband.

Blotto and Twinks are off on another adventure - and this time they're bound for the Alpine village of Luzvimmen in Switzerland, where Blotto participates in racing the prestigious and very fast Croissant Run, though someone seems determined to sabotage his chances. Twinks, on the other hand, is on a mission to rescue her friend's sister from the sinister finishing school she is trapped in - the Convent of the Sacred Icicle.

Another hair-raising adventure featuring the aristocratic brother and sister sleuthing duo! The end of the cricket season spells gloom for Blotto until he is invited to bat against the Hollywood cricket team out in sunny LA, where rain never stops play. And so begins the latest adventure for Blotto and his supremely gifted sister, Twinks.

Originally broadcast on Radio 4 in 2003-4, We’ve Been Here Before is the topical, satirical, historical panel game that aims to show beyond all doubt that there’s nothing new in the news. Hosted by award-winning comedian, broadcaster and Whose Line Is It Anyway? star Clive Anderson, it takes a wry, witty look at long-gone days through a present-day lens, as the panellists battle it out to discover who’s got the best memory for detail when it comes to raking up the past.