Gar Ryness
AUTHOR

Gar Ryness

Sports & Outdoors
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Gar Ryness (1973-still alive) is owner of the least marketable skill in America, blessed with the ability to comedically imitate most Major League Baseball hitters of past three decades. Ryness has worked in non-profit ever since graduating Syracuse University ('95). Contrary to conventional wisdom by YouTube commenters, Ryness can actually talk to women and has even been married since 1996. His professors and teachers will be surprised and in some cases frustrated that he has become a published author. Hooked into batting stances by the 1984 Oakland A's, he has written a book w/ neighbor Caleb Dewart that at best will make you laugh, and at worst, will make you think, "Dang, that crazy fool loves him some baseball." Either way, the reader wins. Question: If neighbor Caleb doesn't ask Ryness to video Red Sox and throw it on YouTube, does he appear on Fox Sports Net, ESPN, Late Show w/ David Letterman, New York Times, MLB Network, USA Today, and his mother's prayer group journal? Probably not. Growing up in rough Danville (cough), California, Ryness was the oldest of 4 siblings. Early on, was pegged as the least talented of the four. Sister Bevin an accomplished singer, sister Natalie, a storyboard artist for films, and brother Bryce on Broadway. The pinnacle of sibling insanity came on July 13, 2009 when both brothers strangely appeared on rival late night talk shows. Ryness appeared as a guest on The Late Show with David Letterman between Jonah Hill and Kelly Clarkson. The younger Bryce Ryness appeared on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien in the cast of HAIR on Broadway. Both aired simultaneously with their parents not-armed with TiVo, Setting up the age old question, "When faced with both your sons appearing on late night talk shows, which one would you watch?" Good news- they set up 2 old school VCRs to record both shows. Bad news- the boys' father already taped over Letterman with a random SF Giants game.
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