The number one way to tank the holidays for your family isn’t burnt rolls, forgotten gifts, or a crooked tree. It’s walking into every room wound tight, resentful, and pretending your energy isn’t affecting anyone.

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike break down what kids actually remember about the holidays (hint: not the matching pajamas) and why your nervous system becomes the emotional backdrop of the season. Drawing from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, Gottman’s research, and Polyvagal Theory, they explain how kids store emotional memories more deeply than the details of any event.

You’ll hear real-life stories, honest confessions, and simple tools to help you pause before you snap, breathe through triggers, and become more of a thermostat than a tornado.

Plus, they’ll walk you through practical ways to share the holiday mental load, so you’re not carrying 99% of the invisible prep while resenting everyone else.

If the holidays feel heavy, you’re not failing. You’re just carrying too much alone. Let’s change that.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why the emotional climate of the home matters more than perfect food, outfits, or décor

• How kids “remember” holidays in their bodies, not just with their minds

• What research from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, Gottman, and Polyvagal Theory tells us about stress, safety, and childhood memories

• The difference between being “yourself” and becoming an emotional tornado in a shared space

• Why moms especially feel pressure to “make it magical” and how that pressure slides into performance mode

• Common holiday nervous system triggers:

  • Family dynamics that make you feel like you’re 12 again

  • Financial strain and gift pressure

  • Schedules being completely off (bedtimes, routines, sugar, travel)

• A simple nervous system reset you can use in the bathroom, car, or closet in 20–30 seconds

• How to take a pause without abandoning the conversation or triggering your partner

• Using micro-plans and 5-minute check-ins to prevent 80% of holiday resentment

• How to share the load before you explode (including using a “mental load brain dump” list together)

• 10-Day Holiday Mental Load Series – short daily videos to help you regulate, set boundaries, and share the load this season.

• Holiday Mental Load Brain Dump / Template – get everything out of your head and into a shared plan with your partner.

• Our Current Offers for Expecting and New Parents – coaching, workshops, and resources at: postpartumtogether.com → “Current Offerings.”

ou made it to the final episode of our 10-day Holiday Mental Load Series, and that says something meaningful about who you are as a partner and a parent.
You’ve shown up with intention, reflection, honesty, and a desire to make this season lighter for everyone in your home, including yourself.

In today’s wrap-up, we look back on everything you’ve covered:
• Home + hosting• Family logistics• Event schedules• Emotional labor• Your own sanity + capacity• Travel prep• Gift logistics• Shared planning• Mixed emotions

And most importantly, you now have the language, tools, and clarity to share the load instead of silently carrying it alone.

In this episode, we talk about:
• The patterns couples fall into during early parenthood• Why awareness is the first step toward change• How to keep using these tools through the whole year• What “teamwork” actually looks like in real life• How to protect your relationship from default-parent burnout• Why you didn’t do anything wrong — you were just doing too much

👉 Download the free Holiday Mental Load Breakthrough
Use the brain dump, holiday categories, emotional prompts, and weekly planning tools to support your conversations and protect your connection this season:
https://www.postpartumtogether.com/mental-load-braindump-holiday

You deserve a holiday that feels connected, not chaotic.
And you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Today we’re talking about something almost every new parent experiences during the holidays, but few couples actually prepare for: Mixed emotions.

Because December isn’t just joy and magic.
It’s overstimulation, nostalgia, grief, pressure, expectations, family dynamics, exhaustion, and the ache of wanting the holidays to feel a certain way… while navigating a very tender season of parenthood.

And partners don’t always feel the same way at the same time.

In this episode, we unpack:
• Why mixed emotions are normal (and expected) in early parenthood• How emotional load is just as real as logistical load• What happens when couples don’t talk about what they’re feeling• How to avoid “emotion mismatch resentment”• The “Name + Ask” Method for emotional clarity• What emotional support looks like in real, practical ways• How to honor both partners’ internal experiences — even when they’re different

This is one of the most human, heartfelt conversations of the series, and it’s designed to help couples feel safer, softer, and more connected during a season that often feels emotionally overwhelming.

👉 Download the free Holiday Mental Load Breakthrough
Use the emotional labor prompts, boundary-setting questions, holiday expectations mapping, and weekly planning sheets to support these conversations:
https://www.postpartumtogether.com/mental-load-braindump-holiday

Mixed emotions aren’t the problem.
Silence is.
You deserve emotional support this season and so does your partner.