“Let’s just figure it all out right now…”
You’ve said it. Or your partner has. And before you know it, it’s 10:30pm, you’re in survival mode, and the ‘solution’ turns into another fight.

In this episode of Better Relationships After Baby, Chelsea and Mike get honest about why trying to fix your relationship during fight-or-flight doesn’t work and what to do instead.

You’ll learn:

• What happens in your brain and body during conflict

• Why “just talking it out” often backfires

• The neuroscience behind repair and regulation

• How to pause a fight without ignoring it

• Tools you can use to come back together in a healthier, more connected way

This is the next step after last week’s viral episode on feeling touched out. Together, they unpack what stress really does to our relationships and how to build safety, repair, and teamwork in the hard moments.

“You can’t fix a relationship in fight-or-flight. But you can come back stronger.”

• 🎧 Missed last week’s episode? Listen to: ⁠Touched Out: What Your Nervous System Is Trying to Tell You⁠

• 🔄 Reconnection Kit for Couples: ⁠Download Here⁠

• 💬 Work with Chelsea & Mike: ⁠Coaching Options⁠

References:

• Gottman Institute: Physiological Self-Soothing During Conflict

• NIH Study: Stress and Marital Communication

Keywords:

• fight or flight in relationships

• relationship repair after conflict

• nervous system and conflict resolution

• postpartum relationship struggles

• co-regulation for couples

• how to stop fighting with your partner

• stress and communication in marriage

• parenting and relationship stress

• emotional disconnection in relationships

• nervous system dysregulation and intimacy

Ever felt like you want a connection, but the thought of one more person touching you makes your skin crawl?

You’re not cold. You’re not broken. You might just be touched out.

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike dig into what’s really happening when physical affection feels like too much, especially in the postpartum season. Using Polyvagal Theory as a framework, they explore how your nervous system responds to chronic stress, the mental load, and overstimulation.

They talk about:

• Why being touched out is not just a mom thing (though it hits moms hard)

• The science behind why your body says “no” even when your heart says “yes”

• How to recognize when your nervous system is in shutdown or high alert

• The power of co-regulation (and why it’s more effective than just pushing through)

• Tools that help you reconnect even if you only have five minutes

This isn’t about fixing your partner. It’s about understanding yourself, offering compassion, and having new language to break old cycles.

Want to dive deeper into the science?
👉 Link to Dr. Sarah’s podcast with Dr. Stephen Porges's team

Ready for simple ways to rebuild connection at home?
👉 Link to the Reconnection Kit for Couples

Curious about the card deck we mentioned?
👉 Link to Love Lingual Cards

This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt close, but also miles apart, and wants a better way back to each other.

You’re in the same room, but it feels like miles apart.
You love your partner, but you feel more like co-managers than a couple.
Sound familiar?

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike get real about the signs of emotional disconnection that show up after having a baby, often quietly and gradually. From scorekeeping and silence to intimacy struggles and the nervous system overload no one warns you about, they unpack what drifting apart really looks like and why it’s not a sign you’re broken.

If you’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch, wondering how you got here—or how to get back—this episode is for you.

You’ll hear:

• How emotional disconnect shows up in everyday life

• Why resentment and avoidance don’t mean you’ve “fallen out of love”

• Tools to start reconnecting without pressure or blame

• A powerful reframe: “The story I’m telling myself is…”

📥 Grab the free Conversation Starters for Tired Parents:
https://postpartumtogether.com/communication-scripts

💬 Want our help rebuilding together? Join our 6-week couples coaching program: https://postpartumtogether.com/welcome

You’re not alone. And you don’t have to stay disconnected.

Tell us what you thought of the episode: chelsea@postpartumtogether.com