Revisiting one of our most popular episodes, originally published exactly one year ago

These final few days of the year are a great time to reflect on the year that’s past and think about what we’d like to focus on or accomplish in the New Year. And in this episode, I’m sharing a three-part process that might just become your new end-of-year ritual. Instead of your New year’s Resolutions being a well-intentioned flash in the pan, we’re going to kindle a flame that will burn brightly all year.

Key Takeaways

- Reflecting on our past successes, however modest, helps build the self-efficacy needed for future change
- Connecting our goals to our values helps us tap into the intrinsic motivations that fuels sustained effort.
- Link each goal to an identity statement that reflects who you want to become, not just what you want to achieve
- Focus on no more than 2-3 goals at a time to avoid overwhelming yourself and diluting your efforts
- Create "if-then" commitments for how you will handle potential obstacles when they arise

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What if the pursuit of happiness is NOT the path to greater life satisfaction? What if being more productive and getting more done isn’t actually the way to get ahead?

In this episode, I'm revisiting my conversation with author Oliver Burkeman about some of the ways in which we might want to re-examine our relationship to goals, happiness, and the things that are most important to us.

This is sometimes a bit painful. because so much of it has to do with confronting some of the hard limits that we like to pretend don’t exist. But, as you’ll hear, there is ultimately a profound relief and freedom to be found in facing finitude.

Key Takeaways

1. Try to find satisfaction in the journey toward your goals, rather than postponing fulfillment until they are achieved​​.
2. Cultivating your ability to be present to everyday, even mundane, moments can lead to a deeper appreciation of life as it unfolds.
3. Understand that every choice has its consequences, and it’s impossible to avoid negative outcomes entirely.
4. Some of the most meaningful experiences in life are not the result of meticulous planning or pursuit but unexpected and unplanned.
5. Being present is a skill that can be practiced in everyday situations like waiting in line or working in the office​​–and not just on the meditation cushion or yoga mat.

Mentioned in this Episode

Upcoming Live Events for Meditations for Mortals

The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking

4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

50K Mile Tune-up Listening Guide and Workbook

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.

Ready for some time travel? Your Current Self was once your Future Self. And I’m guessing that Past You had big plans for Current You (previously, Future You).

In this episode, we’re exploring how our lives and habits have and haven’t evolved in the ways we expected or hoped, and how we can use that information to our (current and future) advantage.

Plus: It’s time to open a Change Academy time capsule!

Highlights

- How to make the future feel more vivid—and more motivating

- A journaling prompt that can shift your behavior right now

- What it means when your letter to the future is full of “I hope…”

- Assessing whether your present actions align with your desired legacy

Mentioned

The Science of Why We Doomscroll by Emily Falk (New York Times gift link)

What We Value: The Neuroscience of Choice and Change, by Emily Falk

Letter to my Future Self Worksheet

Futureme.org (send yourself an email in the future)

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.