Are you guilty of holding yourself (or others) to impossibly high standards?

In this episode, we're exploring the concept of Ought implies can—the notion that we can only be obligated to do what we’re actually capable of. But how do we know where the limits of ability really are?

Are we being too hard on ourselves (or others)? Or are we making excuses?

Learning how to tell the difference can help you set fair, realistic, and empowering expectations—for yourself and everyone around you.

Key Takeaways

- Capacity includes more than just your physical ability to do something—cognitive, emotional, and situational factors also shape what’s truly possible.
- There's an important difference between "I can't" and "I can't yet."
- Acknowledging barriers or limitations is not an excuse, it's an invitation.
- When setting expectations—of yourself or others—check your assumptions. Are you asking for something that’s actually within reach? Or are you expecting the impossible?

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Feeling stuck in the daily grind? Quitting isn’t the only way out. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Grossmeier shares how to find meaning, connection, and even transcendence in the job you have now.

We explore:
- How small shifts in perspective can reignite purpose and satisfaction
- The power of workplace connections and why they matter more than you think
- Simple, science-backed practices to reset, refocus, and thrive at work
- Why transcendence is a job skill—and how to cultivate it

Whether you love your job, feel stuck, or are considering a change, this episode will challenge you to think differently about work—and yourself.

Key Takeaways

- Work can be so much more than just tasks and productivity when we bring our best selves and connect to a larger purpose.
- Instead of leaving a job that feels misaligned, shifting how you approach your work can bring new fulfillment.
- Meaningful relationships at work enhance well-being, performance, and job satisfaction
- Create intentional time for space for mindful movement, deep breathing, or intentional connection with colleagues.

Mentioned

Reimagining Workplace Well-Being: Fostering a Culture of Purpose, Connection, and Transcendence, by Jessica Grossmeier

Connect with Jessica on LinkedIn

Free resources

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Ever wondered why some changes seem impossible to sustain while others just click?

It’s not magic—it’s science.

In this episode, we’re talking about a 3-part recipe for behavior change that was first developed 30 years ago and is still making waves today. If you’ve struggled with change or are trying to help others make positive changes, you need to leverage all three of these key factors–in the right proportions.

Key Takeaways

1. Information, motivation, and behavioral skills all play important and interlocking roles in fostering positive behavior change.
2. Strategies that address all three of these factors are likely to be the most effective.
3. By considering the complexity of the behavior, we can tailor our approaches for maximum impact.

Related Episodes

Ep 129: Why it’s so hard to convert good intentions into action

Ep 11: The Attention, Intention, Action Cycle

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Whenever we make plans or set goals, it's important anticipate the inevitable bumps in the road, and be ready to adapt and course-correct.

But sometimes, life doesn't just serve up a bump in the road. It delivers an earthquake that shakes us to the core and opens up a chasm into which our entire life--and all of our fancy plans--are thrown. In an instant, the goals, projects and ambitions that have been driving our thoughts, activities, and even our identities become irrelevant.

Today, psychologist Bethy Campbell joins me to talk about how to handle it when life goes completely off the rails.

Key Takeaways

1. Many of us tend to define ourselves by the goals that we set and accomplish. Consider the possibility that how we deal with life’s catastrophes may be even more revealing of our character and identity.
2. Even when you’re stuck with something you didn’t choose, you still have the power to choose how you respond to and learn from those experiences.
3. Before we go looking for those silver linings or opportunities, it’s important to allow ourselves to acknowledge our grief and disappointment over what we may have lost.
4. Even if we are forced to radically recalibrate our goals or our definition of success, setting doable goals gives us something to work toward and celebrate.

Mentioned

Life Directions Consulting with Dr. Bethy Campbell

Wellness Works Here

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These final few days of the year are a great time to reflect on the year that’s past and think about what we’d like to focus on or accomplish in the New Year. And in this episode, I’m sharing a three-part process that might just become your new end-of-year ritual. Instead of your New year’s Resolutions being a well-intentioned flash in the pan, we’re going to kindle a flame that will burn brightly all year.

Key Takeaways

- Reflecting on our past successes, however modest, helps build the self-efficacy needed for future change
- Connecting our goals to our values helps us tap into the intrinsic motivations that fuels sustained effort.
- Link each goal to an identity statement that reflects who you want to become, not just what you want to achieve
- Focus on no more than 2-3 goals at a time to avoid overwhelming yourself and diluting your efforts
- Create "if-then" commitments for how you will handle potential obstacles when they arise

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Wrestling with a tough choice? Trying to weigh the pros and cons but going in circles? In this episode, I've got a systematic approach to decision-making that can bring some welcome clarity to complex choices.

Whether you're standing at a personal or professional crossroads, or debating different solutions to a problem, this framework will help you understand both the rational and emotional elements of your decision-making process--helping you move forward with more clarity and confidence.

Key Takeaways

- Quantifying vague benefits or drawbacks ("more time" vs. "2 hours per week") can help clarify costs and benefits of different options.
- We sometimes conflate past decisions with current ones, allowing unresolved feelings about previous choices to cloud our present decision-making.
- What feels like indecision may sometimes be unprocessed emotions about what we'll need to let go of - even when we're clear about the right choice.
- Resistance to a logically sound choice often signals important emotional considerations that need attention.

Mentioned
- Decision Scoring Spreadsheet

- Sign up for email notifications

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Struggling with hard-to-quit habits? Whether it's the nightly glass of wine, mindless snacking, or endless social media scrolling, in this episode we're talking about why these habits are so sticky - and more importantly, how to finally change them.

You'll learn how your brain's reward system actually works (it's not what most people think!) and practical strategies for making lasting changes without giving up pleasure altogether.

You'll learn specific techniques for navigating cravings, resetting your reward system, and creating new habits that satisfy your brain's needs in more constructive ways. If you're tired of feeling stuck in cycles of pleasure-seeking behaviors, this episode offers a fresh perspective and actionable solutions for lasting change.

Key Takeaways

1. Some habits are simply routines, but some habitual behaviors engage the brain’s reward centers, which makes them harder to break.
2. Dopamine doesn't make us feel good. It motivates us to pursue certain anticipated rewards.
3. The reward we get from unwholesome habits often gets less potent over time. Recognizing this can be a powerful step toward breaking the cycle.
4. Instead of exhausting your willpower trying to resist these habits, focus on pursuing something else that provides a similar neurochemical reward but without the negative consequences.
5. Changing the context in which a habit occurs can help weaken its hold. The more cues you disrupt, the easier it will be to weaken automatic responses and create new habits

Mentioned

Ep #156: Why we resist positive change

Ep #157: What to do with negative thoughts

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Our thoughts powerfully impact our lives—but we don't always pay enough attention to what we're telling ourselves. In this episode, we’ll take a look at four distinct categories of thoughts: those that are both true and helpful, those that might not be proven but serve us well, those that are true but get in our way, and those that are neither true nor helpful.

I even made you a cool decision tree worksheet to help you apply these concepts to your own thoughts and move forward with more clarity and confidence.

Key Takeaways

1. Remember that not all true thoughts are helpful—reframing them can better support your growth.
2. Keep an eye out for absolute statements like "always" or "never;" these are red flags for cognitive distortions.
3. Thoughts that are neither true nor helpful can be safely disregarded.
4. Building your "True and Helpful Thought Library" can help keep you focused on your growth and progress.

Mentioned in this Episode

Decision Tree Worksheet

Episode #156: How to Overcome Your Resistance to Change

Workbook/Listening Guide: 8 Things You Need to Create Positive Change

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